I put that "Take ten years off" make-up on my 9 and a half year old brother. I don't know where he went, but it might explain why my mom got fat and is acting like a bitch, amirite?

....She ate him.

It could be fun to condition a child, through birth to the end of high school, to speak only in Shakespearean English, then release them to college and the rest of the world, amirite?
@happylooksgoodonyou Isn't that considered child abuse?

Only if you're beating them over the head with a copy of 'Macbeth'.

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb, amirite?

Hahaha I'm a girl and I measured to see how big my dick would be if I were a guy. Love this post

Girks: you sometimes wonder if guys talk about girls when they gather up.amirite?

Non-Girks: You want to know what the fuck a "Girk" is and whether or not you can buy one, amirite?

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in this world are chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be 1 of them. It's not me, so it could be my dad, my mom, my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Hao-Chang-Lee. But it's probably my brother Colin, amirite?
@956489

I think the polar bear accidentally ate a...JELLYfish.

Anonymous +69Reply
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in this world are chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be 1 of them. It's not me, so it could be my dad, my mom, my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Hao-Chang-Lee. But it's probably my brother Colin, amirite?
@BreakfastFan You're right; who cares if it's reposted or not, this joke is FUCKING ANCIENT. It's not much better than "Why did...

oh, and inb4 Zubat eating chips
inb4 Polarthebear shamelessly promoting one of his posts
inb4 anon telling Polarthebear that he's just jelly
inb4 Scrantoncity starting a big argument about how there's no proof that 1 in 5 people are Chinese

Girls are like apples on a tree. All the sluts are on the bottom of the tree, and they get more attention because they're easier to get to. Then all the girls at the top think there might be something wrong with them, but, in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right guy- the one that's willing to climb all the way up. amirite?

Then they take a nice big bite of you and throw you away.

Anonymous +61Reply
Girls are like apples on a tree. All the sluts are on the bottom of the tree, and they get more attention because they're easier to get to. Then all the girls at the top think there might be something wrong with them, but, in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right guy- the one that's willing to climb all the way up. amirite?
@952710

OMJeezus you R such a jrk i hoope you nevur gets a gurlfrend cuz U is just jelly of how awesum tis poss is bcus it iz a metufore that reel life worx ekactly liek tha and 1 day my prince charmin will find me and we wooll riyde off in2 teh sunset and liv happly evor aftr cuz just like dat is how reel lief works alsoos guys obvi dont caer aboot looks im gunna find a boyfdriend that lieks to fuck my personalitie and not mi vagina lol xoxo :) kthxbai !!!11one!!1 :DDDD

Girls are like apples on a tree. All the sluts are on the bottom of the tree, and they get more attention because they're easier to get to. Then all the girls at the top think there might be something wrong with them, but, in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right guy- the one that's willing to climb all the way up. amirite?

This made me think of the cabbage guy from avatar for some reason...

We all know someone who consumes oxygen and produces carbon dioxide, amirite?

Sorry, I only talk to plants.

Schools are banning the most ridiculous and petty things nowadays, amirite?
@annikarosee Hugging. And high fives. Not at my school specifically, but at others.

In sixth grade, they banned physical contact with each other, so we held a protest and sat on the curb yelling, "LET US TOUCH!"

They say Rome wasn't built in a day, well they haven't played Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, amirite?

You watch tobuscus, don't you?

Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters, perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire. amirite?
@ThisChick I fucking love you. XD

i love fucking you too!

sorry i have dyslexiahello smilie

Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell a jerk what you think. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Regret nothing. This is the way to live life, amirite?
@Prosopagnosia What I really don't get is why so many people voted "Yeah You Are" on this.

This site is mostly populated by girls who think they're deep, but they're not. It's similar to the people that only listen to the most obscure indie music thinking that it's so good that "common frat boys" won't appreciate its value, when in all reality, it's a load of shit.

Either that, or it's like that quote by B.o.B. that plagued Facebook a couple months ago. You know, that one about airplanes and shooting stars and MaKiNg♥A♥wIsH.