Dear Santa, I don't want anything for Christmas except for the person reading this to have an amazing holiday, amirite?
What's with when you go to a restaurant and when they give you the bill its in a little book? Is it like the story of your meal? Once upon a time there were some really hungry people... amirite?

Once upon a time there were some really hungry people. There were 5 people, to be exact. Those people were Jim, Tim, Bob, Joe, and Sukhdeep. Jim, Tim, Bob, and Joe were all supervisors at Dell. Sukhdeep was a tech center associate. The five buddies went to "Ching Ming's China food", they requested a booth when they got there. Everybody had been there before, except Sukhdeep. So everyone ordered their favorites, Sukhdeep was having trouble deciding though. So, everyone was done deciding what they were to order and everyone went on to help Sukhdeep decided on a dish. They all suggested their favorite dishes. Joe suggested the "Sesame Goat", this brought Sukhdeep into tears. It reminded him of his goat Raj back in India. Sukhdeep's sadness turned into anger, resulting in him flipping over the table and rushing out of the restaurant. The remaining four then ordered their food at a different table and enjoyed their night.
The next day "Sukh" went back to India to live with his Goat.
Jim became the general manager of Dell in Oklahoma, being transfered.
Tim went on with his boring life.
Joe was transferred to Alaska.
Bob drank too much and died due to liver failure.
The End.

If you got message from your Girlfriend saying "Honey,Thespacebuttononthisphoneisfaultywhenyougethomepleasegivemeanalternative." you'd wonder what a ternative is, amirite?
@acisseJ I'm pretty sure it actually originates from sickipedia.

Ladies and Gents, Today I present you a pair who both remember that some joke was published on some site a year or more ago. Undoubtebly, they each keep a writen diary where they both store dates and appearances of internet jokes. Really, this deserves an applause, congratulations you two.
http://ctrlv.in/71372

When you think about it, Hitler really wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler, amirite?

The only reason Hitler killed Hitler was because the Jews sent him a gas bill.

mywhiteproblems.com is cool but they should make a site like that for other ethnicities. Like myblackproblems.com and they could post stuff like "I don't know who my baby's daddy is"; or myjewishproblems.com: "I lost a penny"; and myasianproblems.com: "I got an A-", amirite?

MyIndianProblems.com, I accidentally disconnected a customer's phone.
Or, my gas station was robbed today.

You've never understood why liking fish sticks makes you a gay fish, amirite?
@DavidSedano Woah, settle down now Kanye.

Seriously... He'd be a better artist without all of that auto-tuna.

There should be an international hand signal for "Sorry, my bad" that you can use when driving. amirite?
Jesus can walk on water. Humans are 75% water. I can walk on humans. Therefore, I am 75% Jesus, amirite?

I can walk on carpet. Carpet is 0% water. Therefor, I am 0% Jesus...
DAMN IT I FUCKED UP AGAIN.

Santa has run out of coal this year, so all the naughty children will be receiving Nickelback albums, amirite?
@Nickelback is the cause of face cancer ok wat omg lol.

I don't understand your emotions in this comment.
First of all you state your opinion with a pointless "ok" at the end.
THEN, you insert a "wat" as if you don't know what you meant by your own comment.
Afterwards, you insert "omg" since apparently, you were shocked by what you said.
Finally, you placed an "lol". I highly doubt that you would have laughed out loud at something related to cancer, no matter how messed up you may be.
If we were actually ever to have a zombie apocalypse, I bet the zombies wouldn't even noticed you. They're hungry for brains, something you may be lacking.
If you thought my comment was "mean" then I apologize if I offended you in any manner.
Rant over.

Guys: you love it when you put a load in the dishwasher and she swallows, amirite?
@Sun Way to not give recognition to the other Asian nationalities and to sleeping people.

Sorry,
-_- =
People from Afghanistan
People from Armenia
People from Azerbaijan
People from Bahrain
People from Bangladesh
People from Bhutan
People from British Indian Ocean Territory
People from Brunei
People from Cambodia
People from China
People from Christmas Island
People from Cocos Islands
People from Georgia
People from Hong Kong
People from India
People from Indonesia
People from Iran
People from Iraq
People from Israel
People from Japan
People from Jordan
People from Kazakhstan
People from Kuwait
People from Kyrgyzstan
People from Laos
People from Lebanon
People from Macao
People from Malaysia
People from Maldives
People from Mongolia
People from Myanmar
People from Nepal
People from North Korea
People from Oman
People from Pakistan
People from Palestinian Territory
People from Philippines
People from Qatar
People from Saudi Arabia
People from Singapore
People from South Korea
People from Sri Lanka
People from Syria
People from Taiwan
People from Tajikistan
People from Thailand
People from Turkey
People from Turkmenistan
People from United Arab Emirates
People from Uzbekistan
People from Vietnam
People from Yemen
And sleeping people.
Better, Dennis?

Big head, tiny body. You can never unsee it, amirite?
Why should guys be offended by gay people? The fewer players in the game, the better! amirite?

Gay guys got it easy, bro...
http://ctrlv.in/72184

Sometimes, after a long session of amazing sex, you wish you were actually there having it instead of watching from your computer. amirite?
Before he learned he was a demigod, you wonder why Percy Jackson didn't realize something was up when he took showers and didn't get wet, amirite?
It must be embarrassing when you're messing around with your partner and you're both all entangled when your owner pulls you out of his pocket and wants to listen to music, amirite?