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+113
To get that just-did-coke feel without the drugs, you can put lidocaine ointment in your nose.
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+116
Your stomach growling is you farting inside yourself,
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+142
you spend your life wishing you could stay in bed more, and then your last couple of years wishing you could get out of bed,
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+104
Everything you will ever do has a 100% mortality rate.
amirite?
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6
+100
Everyone is immortal until proved otherwise.
amirite?
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+115
Mosquitoes are probably the only animal that most people agree its OK to kill in any way necessary,
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76
+101
The population of Flavor Town must have lots of health issues,
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+87
We just accepted the fact that there is an animal that will fart on command when threatened.
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+102
The more items on a menu, the worse the food usually is,
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7
+100
If you put enough cups of ice on coasters in your room, you will have a dehumidifier.
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+106
Ignorance can get you into a sticky situation, but pride will make sure you never leave the situation,
amirite?
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+114
If you're reincarnated as a dog in the next life, hope that your owners not only take good care of you, but themselves as well... because you're going to see them naked a lot.
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+119
Durex marketing team must be the happiest people on earth. they're paid to make innuendos for a living,
amirite?
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+125
Anything can be porn, if you have the right attitude,
amirite?
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8
+68
Executives are the least likely to escape a burning building,
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