Love is like two people holding a rubber band. They pull, then when one person let's go, it's the person who held on that gets hurt, amirite?
@inserts joke

inserts penis

It would suck if Hitler actually meant "I hate Juice" but people misheard him, amirite?
@BreakfastFan "Hey Hitler, do you want some of this delicious juice?" "Nein! I hate das juice!" "Are you sure? It's not from...

"hey hitler, want some orange juice?"
"NEIN! I HATE DAS JUICE!"
"let me rephrase. would you like the crushed fluid of an orange?"
"NEIN! MUST NOT BE ORANGE! MUST BE BLUE.. WITH BLONDE HAIR!"

If I'm José, Amirite?
@afternooner Sorry but it does, bitch

No need to call people names, fagnugget.

How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”, amirite?
@DryTurtle Fuck this made me laugh so hard

just read this as "fuck me so hard" lol

@"Change status to 'I <3 cocks'... oh I'm so good at this!"

(Your+name+(optional)): loving cocks isn't a bad thing. maybe he's just a passionate chicken farmer.

Fuck Boy Scouts. Instead there should be MAN SCOUTS! Activities include tying knots WITH A PYTHON, pitching a tent MADE OF LATEX AND CYANIDE, and earning merit badges and pinning them to YOUR BARE NAKED, HAIRY TORSO. Girl scouts have cookies? That's cool. We've got SMOKED KRAKEN ON A STICK! Amirite?
"How DARE you say the word rape!? That's insensitive to victims of sexual assault!" "INSENSITIVE?! DON'T YOU EVER USE THAT WORD! IT'S OFFENSIVE TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE SENSES!" It's never gonna stop, amirite?
@Brianne People?! You're offending animals!

animals? you are offending the other 4 kingdoms of life!

Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness.", amirite?
@Have you ever read the back of an Axe bottle?

have you ever read the back of an axe handle? it says "i chop things".

The worst place to crash would be in the middle of the highway or a busy intersection. Too many cars could crush you while you're sleeping, amirite?
If Dr. Seuss Was Actually a Doctor: Dr. Seuss: I do not like this brownish spot. I do not like this dark black dot. I do not like this odd-shaped mole. I do not like this porous hole. I'd wear more sunblock here and there. I'd wear more sunblock everywhere. It looks as though, I'm sad to say, that you have cancer, here today. Patient: Are you...high? amirite?
@Laughed so hard future comment of the day!

comment of the day? i do not want you feeling pissed but i don't believe that does exist

It wouldn't be that surprising if aliens accused the Korean language of plagiarising their crop circles, amirite?
@Blucatt Potd AND homepage in the same day.

Someone find me some peanut butter, because it sounds like somebody is jelly.

It's not fair that 'A dream within a dream within a dream' is an award winning blockbuster, but 'A woman within a woman within a woman' is just an unpopular Russian toy. They could've done so much more with that idea, amirite?
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to read a medication bottle and see "May cause extreme sexiness.", amirite?
@but it also causes weight gain :/

i think not taking birth control does that too.

@1039978

"forced" rhymes with "french toast meme"

guy on guy action is sexy! amirite?
@that's disgusting... Ugh... Jk! it's freakin hot!

that comment had quite the turn of events