Car's ruined. Time to buy a new one.
The mailman knocked on my door yesterday so i killed him
After several long minutes of intense squeezing and secretion of a yellow, mucos-like goo, the large pimple finally burst into a violent volcano of pus of blood onto the adjacent wall; the man shrieked out in delighted agony and proceeded to stick his finger into the wound, squishing around at the muscle and tissue in his back.
Yeah, Mindy should work on that.
I can count all of my friends on one hand. While it's in a fist.
None of my neighbors have children...
What company was that?
Our leader varies from time to time. We just choose the moose with the strongest antlers.
Anyone else like me just not give a fuck about gay rights? When I say this I don't mean that you are against them, simply that you wish the American public would grow up and pass whatever laws needed so that when I turn on the T.V I don't have to hear about the life of some gay guy and his lover.
No, I simply borrowed it from him. He and I have an exclusive licensing agreement that allows me to use his jokes until over 9000s POTDs are achieved.
For a second there I thought you were saying your parents were gay.