Everyone thinks mine is Patrick and Spongebob mixed together, but it's not. There was a pink sponge sitting on the table next to me.
"I don't know if you know this, Annie, but I come from a long line of mothers and wives."
"Most people do, Britta."
It would end racism. Just get everyone to touch themselves.
Ooh, I loved it, YOU DON'T KNOW ME
"I'm sorry Pluto, you're no longer a planet."
"AGGGGGHHHHHH. Can I still orbit the sun?"
"I am going to bend this spoon using psychic power." bends spoon
"But you just bent it with your hands!"
"Who said the psychic power doesn't flow through my hands?"
YOU must be a Weasley.
Can't you? Or is there a lot of paperwork involved? Some bloody wars, maybe? And the need for a passport when you go to the grocery story and border police to keep foreign squirrels out of your yard.
Yo' momma's so ugly, she had difficulty finding a suitable partner in her younger years.
I think I could shove a petri dish in my pocket, run and get the toddler, then get the fuck out of the building. Seems like the best option.
"Quick, pretend we're having a conversation!"
"Kay, so like, what are you doing this Friday? I TOTALLY am going to that girl's party. I don't even, like, know who she is, I'm just gonna crash, y'know? I'm buying shoes tomorrow and it's going to be sooo fabulous. I LOVE shoes."
"You sound like an idiot."
"I'm making conversation."
Girls: It's pretty awesome that you get some privacy when you pee in public bathrooms, amirite?
I used to go to this one really great pizza place, but then it changed managers, and the new one decided to just change the whole recipe. Out of nowhere. And now the pizza sucks. I don't go there anymore.
I thought it was Tomatoes, Lettuce, and Carrots?
OMFG THATS SO COOL DO IT AGAIN.