The Earth is thought to be 46 hundred million years old. It may be hard to wrap your brain around that number so lets say the Earth is just 46 years old. That means single-celled organisms arrived around 11 years, simple animals around 40, dinosaurs around 45, and humans...only 2 hours ago. This really puts human existence into perspective, amirite?

And we already screwed the earth up.



In American film they make English accents sound SO posh; we don't actually all speak like that, amirite?



@your gay

My gay? I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean. I don't have a gay, and if I do, I seem to have misplaced it. Oh wait, you have my gay. It's okay, you can keep it. There. It's your gay now. Have fun with it.

All the pictures that have been and will be taken are already available on your screens. It's simply a matter of arranging the pixels properly, amirite?
@Rocky I like you, Steve, because you think about things in a refreshing way, like me.

Must be annoying to not be able to get your head through doorways.

Being a billionaire is kind of pointless, what are you going to spend a billion dollars on? amirite?

Leave huge tips at cheap diners to freak out the waitstaff. Buy a homeless guy a fully stocked RV, videotape it, and see if you can make it go viral. Set up a charity under an obviously fake name, something like "Ivanna Tinkle," and watch the media have fun with it. Start your own gameshow. Fill a small pool with jello or corn starch and water like you always wanted to do when you were a kid. Hire a bunch of people and prank a small town somehow, like leaving an identical lawn gnome on every doorstep, or organizing a huge impromptu scavenger hunt. Have a ball pit installed in your home. Have a superhero costume custom-made and go bungee jumping in it. Walk into a small store and announce that you want to buy everything in it. Stop people on the street and offer them large sums of money for their clothing. Scatter quarters all over a playground and watch small children have their days made when they find them.
Just think about it. I'm sure you'll find ways to have fun.

I wonder if the police changed their extension for calling the police from [I don't know] to 911 because of the incident happened on 9/11, amirite?
You wonder what would happen if you sell your soul to the devil in exchange for a one-way trip to heaven, amirite?

an atheist comes to yell at you for believing in heaven, and then while he isn't looking, throw him to the devil as a human sacrifice and then laugh maniacally on your way to the pearly gates. be sure to stop laughing before you get there, though, and look somber. the angels disapprove of murder, almost as much as they do loitering.

The best books to reread are the Harry Potter books because then you can see all the crazy foreshadowing you missed when reading them the first time. Like in Chamber of Secrets: "holy shit, Harry feels close to the diary because they're both Horcruxs, how did I miss that?", amirite?
@Hear, hear.

ear, ear!

Anonymous +223Reply
Whenever you text a bunch of people and no one replies, you are a little confused because SOMEBODY must have received the text out of all the people you texted, amirite?

it means no one loves you. you will die alone. your one-night-stand bastard child will die alone, also knowing that no one, not even his sole parent, loves or even wanted him. because of your foolishness, he will die alone, after swallowing lots of pills. then, years later and filled with self-loathing and unimaginable pain, you will have a stroke. unable to reach for help, you will die. slowly, painfully.

and then your thirty-two cats will eat your body whilst conversing over how dumb you were in life, and how that one cat fluffykins went and ate your eyes, which every cat knows are the best part, and fluffykins has always been a hog, but really, fluffykins? you had to go and eat both of them? god. it's not like any of the other cats like you anyway. you're gonna die alone. no cat will ever want to father your kittens. bitch.

What's greater then god? Nothing. Well is that pencil better then nothing? I guess. So if that pencil is better then nothing, and nothing is greater then god, then that pencil is better then god, amirite?

Using your logic, this post is stupid, stupid is drugs. So this post must be fuck you

You hate when you're trying to say something serious but it rhymes without you even trying, and now you just look like a poetic hipster who feels like crying, amirite?
Girls, You hate it when you sit down to pee and somones been brutally murdered in your underwear, amirite?
@Retooser Okay, I'm a girl and I find this disgusting. I do not want to hear about other girls' period blood, I'm sorry.

Oh, see, I read it as you sit down to pee and suddenly see this random body in your bathroom, wearing your underwear, dead.
Odd how the mind works.

What if mirrors are really other worlds that only have one purpose: to mimic your world. Let's say you get up to brush your teeth and someone in the mirror-world yells, "We need John Smith in green pajamas brushing his teeth ASAP!" It's pretty cool to think about, amirite?

I'm always creeped out by the thought of another world in the mirror, because what if the people in the mirror are FORCED to do everything we do? what if they're just minding their own business, but then we walk up and suddenly they have to do everything we do? What if they're cursed into mimicking our every action, no matter how small, and this has caused them to loathe their real world counterpart? What if, while you're looking in the mirror, combing your hair, your counterpart is sitting there seething and trying very desperately to reach through your glass barrier and choke you to death, if only to grant themselves freedom?

MOOOMMMMM . Can I please get my ___ peirced ?-- you have asked this before, amirite?

I got my three underscores pierced without asking.