Shammy

OH FUCK, MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETE: http://amirite.net/730916
^Got that on the day after my birthday...awesome belated present :D

Alright, since I've begun using this site a little more frequently, I'll update this thing:

-I play drums, although I'm quite bad at it. I love doing improvised drum covers of songs I love. http://www.youtube.com/user/deedlebag?ob=4&feature=results_main
^This guy is my inspiration :D

-I hardly talk. Ever. At all. Except on the Internet. The Internet is cool like that.

-I'm your stereotypical rock-lover/pop-hater, although I like to think that my range of musical styles is pretty broad. I like everything from Led Zeppelin to Pearl Jam to Daft Punk to Hollywood Undead to All That Remains to Rise Against to Korn to AC/DC to Gorillaz to The Clash to Amon Amarth to (duh) FLOGGING MOLLY! :D Justin Bieber still sucks, though, as does Lil' Wayne as does Ke$ha.

-As you might have gathered, I like run-on sentences (don't tell my inner grammar Nazi, though.)

-I'm essentially an atheist, as the word comes from the Greek "A-", meaning "without," and "theos," meaning "God." If anything, I live without God, so there ya go. Used to be really grounded in my Christian beliefs (as you can see from some of my dumbass comments I made when I had just joined this sight), but yeah. Not anymore.

-I'm pro-gay and pro-choice. Well, pro-choice until the baby is in its last few weeks of development. If you don't want it, eliminate it while it's still just a collection of tissue - don't wait until it's almost ready to go, that's just cruel.

-I like playing video games, although my range of games is very limited. I don't know which franchise I should start with, so essentially the only games I have are Guitar Hero, Assassin's Creed, and Pokemon.

-Speaking of which, Pokemon is my favorite game series by far, and I've got a GameBoy Color, a Nintendo DS, a Nintendo DS Lite, and Red, Blue, Gold, two Emeralds, FireRed, two Diamonds, Platinum, Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness, and White to prove it. I am also a shiny hunter (although a rookie), and am currently hunting Pawniard on my White and Tentacool on my Platinum/second Diamond. Both of those hunts are starting to piss me off with how long they're taking.

-And STILL on the subject of Pokemon, I've got a little rant.
WARNING
THE FOLLOWING RANT IS FILLED WITH HATRED, ANGER, AND RAEG. THE MOST PASSION YOU HAVE EVER SEEN SOMEONE HAVE TOWARD POKEMON WILL BE IN SAID RANT. THIS RANT HAS A LITTLE AND A LITTLE , BUT MAINLY . LOTS AND LOTS OF . VIRGIN EYES (and ears for the voice inside your head) BE WARNED.

I FUCKING HATE GENWUNNERS! THEY ARE THE MOST ARROGANT, ELITIST, SNOTTIEST FUCKING CUNTWIPES ON THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN PLANET. THEY'VE BEEN WEARING THEIR FUCKING NOSTALGIA GOGGLES FOR SO LONG THEY HAVE BECOME INGRAINED ON THEIR FACE, AND REFUSE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THE LATER POKEMON GAMES (YEAH, GENS III-V) ARE ACTUALLY FUCKING GOOD!!! FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, PUT A GODDAMN TAMPON IN AND OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES! I mean, seriously. Alright, in that first bout of blind fury, I kind of got ahead of myself. For those of you that don't know, a genwunner is somebody who only likes the first 151 Pokemon (152 if you count MissingNo.), or sometimes the first 251, and then proceed to say that all the rest - yes, ALL THE REST - all 498 (or 398) others - are garbage. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Does that not already sound like the shittiest argument you've ever heard? But let's proceed.
The main argument they say is that all the other Pokemon are "unoriginal." Yeah, 'cuz we all know that Voltorb, Grimer, Rattata, Geodude, Eggsecute, Tentacool, Goldeen, Tangela, Diglett, Ekans, Tauros, Ponyta, and Caterpie are the fucking pinnacle of originality, right? Morons.
Then, they proceed to attack the dumbest-looking Pokemon from each generation, claiming that CLEARLY, this must mean that all the other hundred or so are stupid too. To counter this retarded argument, take a look at these bitches:

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/thumb/f/fa/445Garchomp.png/200px-445Garchomp.png

http://pldh.net/media/dreamworld/625.png

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2009/347/c/c/Absol_by_Xous54.png

http://img.pokemondb.net/artwork/scizor.jpg

And now these assholes:

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/thumb/1/17/109Koffing.png/200px-109Koffing.png

http://img.pokemondb.net/artwork/pidgey.jpg

http://img.pokemondb.net/artwork/slowpoke.jpg

http://cdn.bulbagarden.net/media/upload/thumb/4/4f/120Staryu.png/170px-120Staryu.png

And you tell me which ones look more original, or at the very least, badass. Here's a hint: if you even CONSIDERED siding with the latter, you're fucking stupid.
Another popular argument that has come up amongst these genwunners as of late is that the battling system has gotten “too complex,” and that the original was better because it was simpler. Like………...SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! THAT’S JUST FUCKING STUPID!!!!!! First of all, no one’s forcing you to take part in the more complex stuff. If you don’t feel like messing with EVs, IVs, abilities, natures, items, and the like, that’s fine. But DON’T be saying shit about how the original, 8-bit battle system, with its ridiculously overpowered Psychic types, all-too-common glitches, and (giggle) the fucking “Special” stat was superior. I mean, seriously, Amnesia was pretty much the best move in the entire game. It was a Calm Mind squared. Anything that was a special sweeper was also always a special wall. Since most Psychic types WERE special sweepers, and considering that the only weakness Psychic had in that generation was Bug, where the most powerful Bug move was Twineedle (which, on top of still being a shitty move, was only exclusive to Beedrill), the Psychic type was the very definition of “broken.” Give Mewtwo one Amnesia, and BAM. Nothing stops it. NOTHING. OTHER problems were:
1. Critical hits were based on Speed. A move with a high critical hit rate used by a Pokemon with even decent Speed would practically always land a critical.
2. If a multi-hit move like Fury Attack landed a critical hit, ALL the hits would be critical hits.
3. One-Hit KO moves like Fissure were ALSO based on Speed. This meant that they would practically never land because the only Pokemon that could learn them were really slow, bar Mew.
4. Moves like Wrap were arguably the best in the game. Your opponent can’t do jack shit while it’s being wrapped. If your Pokemon is faster, you’re all set. As soon as the opponent is free, just use Wrap again, and the whole fucking thing starts all over again.
5. Waking up from sleep was a turn all by itself. Again, if you were faster, every time the opponent wakes up, you can put it to sleep again free of charge because the game wastes an entire turn just to say “The foe’s _ woke up!”
6. Substitute. Jesus Christ, Substitute. Where do I begin? Alright: first of all, Substitute did not protect you from status infliction. Also, if the opponent’s Pokemon breaks your substitute using Selfdestruct or Explosion, it won’t die. If the opponent’s Pokemon breaks your substitute with Hyper Beam, it doesn’t need a recharge turn. If you use Substitute at exactly 25% HP, you’ll kill yourself.
You can view some other problems (believe, there are many) here: http://pokememes.memebase.com/2011/09/16/pokmon-got-problems-but-the-pokmon-aint-one/1st-gen-problems/
Last, but certainly not least in this tirade of hatred and fury, I want to cover another genwunner craze that really rustles my jimmies:
FUCKING. CHARIZARD. FANBOYS.
Oh, yeah, we’re going there. Fuck Arceus, fuck Deoxys, fuck Genesect, and fuck Rayquaza, Charizard is the God of genwunners. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Charizard, but these people practically have a fucking fetish for it. They often cite it as “the best Pokemon EVAR!!!” or “the only REAL Pokemon!!!” or some stupid shit like that. But I’m about to blow your shrivelled little mind: CHARIZARD IS NOT THAT FANTASTIC OF A POKEMON. It’s above mediocre, but that’s it. Its horrible typing gives it a 4x weakness to Stealth Rock, putting it at half health just when it switches in. Its “meh” defenses practically guarantee that it will go down with just a STAB neutral hit after Stealth Rock damage, and in your oh-so-beloved Generation 1, its Special stat was a measly 85, meaning that it couldn’t really utilize either of its STABs (as its only Flying-type move was Fly, and even then, it was only in Yellow), and its best move was fucking Slash. Pitiful. Yet, for some reason, it got #1 on IGN’s Top 100 Pokemon list?!
And to wrap this all up, I just want to let you know that I DON’T hate Gen 1. In fact, I love it. I grew up with it too, and it IS a very nostalgic generation to me, and every time I pick up my Blue version, I’m hooked on it for at least two hours. However, I accepted and embraced the newer generations, as the franchise only progressed and (strap yourselves in) advanced. Also, if Gen 1 was your favorite generation, that’s fine. Everyone has their favorites. If Charizard is your favorite Pokemon, that’s fine too. I’m just saying: there’s a GARGANTUAN difference between “favorite” and “best.”

-Well, now that THAT’s out of my system, let’s move on to TV. I don’t really watch a whole lot of TV, but I am really hooked on two at the moment: LOST and The Legend of Korra. Yeah, I know LOST ended, like, two years ago, but I missed the first season and never really got interested in it. That is, until that fateful day when I was browsing Netflix and just clicked on it on a whim. Now, I eagerly await every Friday when I can just stay up all night watching episodes. As of right now, I’m on Season 4. As for The Legend of Korra, I have just one thing to say: it’s fucking orgasmic. Although, I am disappointed that Book 2 doesn't start until...FUCKING 2013?!?!?!?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!?!?!?!?! GODDAMMIT!

-If you actually read this thing through and through, I award you ten homebaked cookies. An extra two and a half if you actually enjoyed my Pokemon rant.

• Message me and I’ll feel like my life is worth something.