trackerjagker

It's difficult to hear people say, "Cheer up, you have so much to live for" when you're going through depression because it's not like suddenly I'll say, "You know what? You're totally right. I'm all cheered up now!", amirite?

This calls for a hotline!

Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

"FUCK AMERICA!!! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE RED WHITE AND BLUE!!!"
"...Uh, what?"

It's really awkward when every POTD this year has had the word "awkward" in it.

Amirite: the website where it's all made up and the points don't matter, amirite?
@1594303

No, here's how it would go:

Potential employer: "I see you have seven diamond achievements on Amirite."
Me: "Yes..."
Potential employer: "Excuse me while I take my clothes off."

Out of all of Santa's reindeer, the one that sounds most like a street name for crystal meth is all of them, amirite?

I can just see the headlines "Santa Claus and reindeers promotes Meth." Followed by a banning of the use of Santa Claus in the media and the congress voting Christmas a vegetable.

Out of all of Santa's reindeer, the one that sounds most like a street name for crystal meth is all of them, amirite?
@1539116

If the stranger needs somewhere to put their shit, tell them to TAKE THEIR CRAPS IN THE TOILET LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!!
Does it really get that intense that you have to shit on the one night-stand instead of taking five steps to the bathroom?

And doesn't that big steamy pile of shit next to you really kill the mood?

The quote "Love means never having to say you're sorry." is complete BS, amirite?

maybe not that, but a promise between friends means never having to give a reason

Smart People: Even if a post is obviously not addressed to you, you still read the rest of it. amirite?
@hehehe u fanni

I thought this post was for smart people.

When it comes to food, we've been teaching our kids that it's fine to eat things such as Gingerbread Men, Animal Crackers and Gummy Bears. Surely they'd grow up with more morals if we gave them something like Jelly Jailmates? 'Hey Timmy, what're you up to?' "Just biting the head off a convicted criminal, Dad!" 'Attaboy!' amirite?
@El_Duderino but i always make my animal crackers and gummi bears have make believe sex.

You could do the same with your Jailmate Jellies.

Rapist Ryan dropped the soap. Looks like Mike the Murderer's going to have a fun time!

Whatever you do in life, always give 100%... unless you're donating blood, amirite?

You should NEVER give 100% in anything you do because then

Xbox Gamertags: Proof why we aren't meant to name ourselves at birth. amirite?
No matter your age and martial status, the first time you know your parents know you've had sex is gonna be weird, amirite?

I dont see how being a black belt would make it any less awkward.....

Sodium and chlorine are going out now, how ionic! amirite?
Sodium and chlorine are going out now, how ionic! amirite?