+123Love is the key to the past, present, and future. But then again, you could always pick the lock with a bobby pin. That works too. amirite?
+2,492If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want a glass of milk. If you give a teenage boy a marker, he will draw a penis. Amirite?
+788I put my phone on "Airplane Mode." It was the worst Transformer ever. amirite?
+19It's so annoying when depressed people only look on the bad side and then call you "unrealistic". They act like there is only a bad side and no possibility of anything good happening, and THAT is unrealistic, amirite?
+2,461Dudes, before you make her too angry, remember, females have more experience cleaning up blood stains, amirite?
+947It's annoying when you're watching commercials and the Super Bowl interrupts it, amirite?
+3,130I put that "Take ten years off" make-up on my 9 and a half year old brother. I don't know where he went, but it might explain why my mom got fat and is acting like a bitch, amirite?
+576If the eyes are the window to the soul why does it hurt when I spray them with Windex? amirite?
+2,302Get punched: "Ow". Have something fall on your hand: "Ouch that hurt". Stub your toe: "Shit god damn mother fucker ow what the hell shit faced whore ass headed whole.", amirite?
+3,409Girls are like apples on a tree. All the sluts are on the bottom of the tree, and they get more attention because they're easier to get to. Then all the girls at the top think there might be something wrong with them, but, in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right guy- the one that's willing to climb all the way up. amirite?
+4,317How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven: one to change the lightbulb and ten to each take 200 photos of the event for facebook, clog up your news feed, and later on edit the pictures to black and white, amirite?
+2,919Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters, perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. amirite?
+456Girls: Sometimes you wish you were a guy just so you can beat someone up without looking like a bitch. amirite?
+1,295The perfect TLC show: Obese midgets with an obscene amount of kids, who force their children to compete in beauty pageants. They also bake cake in their spare time. Amirite?