We aren't scared of when we're going to die, we're scared of how we are going to die, amirite?

I'm scared of when I'm going to die. Not how. I have children.

With the availability of assisted reproductive techniques, there have been far more virgin births in recent decades than in the millenia before, amirite?
@Most unlikely. Such processes are rarely started until two years of attempting to conceive naturally.

Sure, but there are causes that make it obvious that women are infertile and need IVF even without trying to conceive. In these cases, depending on the clinic, women may be able to get IVF with donor sperm even if they have never had a partner. Depending on your definition of virginity, the same can hold for lesbian couples.

Also keep in mind that, even if it is still rare currently, the number of virgin births in history before has been extremely low. Most people (depending on religion) believe there has been only one or none at all. Not sure if there have been turkey baster pregnancies in virgin women before though, that does seem a possibility though again likely extremely rare.

Unicorns are always horny and so are dolphins. What about Dolf Lundgren. amirite?

It's time to put down the blunt

Attractive people telling unattractive people that looks don't matter is the same as rich people telling poor people that money doesn't matter, amirite?

I'm unattractive but rich. What does that get me?

No food tastes better at lukewarm temp, amirite?

Except for freshly baked bread

Dating someone is trying a product before you buy it. Divorce is returning a product you don't like. amirite?
Considering how old the statement, "thank you, Captain Obvious" is, it's a wonder how no compant capitalized on making "Captain Obvious" a character until Hotels.com did. amirite?

What's a 'compant'?

We pay actors thousands to act homeless, yet we don't do that for the real homeless. amirite?

No we pay actors to entertain us

Squeaky doors are good for sneaky kids, amirite?

Dogs. You need a yappy dog

Insane to think flowers have evolved to be sexy to bees more than to other flowers. amirite?

Well flowers can't really see can they?

No matter how many cities and buildings are constructed, the Earth does not get any lighter. amirite?

Cities and buildings...no, but think of all the stuff we sent into orbit and around our solar system and further. Not much lighter but just a bit lighter.

All ancient prophets could have been schizophrenic. amirite?

Probably bipolar. Mania often includes hyperreligiosity, being on a mission from god, etc.

Normal bread is 100% edible raw toast. amirite?

Raw toast. Well, on that note, good night, Internet.

Sometimes life throws you Poptarts; p o p t a r t, amirite?
Dogs were once an exotic pet. amirite?