+399You hate it when you come out of a store and walk back to your car to find that someone parked too close for you to get in. Next time you should leave a note! "Dear asshole, The way you pulled in makes me wish your dad would have pulled out!", amirite?
+1,730Jesus can walk on water. Humans are 75% water. I can walk on humans. Therefore, I am 75% Jesus, amirite?
+2,718It would be really funny if the GPS changed voices depending on what part of town you are in. YOOO Man, Yawll enturrin da ghetto! teerrrn leffft and' hit up tha likor store beeotch! Nah Nah Nah Nah Yawll misst da teeern. You are reallly dumm. Fur reel. amirite?
+2,626The new Karate Kid is basically just Jaden Smith's re-creation of his dad's old show. He was chillin out maxin' relaxin' all cool, shootin some b-ball outside of school when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in his neighborhood. He got it one little fight and his mom got scared, she said "You're going to learn kung-fu from the maintenance man downstairs.", amirite?
+659I don't know why everyone is so surprised about Steve Jobs resigning. It was stated on page 28 of the iTunes User Agreement, you guys. amirite?
+466Parents spend the first 10 years of a kid's life getting them into bed, the second 10 years getting their kid out of bed and the third 10 years wondering whose bed their kid is in. amirite?
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+365A fly drops 6 inches closer to the water in a pond which caused a fish to jump up to eat it; a bear to jump to catch the fish; a hunter to shoot the bear, which resulted in him leaving his lunch bag open; a mouse to swipe the hunters sandwich and a cat, which was running after the mouse, to get startled from the hunter's gun shot and jump into the pond. The moral of this story is that when a fly drops 6 inches, the pussy gets wet, amirite?
+1,731It's weird how people complain that seat belt laws take away their personal freedom, it's like, you know what else takes away personal freedom? Dying. Amirite?
+843You were born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning you break your legs, and every afternoon you break your arms. At night, you lie awake in agony until your heart attacks put you to sleep, amirite?