We were all once our father's sperm, racing against millions of others for our own survival, and against all odds… finished in first place. amirite?

The smartass are all ejaculated by masturbation

Companies are purely motivated by money, yet don't want employees purely motivated by money. amirite?
@Tanmoykayesen I just want to work a livable wage and do what I do well, but every company wants me to keep rising through ranks...

Reminds me of one of my favorite memes I'm having turned into a t-shirt: "Dream job? Sorry, I don't dream of labor"

You don't become a less picky eater growing up, as an adult you could simply choose not to buy it and only eat food that you like. amirite?

Yeah, I hated Brussel Sprouts as a kid. Nasty little cabbages.

Then as an adult I learned not to boil them and instead roast them with garlic and parmesan. Much better.

In our lifetime, we go from being amazed to see ambulance coming to you as a child to being terrified to see ambulance coming to you when you are old. amirite?

Why would I be terrified to see an ambulance coming to me?

Penis is a form of privilege. amirite?

Is dying younger and having to get up to see what made that noise in the middle of a night a privilege?

There are 5 times less binary numbers than base ten numbers, amirite?
@Dairyqueenemployee What about 2?

10 in binary. Any number in base 10 can be made in base 2

Males tend to have better hand-eye coordination than females not just from genetics but because they practice with aim, coordination, velocity etc. multiple times a day from a young age...peeing. amirite?
@mkfireman Yet they still always manage to piss on the floor

peeing on the floor is a good thing, it just evaporates anyway and you save water from flushing

If they had included any sport from "Takeshi's Castle" in the Tokio Olympics, it would have gone to another level. amirite?
@Plastic_Island3688 Don't forget Para-Wacky Stuff.

Wacky stuff is all inclusive. Disability doesn't matter when getting hit with giant foam paddles.

The only result of an arm-wrestle with yourself is a tie, amirite?

Imperials should have gone with a Win-Fighter instead of a Tie-Fighter. Just sayin'...

A baby got punched. Yeah. The dude with grey hair punched it, amirite?

I wanna buy that guy a beer

People with false teeth have different sets of them for different events, amirite?
Humans have normalized touching almost every part of their partners bodies with every part of their own except touching eyeballs together. amirite?

It's called 'squicking' and all the cool kids are doing it, nerd.

The most valuable thing parents can give their children is inexpensive taste. amirite?

That is a good one, but coming from someone who grew up with their parents feeding them trash, I would say good eating habits would have been something I really appreciated.

There'd be a lot less animals in the world if everyone was vegan. amirite?
Some future archaeologist is going to dig up a hard drive, plug it in, and get Rick rolled. amirite?

Or maybe they won't be able to use it?