Everything that has raisins in it would be better if the raisins were M&Ms. For example, a box of raisins, amirite?
Arizona says life starts two weeks before conception. That is incredibly stupid, amirite?
This is way more difficult to fix than you'd think, amirite?

Car's ruined. Time to buy a new one.

If we could ban guns, we would have world peace, just like all that peace we had before guns were invented, amirite?
@World peace will never exist as long as their are humans

The mailman knocked on my door yesterday so i killed him

It's interesting how babies are actually born sort of as animals, all crawling and not comprehending (nor caring) for math and schedules and work and whatnot, but we as humans train them to become all human-y by teaching them to walk and do taxes. We train the little clumsy monkeys to become civilized and boring humans just like everybody else. It's not the race that is like this, it's the training. We're not naturally this way, we train each other to become this, amirite?
I have to apply a moist ointment to my groin every night. That's the grossest sentence you've ever read. amirite?

After several long minutes of intense squeezing and secretion of a yellow, mucos-like goo, the large pimple finally burst into a violent volcano of pus of blood onto the adjacent wall; the man shrieked out in delighted agony and proceeded to stick his finger into the wound, squishing around at the muscle and tissue in his back.

It's awkward when someone has an almost-mustache, amirite?

Yeah, Mindy should work on that.

You don't have 150 friends, amirite?

I can count all of my friends on one hand. While it's in a fist.

Dreams are nothing more than a subconscious pit that we dump our insanity into so we can wake up ready to eat cereal instead of the neighbor's children. amirite?

None of my neighbors have children...


Imagine how long it would take to decide on a company name. It's like your username, except it actually matters, amirite?
Why do we call it Obamacare? President Obama is not going to come to your house and treat you every time you are sick. We're not injecting people with Obama or giving them Obama pills either. The bill is about caring for people's health; we should refer to it as Healthcare because that's just what it is. The term Obamacare was simply coined to make Healthcare sound scarier and more sketchy, amirite?
You can't claim to be against racism if you don't support homosexuals. People don't choose their skin color or where they're born, nor do they choose if they are attracted to the opposite or same sex, amirite?

Anyone else like me just not give a fuck about gay rights? When I say this I don't mean that you are against them, simply that you wish the American public would grow up and pass whatever laws needed so that when I turn on the T.V I don't have to hear about the life of some gay guy and his lover.

Christianity is obviously the best cure for gayness. Just get on your knees, drink a little wine, and accept the body of another man into your mouth, amirite?
@Take2 And also I just saw Colbert and you copied this from him.

No, I simply borrowed it from him. He and I have an exclusive licensing agreement that allows me to use his jokes until over 9000s POTDs are achieved.

Teeth are little brats. They're so high maintenance. Nothing else gets cleaned 2-3 times a day! They have their own brush. They have their own doctors. They get first dibs on everything you eat. AND THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO GROW IN STRAIGHT. amirite?
@Juliaface Mine are straight... But it's weird because my parents' aren't

For a second there I thought you were saying your parents were gay.