About me.

This profile is CIA themed. I sometimes make CIA jokes in comments that go way over people's heads because they don't realize that. My name isn't really John_Smith. That much should be obvious.

I'm not really in the CIA. Or rather, if you ask me if I'm in the CIA, I will tell you that I'm not.

That's not exactly what I would tell you.

I would say, "I can neither comment nor speculate as to matters of that nature."

I don't make serious posts that much anymore, or serious comments for that matter. I have really weird opinions that make sense to me, while other people just can't fathom why I feel like that. Like gay, marriage. I am of the opinion that gays should be allowed to marry. Seems like a pretty normal opinion so far, right? Well I'm also of the opinion that they shouldn't be allowed to have kids.
Why? Because gay people can't have kids. In my eyes, a child is the physical representation of the love between two people, and it seems unnatural to artificially inseminate/be inseminated artificially by some random person that isn't going to be that child's parent, someone that neither parent is in love with. By all means, gays, adopt a child, raise that child as your own, love that child unconditionally, but do not engineer a child through scientific means with some person that you do not love.

Do I sound like an asshole yet? I'm not sure why, I'm a really nice guy.

Facts about me, by which you will judge my character without ever having met me (This list is dynamic)
-My name is Eric.
-My favorite color is Red.
-I am an 18 year old Caucasian, non-Hispanic male.
-I live in the state of Illinois, about an hour north of Chicago.
-I graduated High School in 2012, and if all goes well, I will graduate College in 2016.
-I have been granted a full ride to my University based on Academic merit, I got a 32 on my ACT.
-I am currently majoring in Law Enforcement and Justice Administration
-Contrary to what is implied by this profile, I would like to be a US Marshal.
-According to that political compass fellow that's been floating around here, I'm almost entirely moderate.
-I believe that lawful citizens should be able to own guns.
-I believe that marijuana should be legal, though I do not condone its use.
-I also do not condone the consumption of alcohol or nicotine, and tend think less of those that do consume them.
-I believe that abortion should be legal in the United States, but I also believe that it's wrong.
-Essentially, I believe that it is not the duty of the government to regulate personal moral decisions. If you want to be a terrible person, that's between you and your God.
-I believe in God, and an afterlife. You should, too, but it's your right not to.
-I don't think anyone goes to Hell for a lack of faith in God. people go to Hell because they're bad people, and they're not sorry for it.
-I believe that there are very few people in Hell.
-I'll often credit God as the inventor of everyday objects. Ex: "Oh, it's raining? Good thing God invented umbrellas!"
-I do not much follow any particular religion, but I am an Ordained Minister and can preform marriages.
-I would describe myself as being in love.
-I often use the wrong pronouns on purpose, e.g. "When I was just a little lass..." or "That Ashley fellow sure has a great set of knockers."

  • Things that are in my pockets at all times
    -Whenever I have pockets available, those pockets contain: 1.) My knife 2.) My lighter 3.) Chap stick 4.) My wallet 5.) My handkerchief 6.) A number of dollar bills. I may also have my cellphone and a tin of mints.
    -Most of the things in my pockets are not just for my benefit, but the benefit of others. e.g. I carry a lighter even though I don't smoke.

Quotes that I like:
"Anyone who's throwing dirt is losing ground."
"Abortion should not be a form of birth control
"People should know better than to do all the shit I arrest them for. I shouldn't even be doing this job."
"It doesn't take long to tell someone you love them. It takes a lifetime to prove it."
"A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can in a sermon."
"I'm not sure whether I found a rope or lost a horse."