+1,841"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse. amirite?
+1,111Wake up in the morning and my breath ain't pretty. And nobody's gonna kiss me if my mouth smells shitty. So I always brush my teeth before I start on the Jack. Sure, my drinking's out of hand but I'm controlling the plaque! amirite?