We are the next fossil fuel. amirite?

Ackshually... We won't be, because we will rot and decay. Fossil fuels exist because a long time ago there was no fungi to digest dead plants and animals. Now it is all just returned the the atmosphere as carbon dioxide.

If you're fortunate enough, your organs will spend their entire lifetime in complete darkness. amirite?
We pay garbage companies to take things that belong to us. amirite?

They're taking old banana peels and dirty napkins, not our TVs and furniture.

We all have our inner voices, humans think, dogs woof, cats meow but DINOSAURS are probably screaming 24/7, amirite?
@TheLucidMan Dinosaurs have been dead 24/7 for a while.

Thats what they want you to think, I mean.. YCKGXGKFKDKTXKYCHCKHFGSTATUONFJIV

It's very likely that someone that you don't even know has masturbated thinking about you. amirite?
A peanut allergy is not a nut allergy, amirite?

Correct, a peanut is a legume

It's very likely that someone that you don't even know has masturbated thinking about you. amirite?
@William2626 How come?

Say someone sees you as you walk by each other and thinks your attractive, right? Well if they go home and masturbate old school, then they might picture you while they masturbate.

You will never find a sane, gorgeous woman homeless, amirite?
@I can help. How hot are you?

I give myself a 6 but I've never bought my own drinks when out sooooo

Dressing rooms are where we confess to ourselves that we are not fit. amirite?
The age of 9 is your 10th year alive. amirite?

Yes but you only become 1 year old after your first year is complete. Check your math

All you're saying is that you're 0 until you're 1 year old. Or that you're 30 until you're 31

Crabs, lobsters, shrimp, & other seafloor crawling creatures see fish the same way we look at birds, bugs, & bats. Flying, amirite?
We eat fruits. If the role is reversed, fruits eat our babies. amirite?
It takes quite a bit of self-discipline to not just wear sweatpants all the time and everywhere. amirite?
@Tanmoykayesen It's getting cooler out, pajama mama season is soon upon us.

Its always that time in Florida.... Sometimes you see some good stuff, sometimes you don't... But that's just how life works isn't it

If a person is average height/ weight, intelligence, makes the median income, has average athletic ability, average personal relationships, then they are probably an above average human. amirite?

Humanity is the unique 49% utter idiots (like me), 49% over achievers and 2% actually people who are totally balanced (actual statistics may vary, but u get the idea)