+365 Snakes can talk. We're all descendants of two clones. Bats are birds. Bushes can talk. Every single species of animal (x2) can fit on a boat. Men can rise from the dead. a man can live inside of a fish for three days, and the red sea can part to leave a giant walkway if a magical skydaddy wills it, amirite?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I don't like your sarcastic tone Mr.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I like your sarcastic tone Mr.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Pretty much, except only Eve was a clone. Adam was just pure magic.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

hahaha

by Anonymous 14 years ago

He was a magical clone of dirt.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Haha all the religious people are butthurt. Lol

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I'll give you 5, but if they were to fit every animal (2x) Without breeding (so wolves instead of dogs, etc) on a boat the size of that described in Genesis, yes, they could all fit, with room to spare. Do the math.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

There are tens of millions of species of animals, and that's not even counting fish and other awuatic animals. The dimensions of the ark were in the hundreds of feet, not nearly enough for all of those animals and their cages and enough food for 40 days.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Very@648865 (BreakfastFan): Look, I'm not making this up, it has actually been calculated by those way smarter than me. Food is included in the "room to spare," birds can perch on the roof or in the rafters, fish don't need flood insurance, and you are not accounting for breeding.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Show me a link because even if you only had pregnant females and eggs, MILLIONS of animals and more then a BILLION pounds of food couldn't fit into a boat that's only hundreds of feet long. Besides, people from 3,000 b.c. didn't have the tech to make a boat that big.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

http://creation.com/how-did-all-the-animals-fit-on-noahs-ark

by Anonymous 14 years ago

There are dozens of flaws in that, but I'll just go with this: How in the hell did an old man and a few family members and friends travel all around the globe and collect every single animal species, every kind of plant and fungi, and bring them all back to the middle east. They would also have had to save many aquatic species because trillions of gallons of freshwater added to the ocean would have upset the ratio of salt to water and caused them to die off.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

He was not old at the time, it took him dozens of years, fish can adapt (Most Christians do believe in Micro-evolution, just not interspecies changes), plant seeds are very resilient. And if you have read the Bible, the animals came to him of their own accord. I know that last one is hard to believe, but this is the same Skydaddy who parted the red sea. The math adds up.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

If I remember correctly, the Bible actually stated Noah's age as being several hundred years old. Whatever the case, he brought his children and their spouses with him, so it's safe to say that he was old because the average lifespan back then was thirty. And no species can evolve in a matter of days. I can't even think of any words to describe how ridiculous that is.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I do not see how you got the whole,"average lifespan 30" thing, but he lived to be over 200 (Skydaddy). Other than that, it was freshwater that was falling from the sky and saltwater sinks below freshwater, so it is possible for fish very far from the coast in freshwater lakes to survive. Go back and read the entire article.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

ya the average lifespan was signifigantly longer. Kent Hovind did a whole thing about the pre-flood world. but seriously so many people go bashing the bible without even examining it. its rediculous

by Anonymous 14 years ago

You do know that there were probably less species of animals then too? Just because we don't believe in the evolution of humans, doesn't mean we don't think other animals didn't evolve.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

ono Humans are animals, so if you believe in evolution, you beleive in it for us too. Besides, 5,000 years is less then the blink of an eye in evolutionary terms. No new species have evolved since then.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Ignore that last guy and just read the link. The measurements are at the bottom.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

You also have to account for the fact that he didn't just bring two of every animal. He also brought 7 of certain kinds (like sheep or something, I can't remember the quote).

by Anonymous 14 years ago

That is specifically adressed in the article.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

The fish and aquatic animals didn't need to get on the ark. They are aquatic.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Nice job not reading what I wrote. If there was a flood that covered everywhere on Earth all the way up to Everest (I'm humoring you) that was caused purely by rainfall, then that would mean that trillions and trillions of gallons of water would be added to the oceans. This would screw up the salt to water ratio that aquatic creatures need to sustain themselves. That would be like screwing around with the gases in out atmosphere.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

ugh. i'm not religious, but can we stop with all these trolling posts about religion please? we get it. the concept of religion is considered pretty outlandish by some. but seriously, no need to make fun of others beliefs. it seems immature. try and post something that we haven't seen a million times, please.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

well said

by Anonymous 14 years ago

You're so right...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

THANK YOU. I am a Christian and I respect you greatly for respecting my beliefs. So again, thank you very much

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Thank you! I am so sick of people posting stuff like this! We get it, you aren't a Christian, beyond that there's no point to these kinds of posts.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Yeah, you're right... I'm just... I'm kinda tired of having Christianity shoved down my throat, you know?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

(12 Year Old): Oddly enough people (atleast the ones I've met) who don't believe in God talk about it a lot more than the Christians I know. We talk about our beliefs a lot don't get me wrong, but if we know there are people who don't believe the same thing around we respect that and don't constantly try to convert them.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I consider myself Christain, but I don't believe EVERYTHING in the Bible. What makes me Christian is that I believe Jesus is God's son.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

umm...im sorry but that doesnt make you christian. dont call me ignorant because ive been raised in the church since birth.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

ignorant.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

IGNORANT hehe :)

by Anonymous 14 years ago

CHRISTian.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

The bible says (and I am not a Bible basher who knows where everthing is so don't ask me to show you) that if you believe that Jesus is the son of God and that died for our sins that you are Christian.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

thats not all. im not going to sit here and argue with ignorant people over something im more educated in. believe what you want, its your loss.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I'm religious, and this is pretty funny. Loosen up, people.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Alright. I'm religious, and this is still kinda funny. Cause if you look at it that way, the bible is total bullshit. But everything in the bible wasn't supposed to be taken literally. The people who wrote the bible weren't concerned with scientific accuracy.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Yes, actually it is supposed to be taken literally

by Anonymous 14 years ago

No, pretty sure it isn't. At least not most of the scientific details.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Well, I'm pretty sure "swallowed by a large fish" can be interperated metaphorically.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

*note I was being sarcastic

by Anonymous 14 years ago

no haha its not meant to be taken literally cuz im pretty sure adam wasnt made from dirt and im pretty sure you couldnt fit two of every animal on one boat

by Anonymous 14 years ago

So then you just pick and choose what you want to believe? How can you tell which ones are stories and which ones are true? That makes absolutely no sense at all

by Anonymous 14 years ago

its all stories! there not meant to literally be true theyre supposed to teach a leason!

by Anonymous 14 years ago

But what about the New Testament? Is Jesus just a story too? Did they just take Caesar, pharaohs, etc and make stories up about them too? I'm legitimately asking, where do Christian's draw the line at what is true and what is "just a story?" because I know many Christians who say they have faith the whole thing is true

by Anonymous 14 years ago

It's kind of funny how you can pick and choose what you take literally. Ohwait..

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I think most of it is literal, except I believe God created the world and people through the big bang and evolution and Adam and Eve were the first fully evolved humans(which means they were black, sweet). To be honest, do you really think the people of the time peiod could concieve certain scientific theories? Evolution is pretty complicated, so are some of the other things mentioned in the Bible, even some people today can't really understand it, so do you really expect it to be scientifically perfect? They do know some things though, like dead people pretty much stay dead and animals do not talk.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

adam and eve were both heterozygous in terms of race. thats why we have whites and blacks. they were most likely the skin color of middle easterners

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I think they're black, because the earliest human skeleton was found in North Africa.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

i think they werent even real because the stories arent real. theyre only meant to teach a leason

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Okay, why was that even neccessary? Did that really add anything to the conversation? did it change anyone's opinion or give any new information? No. You just wanted to state your beliefs for no reason. I'm okay with people stating their beliefs, but there was no reason for saying it at all. It was hardly relevant.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

was there any need for this comment?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Well, to be honest. I don't believe most of the Bible, and I don't try to understand the scientific theories. I think there's just stuff out there that we'll never understand, and I'm okay with that.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

This was pretty offensive.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Haha whales aren't fish! Wasn't he stuck inside a whale? I'm not sure. Love the post.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

It wasn't a whale, it said large fish.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

This is what I don't understand, why do people who don't believe in God care what Christian's believe? If atheists are right, then nothing happens, we all just die and that's it. No reward, no punishment. So if nothing happens, it shouldn't matter what you believe. So they really shouldn't care whether or not one believes in evolution. Christians on the other hand, believe that when you die something DOES happen, so if they are right then everyone else is screwed.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Thank you everyone, I'm glad you see my point

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Atheists are not the only other people in the world, you know. What if reincarnation is the truth of the afterlife, and those Christians are just going to keep on repeating themselves til they get it right?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

In the Quran, it says two of every animal got onto the ark. There were many animals, but of course, Allah has the ability to do the impossible.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

(moi.): That wasn't the point. The point was that atheists shouldn't argue any religion with anyone because if they are right then nothing happens, they aren't punished or rewarded for anything they do, they won't come back as another person. Nothing. It wasn't the Christians I was talking about in the original comment, it was the question of why atheists give a crap about other beliefs if, according to them, in the end we just die nothing else.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

If you met someone your age or older who still believed in the Tooth Fairy, wouldn't you try to change their mind?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Honestly, no. I would ask them why but in the end it's not going to do anything to them. Is it hurting anyone? No. Will something bad happen to them if they still believe it? No. Why would I try and change their mind? Because I find it silly? Who cares. I find a lot of things people do silly, and 99% of them will affect no one but themselves. If you are atheist why would you want to change my mind if I'm a Christian? According to your beliefs (if you are atheist), it doesn't matter what anyone does because nothing happens to you once you die. So whatever someone believes, whether it be in God, or reincarnation, or Buddha, or whatever, it has absolutely no influence on what happens to you in the end. Therefore, why do you care? You're just arguing to argue

by Anonymous 14 years ago

The thing is Christians are constantly trying to change other religions, not just atheists. (Other religions do as well, I'm not denying that of course.)

by Anonymous 14 years ago

To be honest, if I wrote about scientific theories like this, I could make them sound just as ridiculous.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Agreed. You can make anything sound ridiculous if you tried.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

like if you throw something it will always fall not matter what it is due to the mystical force of someone called gravity or when somes one gets it and squirts it out into her vag the like white tadpole like squigles duke it out through her tube stuff to see who is the fastest and strongest and who will win the egg trophy

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." -Matthew 19:26 If you don't believe it, just ignore it.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

The whole red sea parting thing could have actually happened. I don't recall the exact details but I learned something about how there was significant tectonic activity that could have temporarily changed the sea level around that time. I'm not saying God did it though; I just thought that was interesting.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I lol'd xD

by Anonymous 14 years ago

hahah i did lol at this but in all seriousness no one actually believs this its what we call "religious truth" and its meant to teach us not be a historical record of events

by Anonymous 14 years ago

The universe just decided to appear one day, or else it's always been here, and one day it's going to start shrinking and piles of bricks will start building themselves. All the species in the world exist because of lightning in primordial crap. The foundational principle of all truth is pics or it didn't happen. What, isn't this what all atheists believe? It's the same with facts. You can turn air into diamonds. The earth and everything on it is made out of stardust. Every fall all the leaves on the trees simultaneously decide to commit suicide. These are all scientific facts (stars, over time, fuse hydrogen together to make increasingly heavier elements, including carbon, which is what diamond is made of. After a supernova all the heavy elements are released, which is the only way you can have planets, because in the original big bang only lighter elements were produced. Leaves produce a protein that cuts them off from the flow of nutrients every fall.) but they sound like bullcrap.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

why does everyone bash religion because its not scientifically proven? Thats the point of religion, believing in something more than science. And if you do your research, there is more evidence for the events in the Bible than there are for evolution

by Anonymous 14 years ago

A lot of the stories in the bible are meant as morals, to teach us what is good and show us consequences of bad actions. Religious people took these stories too seriously, seeing them as completely real and believing that they actually happened. When in fact I believe these stories were told only to educate the people on morals.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Magical skydaddy. Made me laugh soooooo hard hahahahahaha

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I didn't know whether to vote this up (because to me it's TRUE) or vote it down( because you're being a fricken sarcastic athiest). To all those hating on peoples' faith, STOP IT! Stop saying "There's no proof, it's impossible..." because you will NEVER understand the power of faith and God.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

We'll see who's laughing when all you people bashing on religion are in Hell.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I don' think we should take the bible serious... I believe in god but I think that the bible is just here to teach you lessons.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

exactly

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Don't be an asshole and make fun of other people's religion.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Rule 42.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

you can make anything sound stupid and rediculous. people who believe in the big bang think one day a big explosion happened and then everything existed just like that. if you state something in the right way you can always make it sound dumb

by Anonymous 14 years ago

all the people bashing other people beliefs shut uppp really you believe what you believe and bashing wont change anyones mind on the subject so just be quiet and respect other opions

by Anonymous 14 years ago