The real confusing part is that they're all true.
That's so there's one for every occasion.
Is it me?
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be on hard drugs.
This was my "the talk":
Dad: son... don't be a whore.
Me: What the hell prompted that dad?
Dad: Fatherly obligations, son. Fatherly obligations...
--A special thanks to my dad, for going the extra mile on this one----
She obviously had so much homework that it made her parent stupider,
I totally agree, when I was little and sat around thinking about hovercrafts and politics, I thought Obama would only get one term.
My girlfriend's parents called me a pedophile because I'm 38 and she's 20.
It ruined our ten year anniversary.
You don't know what you're talking about; you're not a doctor.
So quit bullshitting everyone and spreading lies on the internet behind the safety of your computer screen.
I believe he was introducing Seymour to his welcome, you see, it's rather fancy to word it like that actually. Much like a waiter saying, "Your caviar, sir."
Yeah, I saw on the news some footage of Obama busting into Lahore with an AK-47 and mowing down some fathers.
Don't try to trick me with facts
If you're the last one alive that means you win the game