SchrodingersCat

How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”, amirite?
An apple a day may keep the doctor away but not the emergency room. Stupid eating disorders, amirite?

They say millions of people struggle with eating disorders...but I'd say they're pretty good at it.

How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”, amirite?

I started and he left, but then Mike Wazowski came back and brought all his work buddies to watch :(

It be cool to meet the person who looks the most like you in the world, amirite?

That would be one sexy person hello smilie

You hate it when old people randomly die in public, amirite?

Seriously, it's like, what the fuck. You're stinking up the place, bitch.

Drug dealers should make a drug called Homework so that parents can't complain their children aren't doing it, amirite?
@We should rename sex "homework".

I guess the kids on 16 and Pregnant were trying to get extra credit then, huh?

I think the reason why Google added that Incognito Tab to its browser, and who will use it, is obvious. amirite?

That spy man has seen things he'll never be able to unsee.

Rebecca is gonna get down to Wal-Mart on Black Friday, amirite?

She's going to be stuck in the furniture department all day while looking at the seats there.

Imagine if we suddenly started saying the meaning of the swear instead of the actual word. "Shit, I can't believe you did that, you fucking asshole" would be "poop, I can't believe you did that, you having-sex butthole." Amirite?

What the eternal place of fiery torture man? I swear to Almighty Creator, I will beat your donkey.

Gengar has a shit eating grin, amirite?

Ugh, it's just Gastly.

Johnny Bravo would totally score with Snooki, amirite?

When asking another person to have a threesome with them, he'd say "Do the Monkey with me!".

Adding 'casserole' to the end of a dish makes it sound way less appetizing, amirite?
You'd rather club a baby seal to death than get clubbed to death by a baby seal, amirite?

I'd much rather prefer to go to a club with a baby seal

It's weird to think that we're living through history. We watched Egypt gain freed, Libya is fighting for independence, and who knows how many countries will protest? Amirite?
Drinks taste ALOT better when youre reeeaaaaallllyyyyyy thirsty, amirite?

I can tell you're thirsty because you added so many letters to 'really'.