You sometimes wonder where people get their usernames from, amirite?

Everyone thinks mine is Patrick and Spongebob mixed together, but it's not. There was a pink sponge sitting on the table next to me.

Consider this: If a woman has only male children, she is the first woman in an unbroken line of women going straight back to the dawn of humanity to not have a daughter. The reverse is true for fathers having only daughters. amirite?

"I don't know if you know this, Annie, but I come from a long line of mothers and wives."
"Most people do, Britta."

If we, the human race, turned green right after we masturbate for the first time, what we call "normal" skin color nowadays would become a legend. amirite?

It would end racism. Just get everyone to touch themselves.

Starting a comment with "This is probably gonna get downvoted but" is pretty much a sure fire way of getting voted up, because the majority of the amirite community will pretty much go out of their way to prove that no one can accurately predict their behaviour, amirite?
Silly Pluto, orbiting the sun is for planets. amirite?

"I'm sorry Pluto, you're no longer a planet."
"AGGGGGHHHHHH. Can I still orbit the sun?"
"Feel free."

Bending spoons isn't all that fantastic. If a psychic really wanted to impress, they would bend a piece of spaghetti or a cracker without snapping it, amirite?

"I am going to bend this spoon using psychic power." bends spoon
"But you just bent it with your hands!"
"Who said the psychic power doesn't flow through my hands?"

Making fun of someone because of how much money their family has is just cruel, amirite?

YOU must be a Weasley.

Sometimes you wish you were allowed to secede your house from whatever country you live in and declare yourself sole monarch and supreme dictator of (your name)Land. amirite?

Can't you? Or is there a lot of paperwork involved? Some bloody wars, maybe? And the need for a passport when you go to the grocery story and border police to keep foreign squirrels out of your yard.

Yo' mama's so fat she has to wear larger clothes than the average female, amirite?

Yo' momma's so ugly, she had difficulty finding a suitable partner in her younger years.

Pretend you are in a burning building, and for some reason there was a petri dish of 10 living, viable, fertilized 1 week old human embryos that could grow healthily, and also a 5 year old crying toddler in the same building. If you could only save one of them from the fire, you would choose to save the 5 year old, amirite?

I think I could shove a petri dish in my pocket, run and get the toddler, then get the fuck out of the building. Seems like the best option.

When somebody asks you to pretend like you are having a conversation with them, you automatically slip into a valley girl speech pattern, amirite?

"Quick, pretend we're having a conversation!"
"Kay, so like, what are you doing this Friday? I TOTALLY am going to that girl's party. I don't even, like, know who she is, I'm just gonna crash, y'know? I'm buying shoes tomorrow and it's going to be sooo fabulous. I LOVE shoes."
"You sound like an idiot."
"I'm making conversation."

Guys, it's pretty awesome that your penis doesn't bleed every month, amirite?

Girls: It's pretty awesome that you get some privacy when you pee in public bathrooms, amirite?

It's dumb that my manager at work always ignores the negative comments in the suggestion box. Listening to them is how he can help improve the workplace, amirite?
@Statefarm That's very true. I've been going to this one place for about two years and even just being a customer, I drop...

I used to go to this one really great pizza place, but then it changed managers, and the new one decided to just change the whole recipe. Out of nowhere. And now the pizza sucks. I don't go there anymore.

TLC shouldn't stand for The Learning Channel. They Should rename it WAPC, for Weird Ass People Channel, amirite?

I thought it was Tomatoes, Lettuce, and Carrots?

Laptop users: Go to a post, find a comment that disagrees (is red), and bend the top of your laptop towards you. You freaked, amirite?