Expecting/buying expensive engagement rings is stupid, amirite?

My wife and I shoped for her ring together after we had decided to get married (also our wedding bands). Is this just not done, or somehow wrong?

by Ollie56 1 week ago

I just did that, my girl even told me exactly what she wanted, then she tried them on and she hated what she wanted and fell in love with the ring she tought she would have hated.

by Holiday-Friendship 1 week ago

Well yeah I can agree on ur last point, rings that tarnish or else wouldnt be nice but as u said u can get those for small money too

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

I wouldn't exactly say "small money" but certainly less than three months salary.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

max cpl hundreds I'd say and if u happy with a reasonable amount thats fine. I just dont get those opinions that say that the price shows the worth of ur partner

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

I mean it's great that you and your wife have the same mindset that's important. I feel the same way for a wedding and yet there are people who feel it's important.

by Either-Worker 1 week ago

I was able to budget for $10k reasonably, came in at $8k thanks to Black Friday. Very unique setting (didn't just throw money at flashiness), but even "discount" versions of that setting were $3-4k. Not 3 months salary for me.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

See, this is perfect. You and your partner figured out your budget and she loves what she's wearing. If it breaks, it can be fixed. If she needs it to be resized, it can be done. If it's passed down, it can be resized and enjoyed instead of sitting in a box forever.

by Proof_Shelter_6055 1 week ago

well no problem and no argument against my point. U can have all u wish for for like 200 €. If that makes u happy u r on my side kinda

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

I personally wouldn't trust a ring that cheap to last through decades of daily wear, but it's up to you. Some people are fine replacing the ring if something happens,.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Even my husband, who bought my more alternative wedding band, paid more than $100.00. Even steel / wood wedding bands are worth a few hundred (I think his was ~$700.00 on sale). OP, I think your unpopular opinion stems from you not really knowing how much these materials cost at all. Some things do make it cheaper (I got a lab grown sapphire in my engagement ring), but $100.00 isn't going to get you much. It won't even get you a pure steel and nothing else band.

by lucio01 1 week ago

To OP's point, the ring shouldn't matter as much as it does. But this is also where communication plays a part. It's helpful to know if your partner hates a certain type of ring.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

here come all the holier than thou people saying how little they spent on their engagement rings and weddings 🙄🙄🙄🙄

by caroline34 1 week ago

My husband proposed to me with a loop of twine and we got married for a dollar 15 minutes later.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

$1??? That's fat cat money! We declared ourselves sovereign citizens and got married for 1 Nation of Me dollars

by Anonymous 1 week ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

by Magnus75 1 week ago

IMO- that's a pick-me guy attitude.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Ok if a couple is already living together and struggling to stay above water money-wise, the man diverting grocery money towards an expensive ring is wildly inappropriate. In these cases a cheap ring (to the style preferences of the fiancée!!! ) is a valid and good choice.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

as if its a bad thing

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

It's not good or bad. It's a preference andan affordability thing. People brag on how little the spend on rings or weddings like that makes them better people are annoying.

by Visible-Arachnid3846 1 week ago

We spent on our wedding, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Bc they were the first to brag about weddings or rings, right?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

We eloped in Vegas and my ring was reasonable but I don't think I'm better than anyone else because of it. I hate weddings and wanted to elope and I dont have a more expensive ring because I have ADHD and often lose jewelry

by Emergency-Anxiety388 1 week ago

I guess if you don't consider higher divorce rates correlated with more expensive weddings a bad thing. Are we really trying to push the idea that being unmaterialistic isn't better than being materialistic? It doesn't make you a bad person or anything if you do want to spend a lot of money, but I do think it's better to not be materialistic and care about that stuff.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

not being materialistic when it comes to relationships between humans is always better! That is part of the point I was trying to make

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

Yes and I was agreeing with it. I was disagreeing with the person saying it wasn't good or bad.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

isn't that more like just richer people have more expensive ring? richer people does have higher safety net to actually consider divorce

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Wealthier Americans have lower divorce rates so I don't think that adds up.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

in the end u can spend what ever u want, but if u say that spending more money on those things proves that u love ur partner more, THEN it is stupid but ppl tent to think that way and there are women out there that wouldn't marry a man if he doesnt spend enough money

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

3 months salary is a ridiculous rule. Get what you can afford. If she's isn't happy with that, she ain't the one

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I would like my boyfriend to get me an expensive beautiful ring. That's my personal preference. It could be stupid to others but that's our buisness. If he doesn't care and understands the assignment then why should anyone else 😂. Plus he brought it up first so it's not like i made it known off the bat. He also wants a big wedding.. I do not. I rather put that into a nice luxurious honeymoon but it is what it is.

by Wild-Pick5034 1 week ago

the question is, be honest, would u be mad if he didnt buy an expensive one? If yes, why? ofc it is your own buisness but imho the money could be spend way better than for a ring

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

No i wouldn't be mad I would just tell him i don't like it and to send it back. We can still get married but if I don't like something i'm not going to keep it

by Wild-Pick5034 1 week ago

and the buy u another expensive ring? why not just beautiful, why has it to be expensive?

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

just because they're beautiful doesn't mean it's good quality and has a longevity. Sure there's rings that are ridiculously overpriced but if someone wants a good quality ring it's going to be expensive regardless. Cheap means metal may not me high quality and the stones won't be either which can cause it to tarnish and jewels falling out of place.

by Wild-Pick5034 1 week ago

Why not put the price of an expensive beautiful ring to a nice luxurious honeymoon?

by jaronprice 1 week ago

I don't have much family which is why i didn't think it would make sense to have a nice big wedding. I feel awkward thinking about it. i was thinking just going to the court house but he does not like that idea at all

by Wild-Pick5034 1 week ago

We did a friend heavy wedding with only close family, and it was so fun. It's one time in your life you can reasonably expect friends and family of all phases of life to join you and celebrate you. At an event that is meant to celebrate you. It's such a unique experience I didn't know if I wanted before hand but would not change a damn thing having done it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Worry about your relationship and your wife

by Wild-Pick5034 1 week ago

Imagine having to wear a ring you think is ugly for the rest of your life so your man baby husband doesn't get upset

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's not one or the other. There's no reason not to enjoy your wedding and your ring if you have the capability to and they fit your budget.

by robingaylord 1 week ago

even 3k is so much money man, ofc it depends a bit on ur income but my wife would have killed me if I had spend so much money for a ring.

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

Well thats what we were comfortable buying and we could afford it. It really depends on the couple.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Bingo. It's all relative. If a couple can afford a more expensive ring, why does anyone else care?

by Special_Bag_8926 1 week ago

ofc I meant it in relation to ur income too. If u have so much money that u dont care and wear a 10k handbag too, yeah then it deminishes the sense of my point

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

3k is a lot to you. For some people, that's a drop in a bucket

by Wrong-Walk-2209 1 week ago

My fiancé bought me the exact ring I asked for. It is delicate and small. It suits me. He is mildly embarrassed of it because he knows other people are going to assume he loves me less based on how much he spent.

by Particular-Fish2160 1 week ago

eff those ppl, those ppl are shallow and materialistic, no true relationship needs or wants that

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

our rings are tattooed :D It can not get more meaningful imo and those cost 50€ each

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

Interesting point, and your link does make sense that this would be bad in a hospital. But plenty of people regularly wash their rings, I'm not married but my parents are and I know that they do. I can't imagine wearing something 24/7 and not thinking it gets dirty lol

by strackefrederiq 1 week ago

This is one of those things that is 100% personal preference, and that's ok. I think the thing that really needs to be addressed is the surprise. Don't surprise the girl with the ring, take her ring shopping so you know it's something she likes / wants. My husband and I went ring shopping together and it was a very lovely experience. We went in with a budget in mind and had a lot of fun going from shop to shop to look at all the options.

by lucio01 1 week ago

If you can afford it go buy the expensive ring. But people shouldn't be pressured into thinking they need one. My Fiancée engagement ring cost me $200. She is obsessed with it and wears it all the time.

by Unlucky_Fondant2422 1 week ago

Wife proposed to me with a vending machine ring 20 years ago.

by Terrible_Smoke1428 1 week ago

I agree it seems like a huge waste of money. Plus there's really pretty rings for like 100€

by Anonymous 1 week ago

We have to keep this reward system going when we finally get them in person. I'll never tire of patting them on the head then. I hope they get a little smiley face when we do.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Tattooed rings is cool, definitely signifies more commitment than an actual ring. Respect!

by Ok-Mousse-7323 1 week ago

I always kinda liked the dermal piercing as a ring

by Anonymous 1 week ago

There is no way I will ever spend money on a diamond, they are not worth it. My wife got an engagement ring with a piece of meteorite in it. Cost a mere fraction of what a diamond costs and is really unique.

by Blaze46 1 week ago

I love that I even wrote in another answer that I'd like a meteor ring over any Diamond rings

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

i've told my boyfriend i'd rather have some handmade etsy ring for less than $200 than some super valuable ring that id have a heart attack over if i lost it. plus i'm not in it for the money, and i have nobody id show it off to. i want something because it's special, like a rose quartz jewel because pink is my favourite colour, or amethyst for my birthstone

by Ok_Sheepherder 1 week ago

Mine is hexagonal cut moss agate and it's the most breathtaking thing I've ever seen.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

moss agate is a great stone, I'd prefer it over a diamond anytime too

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

My fiancé and I just have silicone rings 🤷🏻‍♀️ We don't care about what the ring looks like, but what it symbolizes. We didn't want to put ourselves in debt already just for a ring. We'll spend more money on our wedding rings obviously, but I'm not materialistic. Plus, I (29F) was the one who proposed to him (on leap day). To each their own though 🤷🏻‍♀️

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I love that! Silicone is a smart solution ! We got our Wedding rings tattooed

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago

Aww, that's cool!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'd marry you with paper rings 🎶 But the diamond industry is terrible and started the engagement ring. I know there was a dowry which it can probably be traced back to

by Anonymous 1 week ago

For me it's not an unpopular opinion. I also don't see the point

by Dominicwillms 1 week ago

Almost everything about getting married as gotten stupid.

by Budget-Operation 1 week ago

Personally I wouldn't even want one at all. I don't like to wear rings, so having to wear two (engagement and wedding) would be annoying. But I think it's something that every couple should discuss.

by Golden50 1 week ago

Historically, the income rule was meant to be a safety for the woman. If her fiance died or broke off the engagement, she could sell the ring and have the means to support herself for a while. Certainly, we don't live like this anymore, and the amount spent on the right g should be determined by the couple. If they prefer to save the money for a nicer honeymoon or house down payment, great. If they like nice jewelry and are fine with spending more, great. There really aren't social norms around this anymore, or at least, shouldn't be.

by Wledner 1 week ago

I agree with this especially if we're not millionaires or billionaires. Just get me a pretty ring, and if you really love me that's all that matters

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Jewelry is just a stupid waste of money. I'd rather have a puppy, if someone is gonna blow money on me. 😁

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If someone I was dating bought a ring worth several thousand dollars, I would ask them to return it and seriously question their intelligence. Throwing away that much money, which could be spent on a house or a vacation or any other number of Much More Important things would make me feel like I couldn't trust their judgment.

by Chemical_Wedding 1 week ago

normalize inexpensive stones !! u can get a beautifully designed intricate and expensive looking ring and knock down that price by replacing the main diamond with a still beautiful but more affordable gemstone, like garnet (my dream stone)

by Anonymous 1 week ago

the whole Diamond as an engagement ring was invented by Debeers in order to sell diamonds. They ran so many ads about getting your fiance a diamond, that it became a given-a commonplace thing. But there was a time before that when diamonds weren't used. For me? I'd prefer a sapphire over a diamond any day, it would be more special to me.

by konopelskiwillo 1 week ago

Adam Conover agrees with you. Though if we're going to continue this silly tradition, I demand an $8,000 lunch box for my troubles.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My take is that you're going to be wearing it for more than half of your life, every single day. Get what you like, be it cheap or expensive.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If me and my girlfriend ever get married I'd want something that means something rather than something that'll put her in debt

by Otto24 1 week ago

I agree. My exgf and I used to shake our heads at all our friends dropping insane amounts on rings. We saw anything over a few grand as a waste of money. Same with expensive weddings. My ex-wife, for all her horrible faults, made me buy her engagement ring from Walmart because she didn't want me wasting money on a piece of jewelery to say we love eachother. I wasn't a fan, but agreed. Looking back glad I didn't spend a lot 🤣

by salma64 1 week ago

Gen question, why would people spend that much on engagement rings? As OP have said, it could've been used for lots of other things. One thing I can think of is honeymoons.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

My brother spent $22K on my SIL's engagement ring, their wedding was probably at least another $30K, and their honeymoon was probably another $5-8K. I'd rather spend $15K total on the wedding and ring, $10-$15K on a honeymoon, and put the rest towards savings or a house….

by salma64 1 week ago

one cannot spend money better than for an own home. I mean almost 100k ?? If u make so much money that u dont need to care okay but if u make average income it is just insane. Some more money for honeymoon is understandable tho

by Wisozkalayna 1 week ago