Sarcasm_on_ice

If you were shrunk to the size of a pencil and put in a blender how would you get out?
You've accidently scared yourself before, amirite?

Once, I was using my phone in the middle of the night and I unknowingly glanced in the direction of a mirror and I saw this illuminated face looking at me and I thought "Oh lawd this is the end."

Offense and attack are near synonyms. If someone says something to you, and you take offense it literally means you are going on the attack. If instead you find it offensive, then you only feel like your sensibilities were attacked. Or, you could simply choose not to be offended, and perhaps to pity the other person for their lack of tact or experience.

I don't really think that being offended is a choice. You can choose to not dwell on the matter, but some things will always upset you.

Puns about shoes can heel the sole, amirite?

I guess I see your pointe.

Being in the friend zone is like an employer turning you down for a job, then calling you regularly bitching about the person they did hire.

Nope stop nope, human attraction is not like a job interview. It does not matter how many qualifications you have, if the person in question does not want to date you then that is that, and they're not "wrong" for feeling that way. Of course relationships aren't going to run smoothly 100% of the time, but that doesn't mean that the "hired" one was a huge mistake just because they complain about them a couple times like Jesus Christ get over yourselves these posts make me so mad I feel like I'm about to turn into a dragon and destroy a small village. If friendship is that much of a crappy consolation prize to you then tell them that, or at least tell them that it makes you feel bad when they discuss their relationship problems with you.

A guy acting feminine and liking more feminine things does not make him gay

I'm not sure if I'll ever live to see the day where it's not seen as too out-there to be a guy, put on some blush or mascara, do your nails, and then come home and bang your girlfriend, but I'd like to.

Rest in Peace Uncle Vernon Dursley (3/28/13)

The casting in general was so perfect.

What is your opinion about spanking children?

Eh, everybody's different. Some children never got spanked and they turned out fine, others did get spanked and they turned out fine. I was in the latter group because I was extremely hard to handle. My parents did explain to me right and wrong, of course, it wasn't just random smacking, but it helped me actually follow the message instead of going "Whatever I don't care if screaming in a mall is bad." Some kids don't need it, others do.

It should not be acceptable for a woman to be promiscuous

As long as she's not hurting anyone, I don't see why not.

You appreciate that <script>if ( currentUserUsername ) { document.write(currentUserUsername+" is an active user");}
else { document.write("there are many active users"); }</script> on this site, amirite?

FOOL ME ONCE SHAME ON YOU FOOL ME TWICE I CRY

Do you have a song that describes you/your life? If so, comment it.
Do you have a favorite quote(s)? If so, feel free to comment it.

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." G.K. Chesterton

I have others but gah I love this one.

Wow... that was the cutest hammer I've ever seen o>O

I am beyond done.

Someday you hope to get married, buy a house, have children, everything. The full catastrophe. Amirite?

Definitely the marriage thing, but I'm not sure about the WHOLE shebang. Then again, I'm 16 so it makes sense that I don't have the urge to settle right now.

There are two types of girls: ones that look out the window, and ones that look at their reflection in the window.

Then sometimes people are blind