Pretzeldude16

@More like crack

he literally has a pot on his head.

Birds sing in the morning to let their fellow birds know they survived the night. That might explain why humans love to sing, to say that we're still here. amirite?

I can't sing. So I just fart.

Ads are great for porn sites since they give us a chance to turn our volume down if we forgot to. amirite?

Yeah but porn ads are usually more porn. Longest 5 seconds of my life

@Unknowncpyt Would going down be a delevator or descalator?

There's still a counterweight or the empty stairs going up.

We never thank construction workers for their service, despite the fact that they dedicate large portions of their lives to making and maintaining buildings that are absolutely vital in our daily lives. amirite?

Where do you live that they don't spend 7/8ths of their time jerking each other off?

Since before the universe there was nothing, and everything came from that nothing, everything is nothing and nothing is everything. amirite?

It couldn't have been said any better

When you use your windshield wipers on the highway to clean your dirty windshield, you're just passing your dirty windshield to the car behind you. amirite?
It would probably be very satisfying to fall apart like a skeleton after stretching, amirite?

no thanks I'll stick to having intact limbs

Eventually there will be so much plastic in our foods, a real life Barbie will be born. amirite?

Her name is Kim Kardashian.

Girls can wear guys clothes and still look good, but guys can have long hair and look good. amirite?
Every time Superman rips his shirt open revealing his iconic "S", do all the buttons break off? Or is he moving so fast, he strategically unbuttons each button, preserving the integrity of his button down shirt. amirite?

It is not the shirt that rips. It is you.

As of 2019, checking people's IDs for whether they're 18 or not is really easy as you just need to check whether they were born in 2000 or before. amirite?

I was born 2001 and I'm 18...

If people couldn't hold in farts they'd be way more motivated to eat healthier, amirite?

Obviously not a vegan lol

A mistake is an accident that you accidentally do on purpose, amirite?

I guess, If that's what makes you feel better about yourself.

Many people are afraid of escalaters without knowing their fears aren't just over-worrying but well founded, amirite?
@Bedrockstar Explain?

There seems to be lots and lots of people that are fearful of them, but haven't seen justification for their fears. In truth there's been plenty of people killed by them and they are dangerous, but people don't require that knowledge to fear them if that makes sense?