The wealthier you are, the further your couch is from a wall. amirite?

Unless you sleep on a couch on the street, with no house.

Never do. You might wake up!

If you still haven't cut your hair since the barbershops closed, you've probably got a good barber. amirite?

Or if I'm bald

The people that create children cartoons are the last person you'd leave a child with, amirite?

Yeah youre gonna need to explain this one

Humans Enjoy Being Pet Just As Much As Other Animals Do, amirite?

I need to be pet.

Some people masturbate more than they brush their teeth. amirite?

Well I brush my teeth twice a day so...

You can still talk pretty well without any teeth. amirite?
Pet fishes can't affectionately thank us for feeding and caring for them, amirite?

Nor make any noise and that's why it's the only tolerable pet.

There's just one answer to "you're a liar", amirite?

"Am I? Prove it."

The easier it is go to down something, the harder it is to go up it. amirite?
The easier it is go to down something, the harder it is to go up it. amirite?
@ImMemeLord Ever hiked into the Grand Canyon? Learned this the hard way when I was young.

Yeah, I went hiking with my dad to this steep hill. Thats what gave me the idea.

Pregnant women technically have eight limbs, thus making them arachnids, amirite?

Thanks now I have nightmares.

Saying peenis instead of penis gives more insight to what it actually does. amirite?

Bloody-ejaculationis. Mine doesn't work:(

More house pets probably die directly from lethal injection rather than natural causes due to more owners opting to euthanize them. amirite?
@Then why don't we do it for humans

Most humans rather suffer then commit suicide. I guess it is a cultural and religious thing

When you donate just the right amount of blood, an erection could kill you, amirite?

Wouldn't you just pass out?