Most people's sense of confidence in social interactions comes from their appearance, amirite?

This isn't an unpopular opinion, it's very truthful.

by Wbecker 1 week ago

And yet, some people will read all of what OP typed out and still say, "It has nothing to do with being attractive. You just need to have more confidence." Kinda hard to gain confidence when you're an unattractive person who gets rejected, dismissed, ignored, made fun of, and doesn't have anywhere near the amount of advantages and benefits that attractive people have in the social pool.

by AssociateSevere 1 week ago

I think it is unpopular because most people think that even if you try to be friendly, funny, outgoing, interesting that it will make people accept you socially even if you're ugly.. but it's never really worked in my experience

by wstrosin 1 week ago

I don't think most people would say that

by Montyhand 1 week ago

You're tapping into a very real phenomenon that many social psychologists and sociologists have studied; the "halo effect," where the physical attractiveness of a person can affect how others perceive their other qualities, such as intelligence, kindness, and sociability. This bias can certainly influence social dynamics and interactions in the ways you've described. IMO, changing societal norms about beauty and who gets to be seen as "desirable" or "likable" is a slow process, influenced heavily by media and popular culture. Supporting media that showcases diverse types of beauty and stories can help shift these perceptions.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Yep.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Quite true.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

... I didn't expect people to agree with this lol can you share your experiences with your own appearance? and how you think you're perceived due to your appearance compared to someone else who's more ugly or attractive

by wstrosin 1 week ago

Meh I guess, I have gaps in my teeth but I know I'm smart and fairly clever so even if someone is looking at then I tend to ignore it. I also smoked in my 20s so they have a slight yellow tint but whatever. I have confidence cuz I believe I'm a genuinely good person and family man and nobody's opinion really matters outside of my wife and kids. Are people superficial? Yes. Can you overcome that by just being an unapologetic you? Yeah. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise

by gdeckow 1 week ago

I get having gaps can make you feel more unattractive and it allows you to be able to relate to the experience of being ugly somewhat, but I don't think it can actually make someone ugly to the point they're written off ugly so you're lucky in that sense Being a good person and family man is good and it's good you have the support of your family, but I want to point out for someone who is ugly and genuinely those things, other's might not care and will still treat them badly Thank you for acknowledging the point I think being comfortable in your own skin is good, but very difficult to do when you're ugly and essentially written off as a person completely just for being ugly I don't think it will ever make people like or respect or include you like average looking people seem to be born with

by wstrosin 1 week ago

You're right, and it's sad. I'm married and have 6 kids, the best we can do is raise them not to be so superficial as to judge a book by its cover. I know my kids will get my dental challenge and yes I'll pay to have it fixed so they don't have to deal with what I did. We are also raising them to understand that who someone is matters more than what they look like. It sucks that people use the word so loosely but there is beauty in everyone. Ugliness/beauty should come from the inside, not by how someone hit a genetic lottery.

by gdeckow 1 week ago

I am a charismatic and confident speaker yet I am not known for my physical attractiveness.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Shows how society and people place your physically attractiveness at the forefront and you portably wouldn't even be perceived as a charismatic or confident speaker if you were ugly .. so in that sense being ugly can even hinder you from actualizing your passions and full potential

by wstrosin 1 week ago

I have a dad bod lol. I don't think dad bods are conventionally attractive. All you have to do to be good at speaking is knowing how to articulate your words. Sure being attractive might help but it is not a necessity by any means. If anything thinking you need to be attractive actually hinders your ability to speak, since you focus more on your physical aesthetic rather than your communication skills.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Dad bods aren't conventionally attractive but what I've noticed when it comes to social interactions is your facial appearance if youre bigger but have a face that isn't ugly you wont be treated as harshly

by wstrosin 1 week ago

Eh, I'm still standing by my take that you don't need to be attractive at all to be a good speaker. You just need to be good at communication, which anyone can do regardless of appearance.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I agree with you you can be good at communicating but it wont matter if people are put off by your appearance that they dont care to hear what you have to say and dont take you seriously

by wstrosin 1 week ago

Probably because these things aren't "ugly" factors, they're health factors. If you're ugly but clean and not visibly rotting/smelling, it wouldn't matter to me. But humans are hardwired to be disgusted by the sight of disease for a reason- to protect ourselves.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

well yeah the rotted teeth was just to add a level of severity to the case but lets take that out of the equation. Let's say their face was just receded and still had bruxism because that's how they were born.. at that point it's not necessarily a health related factor or something in their control you know and people will still mistreated them simply because they're facially repulsive But it's good that you would still accept them, but I noticed most people wouldn't It's kinda unfair too because I'm not diseased and just had an injury to my face that cause my jaw and chin to be asymmetrical now I have to face bullying and social ostracism

by wstrosin 1 week ago

Then I'd be fine with em. I know how society views these types of folks , I just personally like them I understand ur pain

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I feel like this is true and not unpopular I get away with things because how I look. I won't dispute that, but at the same time I have never seen a person who is ugly try to be outgoing as a test, the guys I know who consider themselves ugly just simply don't try, so when I approach people they ask what I say. I tell them I don't know or remember because I took a year or two of my life going out with the soul goal of connecting and learning about various peoples so its a blur to me now and more of a reflex to approach someone. If your super ugly like hideous them you will 100% be shunned in some way from others although most people are average and just don't practice. I've also gotten ew, no, why are you talking to me, or leave me the f alone. All a part of the process tho

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This is sadly true.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Well I agree with you for the most part but there are also occasions where someone is conventionally attractive but may not do well socially for whatever reason. So initially they may get all the attention but that soon tapers off when they talk. As well, if someone has a large, outgoing personality and is funny but is "ugly", they can attract a huge group of friends. So there are exceptions.

by Square-Condition-559 1 week ago

I can only speak from my own experience but for me this is not the case. I have a nice body but an ugly face and I never felt that people don't like me as a person because of it. I'm an extrovert, talkative and mostly confident and I have no problem talking to people, or have them initiate a convo. I make friends easily and get treated nice by strangers and friends, so I really don't feel my looks hold me back in that regard. And before you come for me and tell me I'm not ugly/have a warped self image: I'm female and I literally NEVER get hit on, flirted with, catcalled or anything like that. Men usually treat me like I'm one of them and while I might not be the most feminine woman, I'm also not a tomboy.

by Emmetfriesen 1 week ago