Not to be racist, but how do people in Asian countries text? China has over 60,000 characters. Amirite?

It's sad how you had to put "not to be racist" in front of a non-racist post. Says a lot about society...

It would be really funny if the GPS changed voices depending on what part of town you are in. YOOO Man, Yawll enturrin da ghetto! teerrrn leffft and' hit up tha likor store beeotch! Nah Nah Nah Nah Yawll misst da teeern. You are reallly dumm. Fur reel. amirite?

What would happen if you drove through chinatown?

Why does Sea World have seafood restaurants? I’m halfway through a fish burger when I realize, "Oh man….I could be eating a slow learner". amirite?
@Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight. Meat/fish/chicken/anything else you eat...

And stabbing leaves of lettuce with forks after drenching them in an acidic vinaigrette is so humane.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse. amirite?

Karma is coming to get me for laughing at that.

The best kind of Tourette's Syndrome is when you randomly say polite things; "Hey do you know what time it...YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY TODAY!" amirite?

I'd like the priest with tourette's better. "And all god's people say-- JOHN SMITHS WIFE IS HAVING AN AFFAIR!"

You have to be at least 17 to see an R rated movie and 18 to see an X rated movie. How much do they think you'll mature in that one year, amirite?

You do realize that you wake up on your 18th birthday dressed completely in business attire, amirite?

It’s really odd that Canada spends half as much as the US PER CAPITA in health insurance, yet EVERY SINGLE GODDAMMED INDIVIDUAL IS 100% COVERED, DOWN TO EVERY SINGLE HOMELESS BUM IN BUMFUCK, amirite?
@Well, 57 were able to.

Shall I give them an award? Would you like a prize? A monument perhaps?

Yes, a statue! Perfect. It shall be covered in gold leaf. Your image shall be worshiped! Beneath, the plaque shall read, "Anonymous, the man who had 57 people read his post." For CENTURIES, your image will be seen by millions -- NO! billions!-- they will weep at the feet of the statue.

Now all that's left is the pose... AH! I have it! You can spread your arms out, as if welcoming all people of the world into the arms of your omniscience. There shall be a small smirk painted on your glorious face. A wreath of olives will encircle your brow. Your trousers will have 57 pleats, so as to symbolize the 57 enlightened ones.


The 5 biggest lies ever told: "I'm fine", "Seriously, I don't like anyone", "I swear that was my last piece of gum", "I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions", and "I left my homework at home, I swear I did it!" amirite?

and "yes, I have been flossing regularly"

Well I just failed the dirty mind test...

It's sad how phobic of fat people society is today. if someone said, "I only date other white people", they'd be racist and close-minded. But if someone said "I don't date fat people", people see that as being "okay". It should NOT be "okay" to not date fat girls just because of our size, especially when it's thought to be caused by genetics or glandular problems. Instead guys should judge what's on the INSIDE, because that's what counts, amirite?

I'm judging your insides and all I see is risk for cardiovascular disease.

Boys are not going to run to your house at 3am with flowers. They aren't going to scream that they love you down the hallway. They aren't always going to randomly text you to tell you how beautiful you are. They probably aren't going to sing and dance with you in the rain. Yes, they cheat and lie, some of them. But so do girls. Stop setting these high fucking expectations and get over it. amirite?

People on Dear Blank Please Blank and Six Billion Secrets need to realize this.

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb, amirite?

I really want to homepage this more than once.

Saying "I drink beer because I like the taste" is a bit like saying "I watch porn because I like the story", amirite?
Given what you see on the Internet, it's shocking that only 1.25% of Americans consider themselves atheists, amirite?

Perhaps it's because teenagers don't fill out censuses.

We should be able to text during school and not get in trouble, amirite?

YEAH! We should also be able to play video games during school, talk on the phone during school, and leave class whenever we want, 'cause we don't go to school to learn or anything.