"It's okay. We're all going to die anyway," sounds a lot worse when you don't respawn, apparently.
"No! Not my face! NOT MY FACE!"
That, my friend, is where I come in. Along with Element 115.
Thanks, I suppose.
The story behind this is that I was the only zombie on Earth that actually attempted to start the apocalypse. I think.
I aimlessly wandered the streets of Paris that misty dawn, searching for victims and for my own end. I had fully expected about a hundred other zombies right behind me, perhaps not searching for death, but still itching to fight. Yet, I was the only zombie in the entire city. And before long, I realized that the city was ignoring me. It was disregarding me, with my incoherent babbling, screams of frustration, and repeated attacks on homeless people seemingly not causing a dent in anyone's day-to-day actions. Except the homeless people.
Finally, the police arrived. I was arrested just before I could deliver a death blow, and I was carted off to a holding cell. There, I waited. For what I waited, I did not know.
Soon after, the French courts put their first zombie on trial for assault. I was found guilty and sentenced to twenty years.
I smashed my head apart on the inside of the cell, dying quickly but respawning back at zombie base camp. By the time I got back, it was far too late. The 2012 Apocalypse Attempt had failed spectacularly.
You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout, I'm telling you why...
Santa Claus, and his bloody army, are coming to town! Eventually.
Hey, it COULD happen.
The sensation started when people were still terrible at burials. They thought people crawling out of their shitty graves (after they were buried alive) were the living dead.
The REAL fun began when Ununpentium was weaponized!
There's beauty and peace... unless you're a zombie. Mortals don't know how lucky they are.
It's difficult to see an upside to life when, no matter what path you take, you're given even greater punishment and even fewer rewards. I feel every day like my actions are futile. I predict more suffering, and more suffering is exactly what I get.
I usually have a new one by the time I go to sleep.
It's only a matter of time before the human flesh we consume is required to have an ingredients list included, as well as "CONTAINS WHEAT AND SOY. PROCESSED ON SHARED EQUIPMENT WITH TREE NUTS AND PEANUTS."
Yes. Food. Let's go get some.
The fight is never over. I never believed such a thing.
You're right. No one does.
Being a zombie, forced through innumerable lives and deaths to fight for a nonexistent, meaningless cause, with your only reward being the same pain and suffering you've endured for countless years... That's the worst job.