-205 If you cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend, but regret it and wish it never happened, you shouldn't tell because admitting to it will weaken your relationship and the only person who benefits from it is you. You made the mistake, now you need to live with the guilt, amirite?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

If your really care about them that much then you should tell them. Not that you will, because not many people can truthfully work up the courage to do so.... but if they matter that much to you then they deserve to know. Unless they're one of those people who freak out about every single tiny thing, like over-cooked pasta sauce. Then don't. ;)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I don't think they want to know. People would rather live in ignorance and think everything is fine. If there's no way they will find out, keep it to yourself. Unless you WANT to sabotage your relationship, then go ahead and tell your partner.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Because lying, being unfaithful, and a whore won't sabotage your relationship. I'd rather him tell me so at least he'll earn honesty brownie points. I'm gonna find out eventually.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I was in this situation also and my boyfriend told me about it right away and although it sucked we are trying to work through it but I don't know if things are ever going to be the same but i give him a lot of credit for telling me right away when he was planning on keeping it to himself.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

A girl can forgive cheating faster than lying. And it will show her that she can trust you to tell the truth in the future.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

HAHAHAHAHAHA NO. Hell no. Because, somehow, they'll find out on their own, and then you're screwed for cheating and keeping it a secret and thinking they weren't smart enough to find out. And then they'll hate you for the rest of your life.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

If you had sex, especially unprotected, fucking tell him/her.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Ok, that's the first legitimate counter-argument someone has made so far.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I disagree that the only person who would benefit from the cheater being honest about their infidelity would be them. They'd be benefiting from not telling - they would be the ones who get away with their wrongdoing, avoiding the consequences just because they've decided that their own guilt is punishment enough. That's not fair at all. If you're stupid enough to cheat on someone you love, you deserve whatever they feel is appropriate, AS WELL as your own guilt. I personally would want to know - I would hate to think that I spent a year of my life with someone who'd cheated on me. I would feel so robbed of my time and love. People who justify not being honest about cheating by saying that they regret it or feel guilty are just selfish.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I personally believe that the cheater IS benefitting from telling them. Especially if the cheater knew he/she made a huge mistake and wants to move past the infidelity. Why does a cheater tell? Because the cheater feels so awful and guilty and they want to let everything out in the open, so they won't have this heavy, awful secret with them. They know they'll feel better after admitting to cheating, even when the relationship gets tested. That's why I think it's a selfish thing to do. But people always say, I would want to know if I was cheated on. But if you never knew, and you never found out, and it was a one time thing that your partner kept to him/herself to the grave, would that really be so bad?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Yeah, I agree that it would benefit the cheater to an extent, but by not telling they'd also benefit in some ways. There's benefits for both sides. I guess this whole thing is pretty circumstantial, but when it comes down to it I think it's just selfish to keep something like that to yourself. It's not fair for someone to be unfaithful but decide that they love their partner and want to stay with them. If you respect the person your with, you should tell them so that they can decide how they feel - for some people it's a deal breaker, others can work past it. It would benefit both people the most if it was out in the open. Having said that, I can agree with you in that if it was a one off and it was taken to the grave it wouldn't be so bad ... but how can someone predict how things are going to turn out? It's still a pretty big risk.

by Anonymous 12 years ago