+593Your pet's hair has the uncanny ability to appear on objects you're certain they've been nowhere near, amirite?
+1,317When you were little it was "Stop, look, and listen before you cross the street." As you get older it's more like "I'm crossing the street now. If you hit me I will sue you.", amirite?
+17"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Amirite?
+1,419Listening to music by yourself: This is the best song ever!... Playing music for friends: It gets better in a minute, I swear... amirite?
+543Little Red Riding Hood didn't listen to Mama, Pinocchio was a liar, Robin Hood a thief, Tarzan wore no clothes, and Snow White lived with 7 men(the slut). These are the stories our parents told us and they complain that our generation is messed up, amirite?
+833"He's only being a jerk because he likes you". Mom, I'm pretty sure it's just the fact that he is a dick, amirite?
+2,378It takes 22 muscles to smile and 37 muscles to frown. That means I'm working out harder than you, Mr. Fucking Happy. amirite?
+18"GET A HAIR CUT!" "But I'm Jewish..." "THEN GROW A BEARD!" "But I'm ten..." "SO IS THE MEXICAN GIRL DOWN THE STREET BUT SHE DID JUST FINE!", amirite?