Of course theres a enormously obese pedophile who sneaks into peoples houses and steals cookies and milk and occasionally molest a unsuspecting child and give false hope that presents are because they've been good. Oh, and he also lives up in Antartica where even eskimos are scarce nowadays with a giant industrial factory that labors thousands if not millions of "elves", or druggies, to mass produce simple toys for a payment of survival. There are electrical fences and rabid raindeers that attack any stray elf. Beartraps, tripwires, security guards with snipers, barbed fences, 20 foot deep trenches hidden by a thin layer of grass and snow, wolves, polar bears, and the unbearable freezing climate of the relatively unlivable conditions that make up the frozen tundras are abundant. Global warming is a grand scheme perpetrated by the elves who wish to melt the ice so that the may escape the chronological and inevitable slavery forced upon them to create toys for "deserving" or "targeted" children deemed fit by the harbinger of merriment, Pedobear, who also acts as a financial and corrupt adviser for Santa, for the rest of their natural lives. Of course he's real.

by Anonymous 12 years ago