My name is Earth and I am the third rock from the sun. Although I'm technically not rock, I'm about 75% water and 25% land. Nevertheless...
I am a pretty healthy planet that has seven continents and five oceans (although I really don't see a difference between each continent and each ocean). I have this disease called Mankind... it's been with me for about 200,000 years - it's never been a probably until recently. Boy has it gotten wild, but I believe it'll calm down sometime.
I orbit a type G2 yellow dwarf star named 'Sol'. What a lame name. Regardless, I'm not the only one circling Sol until he burns out in about 10 billion years. There are two people orbiting in front named Venus (some really inhospitable lady) and a midget named Mercury. There are also a bunch orbiting behind me. The first is a close brother of mine named Mars, who is a bunch of red dusty rocks and strange machines called 'rovers'. Then behind him there's this huge ring of rocks - I've had some encounters with them before, and they are not nice. After them are the giant people, who are also pretty gassy (sounds someone needs Gas-X), and their names are Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus (the unfortunately named one) and Neptune. There's also this icy, cold dwarf named Pluto who was recently evicted from the solar system - everybody thinks that was a total dick move. And beyond that is some girl named Sedna, who I've never heard much from.
If you noticed that my profile says I was born in 1921, ignore it. It is true my birthday is April 22, but 1921 is incorrect because that was the farthest back I could go. At an age of 4.6 billion years, I'm not surprised my birth year isn't up.
Well, it's about time to hit the ol' dusty trail. I've gotta get back to spinning in circles around the Sun. Somehow I haven't gotten dizzy yet...