She thinks that every boy I look at/looks at me is DTF.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

every guy I talk to or even refer to, my mom thinks we are getting married next moth

by Anonymous 11 years ago

That's stupid. You're obviously getting married next butterfly.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

haha whoops, I didn't notice that

by Anonymous 11 years ago

@YeahIAm: That was a complete and utter win.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Especially the really old and creepy ones. She always forcefully grabs my arms and steers me in the opposite direction.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Me and my mom last week *She notices my phone, and nosily peeks through the picture* Mom:"...." "...whos this" me(preparing for a loud argument to ensue) "eh...its just Jessica, a friend" Mom:...*gasp* "Is she kissing you??" Me *fml* " no, its nothinging. Just a picture" Mom: flipping throughh the photos, becoming more and more crazed. "just exactly who is the hussy?! Oh my god, have you had your first kiss??!" Me: (apparently, picking the wrong answer): "yes, mom. I'm in high school. Its not uncommon. I trust you, I am not a man whore or a pimp of any sort. Mom:Holy shit omfg!!! How could you, your so young! Don't do nasty stuff, stay pure. I love you, don't do this!" Me:(yet again, picking the wrong answer)." its not that big of a deal, your overreacting" Mom: Omfg, -nuclear reaction- everyone dies The end*certain scenes may have been dramatized or exaggerated to produce a more enjoyable experience for the audience"

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Yep. I believe our moms would be good friends. I was trying on dresses once for a formal dance, and when I stepped out of the dressing room she screamed. "CARSHAYD OMG YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE 21! TAKE IT OFF! NOW!!!! I CAN'T SEE MY BABY GIRL AS AN ADULT!" Then I told her I was dating someone and she started crying. >.<

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Haha my mom is the total opposite! At 14 I got my first boyfriend and she casually made a doctor's appointment to get me birth control like okay.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

That's... woah. Your mother is so chill.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

...That's one hell of a awesome mother.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

That's how my mom was. I didn't really want to go on the pill, but I decided to go with it cuz it helps with cramps and it made my mom feel safe.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Even though in reality it's pretty much the opposite.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

And rightly so.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

"Why don't you ask Christian out?" "Because I don't want to?" "Mmhmm." "And he wouldn't want me to?" "MMHMM." "And we're really good friends?" "MMMMMMHMMMMMMM."

by Anonymous 11 years ago

That was my second grade logic.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I don't have many male friends, so whenever I talk to/hang out with one of them my family freaks out like it's the end of the world. Never mind the fact that one of them is gay and the other one lives nearly an entire state away from me -_-

by Anonymous 11 years ago

My mom does that all the time! It's awkward cause I'm gay *facepalm*

by Anonymous 11 years ago

My mom has herself completely convinced that she raised three of the best-looking kids in the world. Whenever I mention a female name she automatically assumes that it's a girl who is desperately chasing after me because I'm "such a handsome young man". No, mom, believe it or not, there's no long line of people waiting for get with me and there never will be OK?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

And every guy I hang out with, I'm going to his house to have sex.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

My mom was completely against me hanging out with a new male friend until she saw him and learned he's that sweet, geeky brand of adorable. Now she makes kiss noises every time my phone rings, keeps asking when I'm going to see him again, and wants to put me on birth control despite the fact I'm asexual and more than old enough to take care of that myself.

by Anonymous 11 years ago