midnightcookies

Girls who constantly look at themselves in the mirror aren't vain, they're insecure, amirite?

I'm insecure until i look in the mirror and remember how fucking sexy i am, so i have to do it multiple times a day

You could never be intimate with someone who has the same name as a close relative, amirite?
@midnightcookies The kid I like's sister has the same name as me D:

If you want to get intimate with a kid, I think you've got bigger problems than that.

When you get a crush on someone that plays a musical instrument, the sound of their that instrument becomes kind of sexy, amirite?

I think the idea of someone playing an instrument is more appealing than the actual sound of the instrument.

Unless they're bagpipes. Bitches love bagpipes.

If Pokemon and The Office made a baby, no other show would be needed, amirite?

"Squirtle used water gun!" "That's what she said"

You're holding onto something you need to let go of, amirite?
@My dick.

His Dick

Anonymous +46Reply
You took it personally when the person before you played the "skip the next person" card in Uno, amirite?

It's just a card game. Just murder their family and get on with your life.

Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this bitch, eating those fucking crackers like she owns the place!", amirite?
@EpicBoy For diversity http://ctrlv.in/44681

http://ctrlv.in/44688
Baby eating a cracker. Get it? GET IT?!
okay i'm done -.-

Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this bitch, eating those fucking crackers like she owns the place!", amirite?
You don't know anyone from North Dakota, any important event that ever happened in North Dakota, or any famous monument from North Dakota, amirite?
You've learned more usable Spanish from Dora the Explorer than your high school Spanish class. amirite?

High school foreign language classes teach you such worthless shit. "Roberto is handsome", or "I would like to buy a postcard." Good stuff. How about something I'll use? Such as, "I'd like a shot of top shelf tequila", or "Do you have chlamydia?"

You wish you had the same awesome relationship with your parents as Olive Penderghast from Easy A, amirite?

"but I'm adopted"
"WHO TOLD YOU!?"

We all dial wrong numbers at some point but why dont we ever end up having a celebrity on the line? It'd be nice if you said "Hello, dad?" and got "No, this is Barrack Obama" as a reply, amirite?

Or you can just play along.
Like this:
Hello dad?
Yes son, btw your mom and I are getting a divorce.

Women's masturbation should be called 'Jilling Off', amirite?

I'm making this comment for the sole purpose for getting a love from Crobat.

Special occasions must be decided based on how scared people are of things. Trees only get one day. Sharks get a week. Black people get a whole month, amirite?
@CapedCrusader 2011 is the year of the rabbit, that makes sense, those things can be vicious!

Tim: There he is!
King Arthur: Where?
Tim: There!
King Arthur: What? Behind the rabbit?
Tim: It is the rabbit!
King Arthur: You silly sod!
Tim: What?
King Arthur: You got us all worked up!
Tim: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit.
King Arthur: Ohh.
Tim: That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
Sir Robin: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
Tim: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
Sir Galahad: Get stuffed!
Tim: He'll do you up a treat, mate.
Sir Galahad: Oh, yeah?
Sir Robin: You manky Scots git!
Tim: I'm warning you!
Sir Robin: What's he do? Nibble your bum?
Tim: He's got huge, sharp... er... He can leap about. Look at the bones!