+1,663Fuck Boy Scouts. Instead there should be MAN SCOUTS! Activities include tying knots WITH A PYTHON, pitching a tent MADE OF LATEX AND CYANIDE, and earning merit badges and pinning them to YOUR BARE NAKED, HAIRY TORSO. Girl scouts have cookies? That's cool. We've got SMOKED KRAKEN ON A STICK! Amirite?
+2,276"Can you scoop the litterbox?" sigh "yes mom" "and can you speak in a different tone of voice?" "HOLY SHIT I LOVE SCOOPING THE FUCKING LITTERBOX :D", amirite?
+1,542Sometimes it's fun to use unnecessary amounts of anger: "Peter can i have one of your chips?" "no" "DAMN IT PETER, I WILL SHIT ON YOUR GRAVE!!", amirite?
+1,135"Do your homework!" "but mom, you see, i'm studying to become the president of a great nation!" "what nation?" "Procrasti-Nation", amirite?
+1,880When a construction crew gets off break, their supervisor should say "STOP! hammertime", amirite?
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+724Lost hikers: "I WHIP MY FLARE BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY FLARE BACK AND FORTH..." Horses: "I WHIP MY MARE BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY MARE BACK AND FORTH..." Douchebags: "I WHIP MY PAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY PAIR BACK AND FORTH..." People could have more fun with this than they had with the opening line of Dynamite, amirite?
+649how to get out of an unwanted thumb war: "one, two, three, four. i declare a thumb war." "five six seven eight "I USE THIS HAND TO MASTURBATE :D" "dude..", amirite?
+1,969Dear Hillary Duff: thank you for not being an attention whore after you retired from Disney. Sincerely, humanity, amirite?
+372Math needs to be more interesting: "David is caught with both pot and crack. David's pot is valued at $310 an ounce and his crack is valued at $450 an ounce. David had 3 times as much pot as he had cocaine. In total, David had $54,000 worth of drugs. Write and solve a system of equations to determine how many ounces of each drug he had. Estimate how much prison time he will receive", amirite?
+773You hate it when you have to return a shirt because you're too sexy for it and it's starting to hurt, amirite?
+1,049"After the standardized exam, we will collect everything, including your scrap paper." Why? what are they gonna do, grade the dragon I drew? amirite?