I don't look down on anyone that has sex, really. If you want to sleep around with guys, more power to you. It's not my life, and I'm not the one that's probably going to get an STD.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I want to think like that. However, i guess im still an innocent kid who can't not think about others.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"and I'm not the one that's probably going to get an STD." Nope, you don't look down on the sexually active at all.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't understand how that's looking down on them. If you're sexually active with multiple partners, you have a higher chance of getting an STD. I could see how you could take that the wrong way. I was speaking about people that sleep around with lots of people at one time, not people that are sexually active in general.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Personally, I'm in a long term monogamous relationship and have only had sex with one person and I intend to only have sex with that one person. I just thought you meant all sex in general, which would apply to me. But since it doesn't, I retract my previous statement. I think everyone, even other whores, look down on the sexually promiscuous.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

And if the other person cheats? It's like flood gates. Once one of you cheats, the person with whom he/she cheated is another way for an STD toget into a relationship. And everyone the cheater's cheating partner has had sex with also comes into the equation, until potentially thousands of people are involved. (note 'potentially' before you start flaming me)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I won't flame you. Everyone has the potential to cheat, but if we were all so scared of the other person cheating no one would ever have sex, not even married couples. Whenever people commit themselves to one person for the rest of their lives they take that risk. But committed, adult relationships where you plan on being together forever (not those stupid high school, "we've been together for a whole year so we'll be together forever" relationships) require that you trust your partner to that extent.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I meant like until your REALLY together. Like with God as your witness or at least engaged. Not when you're just exclusive bf/gf.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

With the divorce rates as high as they are engagement doesn't mean as much as it used to. In my state, my girlfriend and I cannot be more than exclusive girlfriends anyway. We work with what we got. Besides, you can REALLY be together without "God as you witness" and without being engaged. Some couples don't believe in God. Other couples don't want to get married. You can be committed for life without a piece of paper saying you're stuck together.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I've heard all this before or sitcoms. For most couples, engagement is the next level after exclusive, and that's only the second level. For couples who don't want to get married, I'd say you just take the equivalent of engagement, like when you decide to never get married.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You mean when you decide to never break up?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Yeah, that's it. Of course, you still can like in a normal marriage, but its harder. Also you're not supposed to cheat (hence the term, cheating), but it's just less likely that your fiancee cheats than your bf/gf. It's also even less likely that your spouse cheats. Consider that most dating periods rarely last more than 2-3 years, engagements last 1-2 years and marriages can last over 70 years.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Those relationships last longer, but people still cheat. Some people never get caught. Sometimes if someone gets caught they work it out. Being married in no way makes it less likely for a person to cheat. Cheating is a personal choice that can be made by anyone, at any time, for any reason. A married person is just as likely to cheat as someone who has been dating someone for a year. Marital status does not change who a person is. Marriages don't last nearly as long as they used to simply because of the high rates of infidelity.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Many people who'd be willing to cheat are not considered marriage material. Also, the risk of cheating is much greater (half you stuff) that before marriage, so some dishonest people still try not to cheat.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Just because someone isn't "marriage material" doesn't mean they won't get married. Married people cheat just as often as non-married people. Having sex in a committed, life long relationship is no different than having sex within marriage. They could still cheat and give you AIDS. That's the risk everyone takes when they have sex.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Wow...I didn't know there were still people out there like that. I mean, I believe in monogamous relationships and abstinence until marriage,(it's one of the ethics I hold onto strongly) but after the amount of people I've met that aren't like that, I just kind of felt most people weren't like that... It's nice to know there are still people out there like me.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm not a fan of abstinence until marriage. I just believe in abstinence until you're either a.) In a monogamous, committed relationship or b.) able to understand and own up to the possible consequences. Honestly, I think if people didn't cheat they could still have sex with more than one person in their lives in the chances of a breakup. If people didn't cheat and got STD tested before they started a new sexual relationship there would be little need to worry about STD epidemics like we do now.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't look down on the sexually promiscuous. I try very hard not to judge people on their sexuality

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Maybe sexually promiscuous was the wrong phrase. Would it have been better if I said people who have a lot of unprotected sex knowing that they probably have an STD and are spreading the disease without warning their partner? That would be pretty low by even the most sexually liberated person's standards.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Then sex isn't the issue at all. Having sex isn't wrong, putting someone's life in danger by exposing them to dangerous diseases (sexually transmitted or otherwise) is clearly wrong. Having a lot of sex can be perfectly fine as long as you take the necessary precautions to stay safe, healthy, and honest.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That's not true. I'm in a committed monogamous relationship, never slept around or had a one night stand etc but I don't look down on people who do, they're not hurting anyone if they wear protection and get checked.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

In my mind I was thinking about the people who don't use protection and knowingly spread diseases. That's what I think when I think about a whore or promiscuous person. Someone can have all the casual sex they want and not be considered a whore in my eyes unless they knowingly spread diseases or frequently cheat on someone they're with.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What if the person who goes around having sex always wears/requires the guy to wear a condom? They won't get an STD then...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

What if the condom breaks?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

They //won't// get an STD? It's still possible. The more people you sleep with, the higher their chances of getting one. People should be able to fuck and be happy, just be aware of the possible consequences.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

If you verify that each of your partners has no STDs before you have sex with him/her, you're chances of getting an STD will stay at approximately 0.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Honestly, do you think a girl that sleeps around with tons of guys is going to check every single one of them? It's probably drunk sex anyway. But hey, maybe someone does do that. I said plenty of times that I don't care what people do as long as they're happy, so anyone can do whatever practice they feel comfortable with. And I like how you loved pikabeau's above comment when she took it out of context..O.o

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't see how you can claim you //don't// look down on people who are sexually active, yet you make comments such as "it's probably drunk sex anyway" and "I'm not the one that's probably going to get an STD"...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You're taking what I said out of context. I'm not talking about the sexually active in general; I'm talking about people with TONS of partners. If you read above comments, you would know that. If you have multiple partners, the higher your chances of getting an STD. If I have one, maybe 2, sexual partners my whole life my chances of contracting an STD are substantially lower than someone with 5-10+ partners. You act like I'm calling people with multiple partners whores, sluts, or low lives, which would be looking down on them.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I did read your comments, and I'll take back the STD one because if the person //isn't// careful, yea, they're more likely to get and STD. The drunk sex one hit hard, though... What if the person has had various significant others (at different times), and had sex with most, if not all, of them? That's not drunk sex, nor is it whoreish/slutty.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

With the drunk sex statement: most people I hear of that sleep with many partners have sex after they meet that at a club, they're drunk, and have a one night stand. I kind of feel bad about saying that now because it's a little stereotypical. Those are the types of people that will //most likely// contract an STD because, chances are, they're not gonna check if the person their sleeping with has an STD if they're shit-faced. Of course it's not slutty if they've had significant partners.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Okay, I was just clearing that up... I see how you're not looking down on them. Sorry for any confusion.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"Honestly, do you think a girl that sleeps around with tons of guys is going to check every single one of them? It's probably drunk sex anyway." Wow. That was pretty judgmental. Just because a woman has a lot of sex does not mean that she is irresponsible, unintelligent, and drunk. Most women with a prolific sex life are responsible intelligent people who can take care of themselves.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I never said they were irresponsible or unintelligent. As for the drunk statement: "Most people I hear of that sleep with many partners have sex after they meet that at a club, they're drunk, and have a one night stand. I kind of feel bad about saying that now because it's a little stereotypical. Those are the types of people that will //most likely// contract an STD because, chances are, they're not gonna check if the person their sleeping with has an STD if they're shit-faced." " Most women with a prolific sex life are responsible intelligent people who can take care of themselves." From what I hear of and from my own experiences, they're not.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Drunk one night stands at night clubs is certainly not how most sex works. I mean usually it happens after at least a few dates. I'm just speculating. I don't have any data in front of me. But I just don't think random one night stands account for the majority of most people's sex lives.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Or frequently gets checked for STDs/STIs? If you and your partner both get tested for STDs beforehand, you'll know if there is any danger of getting an STD/STI.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

and why just "sleep around with guys"?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't look down on anyone, but i nw'd because I still dont think it's "ok" or any better

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't look down on anyone who's having sex. It's their decision, just like choosing not to is my choice.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't look down on people having sex; I do look down on whores and cheaters.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

By whore do you mean sex worker or some one who has a lot of sex?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

There's really no difference between people who have sex and didn't use protection and people who have sex and don't use protection. The bottom line is they had sex. Whether or not they used protection is irrelevant.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

There's no difference because they both didn't use protection. I think you meant there is not difference in those who do and don't use protection because they still had sex. I disagree. Sex with a condom is different than sex without a condom.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A person who uses protection when they don't want a pregnancy or STD probably has a much safer, healthier, and more responsible sex life than someone who has sex without taking the necessary precautions.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Believe it or not, the depression and suicide rates are actually higher among people who have sex before they're married.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Higher expectations

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Ahaha okay

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why would you remain abstinent? It's fucking stupid.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Because I am 13 years old, and I actually want to do something with my life. At this point, sex of any kind (excluding rape) will ruin your life.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That is singlehandedly the dumbest thing I've ever read. Tell me, how will having NATURAL, LEGAL, FUN, CONSENTUAL, AND SAFE SEX ruin your life as opposed to ILLEGALLY, NON CONSENTUALLY, PAINFULLY, UNSAFELY, AND VIOLENTLY RAPING SOMEONE OR GETTING RAPED. If you say ANYTHING about religion I will find your I.P. track it to your house and violently ass rape you (so I don't ruin your life, look how good of a person I am) and then beat the shit out of you. Could I please have someone with any measure of intelligence in the abstinent community to argue with?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Sorry, I meant to say that when you are 13, any sex will ruin a thirteen year olds lfe. I accidentally typed that part about rape, my bad. Shoot me. Anyways, its no big deal if I decide not to have sex when I am older. You act like it's the end if the world if you don't have sex.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

At this stage, it wouldn't be right for you to be having sex. You're 13. Wait till you're older, and you'll probably change your mind about abstinence.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I might, I might not. But you guys need to remember that in order to have sex, you need somebody to have it with. And seeing as most guys in the general vicinity seem to think that I am horribly ugly. Sex? Please. No boyfriend or friend with benefit in sight. Don't flame me, that was a rant.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

How will it ruin your life?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

1 - if my parents find out, they're dead. 2 - I found it difficult to concentrate on school when I was in a relationship this year. If I was having sex? Oh god. I would totally lose sight of the scholarship I have in mind.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Idiot. I honestly wasn't expecting stupidity on such a shocking level. I thought you were going to give me a real reason such as "I might get an untreatable S.T.D." or "If her or my parents don't consent than I could be charged with statutory rape and be a registered sex offender for the rest of my life." Here are the reasons you shouldn't represent abstainers: 1) You're using abstinence as an excuse because you can't get laid or so you can be on your high horse and judge us or you just are because you can't think for yourself and everyone has told you sex is "dirty". 2) You're a hypocrite, because has soon has I questioned the most holy practice of abstinence, you went all "SO I WON'T RUIN MY LIFE YOU HEATHEN!" 3) The most important of reasons, YOU'RE THIRTEEN! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! This begs the question, "How old am I?" I'm fourteen, and I'm allowed to say that you don't know anything because I acknowledge that I don't know anything and I make a better arguement for abstinence than you. Being fourteen means I don't make major life decisions because I'M FOURTEEN AND I HAVEN'T EXPERIENCED ENOUGH LIFE TO MAKE LIFE ALTERING DECISIONS! I'm going to argue with Naggs, he's smart.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why are you going all ape shit if I don't want to have sex? maybe I have been raised a different way than you. THAT'S OKAY. maybe I have different opinions than you. THAT'S OKAY. Is something else going on in your life? because a normal person wouldn't freak out THIS MUCH over something so little. To answer everything you just said: Stupidity? maybe I value education over sex. Not a big deal. I have different priorities. I'm freaking thirteen years old. I wouldn't have the risk of being charged with statuary rape, being I'm not an 18 year old having sex with somebody who is 17 or younger. I thought we were past mentioning STD's, so i didn't mention them, assuming that a smart, able, well-educated 14 year old like YOU would be able to assume so. 1) Okay. I'm going to ignore that insult and pretend I didn't read that. Maybe, I'm just too young and I believe that I don't want to have sex, because I am motherfucking thirteen years old. Not because it's dirty. Maybe I will have it later in life. I want to save it for marriage, because I will have other, more important priorities beforehand. 2) Abstinence is holy. but I'm not doing it for religion. I'm doing it for me. 3)Just be....

by Anonymous 12 years ago

3) just because you are older does not mean you have better judgement. Are you having sex? That would make you somebody who has insight on the other side of the argument. Are you abstaining? That would make you somebody who is ON MY SIDE of the argument, not somebody who is insulting those younger than her/him in an attempt to make them go away and shut up. I have a different life than you. I have a different personality than you. I have had different experiences than you. I have different opinions than you. That does NOT give you the right to call me stupid, just because you're an older person who thinks that one year will make all the difference. In some cases it will, others it won't. But unless you have had an amazing, life-changing experience between your thirteenth and fourteenth birthday PERTAINING to sex, you have absolutely no right to say that.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't think you get the point, I'm not yelling at you because you're abstinent, I'm yelling at you because you're retarded. Statutory rape is that because you're a minor and under the legal age of consent, your parents own you. Ergo, if they don't consent with a girl having sex with you, it would be like rape to them you dolt. It's not just for an eighteen/seventeen year old relationship. So how about you learn about what the fuck you're talking about before you talk about it? I honestly don't give a flying fuck about abstainers, if you want to blue ball yourself, go right ahead. What I do give a fuck about is idiots like you, because whenever someone says: "You don't look down on (insert group here)" I get mad, because I know there's a prick behind that statement, and I'm going to go argue with him. You know what that statement implies? Oh my God, look at what a good open minded person I am over these buffoons that clearly are not doing what they should be, but I won't look down on them because I'm such a good person. You were right about you're response to my third point, get this clear.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

AS SOMEONE WHO CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH GAMBLING, TOBACCO, ALCOHOL, GUNS, VOTING AND DRIVING, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD EITHER OF US BE TRUSTED WITH MAKING DECISIONS THAT WILL CHANGE THE REST OF OUR LIVES FOREVER? When I'm twenty one I'll start making decisions about marriage and having kids and religion and politics, because I'll be completely on my own. Before that I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AND NEITHER DO YOU. Get that through your god damn face you insufferable imbecile! You know why you couldn't concentrate on your grades in a relationship? BECAUSE YOU'RE THIRTEEN AND YOU HAVEN'T MATURED ENOUGH YET FOCUS ON YOUR GRADES AND YOUR GIRL FRIEND! Say you're out of college, no more grades and you could fuck whoever you want without consequences. Besides, as a thirteen year old, it really doesn't matter about you abstaining or not. If any thirteen year old has gotten laid then they're an over achiever and I will give them one hundred dollars. So really, you could say you weren't abstaining and nothing would be different at all because you're thirteen. God I hate people.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

umadbro? i keed, i keed. I didn't mean for the post to have that sort of implications. If you took it that way, then sorry, that's not what I meant. Do not put words in my mouth. You are going beyond the debate and calling me names, which is not what you're supposed to do when debating. I'm going to back out so that you can take your anger out on somebody else who is older and can handle it. to end this, you are smart. you won, you are great. you are smart. you are the best person on this website. you rock. I am stupid. I will always be stupid. I will never get laid. You are amazingly hot and you probably get all the guys. You win.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

As a 17 year old who is abstaining from sex, I am doing for religious reasons, however logistically speaking, I will continue to be abstinent until marriage because I do not believe that the benefits outway the consequences. I feel that when you abstain and your partner abstains that when you finally come together it is a beautiful thing and your virginity is a very valuable thing. Many people do not take into consideration the affects f having sex with people outside a commuter monogamous relationship does to you, because the act itself is so intimate and not to mention the hormones that are released after sex (specifically for women) makes them want to bond with the person that they've had sex with

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Of* commited*

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I totally respect the choice you have made about your sexuality and your religious views about the concept of virginity. However, I don't believe the part about hormones making women want to bond with their sexual partner. I mean, I'm sure some women and men might feel that way, but I really doubt it's a proven scientific correlation. Until I see some convincing scientific data to back that up, I'm calling BS.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm.  It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes. "  Just google oxytocin, women's body often release it after childbirth and that's what creates the child/mother bond.  You physically want to be closer to people after you've had sex. That's why girls always want to cuddle 

by Anonymous 12 years ago

From what I've read, it seems to just make people want to cuddle for longer not really bond emotionally or develop in a long term committed relationship.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I think rape would ruin your life to. Also, it's not sex that ruins your life, it's the possible consequences of sex.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Sorry, I didn't mean to type the art about rape.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You also have to take in the fact that you're 13. When I was 13 I wasn't thinking about sex at all and thought I would be a VTM but I've been in a committed relationship for three years (and by the way I'm in high-school and teenage relationships really can work out) and my perspective changed. If you really love someone and are committed to them there's nothing wrong with sex and it most certainly will not ruin your life.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Exactly, but the thing is, my parents don't have as open a mind as yours probably do, so it would most definitely ruin my life.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why would you be talking to your parents about your sex life? I know you're supposed to ask them questions about sex to be prepared and stuff, but that doesn't mean you have to tell your parents you're having sex. Most parents do not want their children having sex. I know you don't want to be judged by your age, but you don't seem to know as much about this as older people.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Of course I know nothing about this except the bare minimum. I probably come off as naive to you old folks XD

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I understand that you don't feel ready for sex right now. That's totally normal and healthy at any age. However, lot's of people have sex earlier in life and turn out just fine. Having sex won't stop you from doing all the cool things you want to do in your life. Sex won't ruin your life. Rape, however, might. I don't know why you said rape wouldn't ruin your life because it would do you far more damage than consensual sex.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Yeah, I meant to TYpe that consensual sex is fine. And rape will affect your life.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Because they want too? and it's really fucking stupid to say not having sex is stupid.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm 15 and my school has an IB block on the same campus. I go to an all boy school with a branch of the school with 17-18 year old girls, and I still want to abstain. STD seriously freak me out.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't look down on people who have sex, but I look down on people who judge others for not having sex. I respect your life choices; why not respect mine?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Since this convo is so long I'll reply to the top part. This may come as a shock to most people and I'm sure I'll get flamed for it but I don't care because everybody acts like sex is one of the most important things to becoming an adult or to having a relationship. I abstained until I was 21 (I'm 22 now and yes i realize im one of the oldest people on this site), and i didnt have sex because of religious reasons, because nobody wanted to have sex with me, i had lots of people pressure me and guys try to the point they were practically forcing themselves on me. I waited because i wanted my first to be with a guy I TRUSTED and LOVED to the point I saw a Long term relationship with them. i am so happy i waited because i am with the most incredible guy and he knows i have no baggage from previous relationships, no STDs, no comparisons to make with him. So for anybody out there who is feeling pressured or feeling unwanted and thinking sex will get guys to like you, just remember guys wont like you more for having sex. If a guy likes you he'll wait, so you too should wait until you really like a guy. You never forget your first, so make sure it's someone you don't regret losing it too.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

people can do whatever they want with their lives. for me, im waiting. but for another person they're not. its no big deal..if it doesn't affect you, you really shouldn't care that much.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Guys, I made this post to prove that not all abstainers look down upon people who have sex, because I found that many people on this website who have sex, seem to think this, an it's not true.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm on the fence, but it's just obnoxious with my friend. She's on the pill and still freaks out. Because it's not 100% effective. And every time she tells me about the little bloodstains on her underwear she occasionally gets (couple times a month), it's actually her dead baby's remains that detatched from her thin, thin uterin lining.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Ugh. Really? Is that even possible?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

No that is not true at all : | you can read my reply at the bottom to show how it really works.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Sometimes being on the pill can cause bleeding or spotting in between periods. It's totally normal and harmless. You might want to tell your friend that so she stops freaking out. Or not.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I think you have quite a few things confused. First of all most oral contraceptives prevent an egg being released, because they contain estrogen (most contraceptive pills contain estrogen and progesterone, some pills only contain progesterone and they don't stop an egg being released they work in other ways). The pills prescribed for acne treatment like your friend contain estrogen, but they can cause breakthrough bleeding due to hormonal fluctuations. The body is pre-programmed to make certain estrogen levels each day and the estrogen are responsible for regulating uterine shedding. Therefore, when new levels of hormones enter the body through oral contraceptives, the body is provided with two ways to receive estrogen. These excess estrogen levels can cause pre-period bleeding (bleeding through). This should be regulated in several months. You said that it happens a few times a month? Which even if she was on one of the pills that do not stop ovulation couldn't happen because you only release one egg a month so it would be impossible to fertalise that many times.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You're a fucking retard and you need to be shot. The contraceptive pill isn't an abortion pill you stupid fuck, if you're already pregnant and you take one, it won't kill your baby. Holy fuck Americans are dumb.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Umadbro?

by Anonymous 12 years ago