+286What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette? For a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside, amirite?
+4,487When Hermione's true love left her, she continued on to help Harry defeat the most powerful wizard of all time. When Bella's true love left her, she curled up in the fetal position for four months, cried, and jumped off a cliff. amirite?
+5,231Whatever you give a woman, she'll make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiples and enlarges what is given to her. So if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit. amirite?
+364A relationship is like standing on wet cement..The longer you stand the more difficult is to leave & even if you leave, you leave your footprints behind. amirite?
+524What if the Hogwarts founders had boring-ass last names? "What house are you in?" "Oh, you know, Steves," amirite?