I genuinely don't know how to give advice outside of the framework of what I would do in the situation. I can't with a good conscience give advice I myself wouldn't use. Because it's bad advice from my perspective.

by Boehmkade 1 week ago

Putting yourself in another person's shoes is literally the first step to empathizing with someone.

by Ill-Worry 1 week ago

Agreed. It's also in the literal definition.

by aron28 1 week ago

Empathy ? What is that? I think you are just making things up.

by Any-Breakfast-2364 1 week ago

Hey that's a really interesting opinion. Now let me tell you about my unpopular opinion on something…

by Maleficent_Taste_780 1 week ago

You miss the most important part they are always the victim. I cheat, but I stole, but. I also have 500 mental problems that excuse my behavior .No person will come here and say it 100% at fault for how my life turned out . Also, you choose to come and write your story .

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You may or may not realize this....but you just described Howard Stern

by Competitive-Gene 1 week ago

I don't empathize. 'Here is how I negotiated this problem' That's the best you're going to get from me. I am not here to share empathy. I am here to share strategy.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think you're right. I don't think giving someone else they advice you would need in that scenario is self inserting or bad, it's just realistic. Most people have a really hard time juggling all the things you mentioned. I'd take it even further that most people think they have empathy, but they actually can only imagine a feeling if they can relate it something they've been through. Ie. addicts are way more compassionate to addicts than they are non addicts. Non addicts are less to addicts. We are more compassionate to someone who's been in a place we relate to. Being able to take all the feelings you've felt in your life and imagine how if feels to lose a parent when you haven't, is really hard.

by AdLogical3680 1 week ago

Its true that people tend to squeeze people into their shoes, and its also true that you can only reference from your own experience. I don't think its wrong to reference your experience to give advice, but pretending their value systems, goals, and shoes are the same as yours when you give advice is extremely common and unhelpful

by InnerAd8639 1 week ago

Most people are completely unaware of their own values goals and beliefs and can't really imagine another position accurately because they don't have an accurate sense of their own positions

by InnerAd8639 1 week ago