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Why do women try to be the head of the house instead of men, because now they have to work, clean, do taxes and pay bills when before all they had to do was cook, amirite?

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Wow. A little sexist are we?
Who says all women have to cook in the household!?

@Egotistical Wow. A little sexist are we? Who says all women have to cook in the household!?

Women used to cook and raise children, that was their only role in society 90-100 years ago, it's not sexism if it's a true statement. I did not say that's all they should do, I'm wondering why they chose to do more.

@ravensrule Women used to cook and raise children, that was their only role in society 90-100 years ago, it's not sexism if...

that was a womens role since well...the beginning of recorded time. Its actually only been in the last 100 years that it hasnt been. And It wasnt choosing to do more as such it was just choosing at all that was the main thing....

@xorachelxo it's not sexist..it's how it used to be. it's a fact

See, there's this thing called an opinion. Opinions aren't facts.

@Funnyplants See, there's this thing called an opinion. Opinions aren't facts.

what about stats? statistics arnt based on opinions. Try to find out one nation wide statistic out there that says men share equally in unpaid labour. In China the stat is 40 hours to women and 4 to men. That is includeing another 40 hr work week for both. (economist magizine). it is a question of theory not fact. You see in theory both can share, but in practice they do not.

@Funnyplants See, there's this thing called an opinion. Opinions aren't facts.

Yeah opinions aren't facts smart one. I wasn't talking about opinion, idiot.

@xorachelxo Yeah opinions aren't facts smart one. I wasn't talking about opinion, idiot.

I really don't give a shit about your opinion, you can go fuck yourself too

@Funnyplants I really don't give a shit about your opinion, you can go fuck yourself too

I love how your only comeback was "fuck you". I’ll take that as a compliment that my logic was sound and my argument was superior.

@HannahAbbot I love how your only comeback was "fuck you". I’ll take that as a compliment that my logic was sound and my...

Now that I'm in a better mood, let me clarify. What the OP said is not a fact, What the person I replied to said was not a fact. Statistics are facts, you're right, but who even mentioned statistics before you did? You brought them up out of nowhere.

The OP made it sound like women used to have the best time ever only needing to cook, when they really didn't. If a woman wants to stay home and cook instead of pursuing her career, that's her choice.

What if a post was "Why do black people pursue education and careers, it was way easier for them when all they had to do was pick cotton." That post sounds racist (actually it sounds sarcastic but if you took it literally its pretty racist). While before they might have not had to make any choices, life is better when you can make your own.

I don't know how to connect all that together, I just kept typing without realizing nothing really connected, but my main point is yeah stats are facts, I never said they weren't. Why bring statistics up?

@Funnyplants Now that I'm in a better mood, let me clarify. What the OP said is not a fact, What the person I replied to said...

hahahhahahahahaha. you are right I bought statistics out of nowhere. kinda. Let my clarify: xorachelxo said "it's not sexist..it's how it used to be. it's a fact" ok? (sorry if I’m going through this slow, my previous encounter with you led me to believe you were of dubious intelligence). That comment was referring to the FACT that women used to do all (or most) of the home cooking. See where I’m going with this? xorachelxo wasn’t even saying that women do all of that now, It was referring to women’s history. And I’m sorry to break it to you. That is fact. You cannot seriously argue that women in history did not do most of the cooking? I bought up statistics because i thought that that was what you were trying to say. Hence if i bought factual evidence to the table then you could not deny the existance of that fact (not opinion). Do you get it?

@HannahAbbot hahahhahahahahaha. you are right I bought statistics out of nowhere. kinda. Let my clarify: xorachelxo said "it's...

women did own land and could hold jobs around the Mesopotamian and Egyptian era, and even during early India. I only said that to complicate things btw...but it's true.

@ravensrule women did own land and could hold jobs around the Mesopotamian and Egyptian era, and even during early India. I...

I wish I knew more about ancient history but thats interesting. Though as mere examples, it doesnt hold that just because that specifics will not be the same across the board, that it somehow discredits the argument. When you talk about Mespotamian and Egyption era and ancient India you are going back thousands of years, cherry picking the few anomalies that have existed. I could go into long boring detail about arranged marriages, stoning etc but i dont know enough about that kind of history and wouldnt want to embarrass myself.

Because before women's lib wasn't a bundle of fun or easy work for women - it wasn't just do a bit of chores and then watch soap operas. It was literally having little to no choice in the things that affected your life - all the main household decisions were made by the husband, and a good wife was expected to do what he wished despite her own thoughts on the matter, and that included both things within the household (household finances and raising the children) and outside the house (voting, politics).

Simons avatar Simon No Way +4Reply
@Simon Because before women's lib wasn't a bundle of fun or easy work for women - it wasn't just do a bit of chores and...

Have you read the womens room?? by Marilyn French. Fantastic book (she was a havard professor) It disscuses this very point. Underpinning it was the notion that women should have been gratefull for the man enabling the women to live this life....Im lucky, I havnt experienced any notion of sexism in my life. (my dad is a staunch feminist, as is my mum).

@Simon Because before women's lib wasn't a bundle of fun or easy work for women - it wasn't just do a bit of chores and...

Am I talking about women's right? No. And you just plainly said "before women's lib wasn't a bundle of fun or easy work for women" which is exactly what my post is arguing. If it wasn't a bundle of fun or easy work why add even more. I'm not saying they shouldn't I am simple asking why. Also technically, women could have done what they wanted except for voting.

@ravensrule Am I talking about women's right? No. And you just plainly said "before women's lib wasn't a bundle of fun or easy...

Saying technically women could have done anything except be involved in how their Goverment is run is just the biggest fucking cop out smartass. Do you think it is easy for a women to have been a docter, when men are picked over women. Or law school, where the first women to be accepted in my country was less than 100 years ago and when she got out what man would have employed her? do you think it was easy to have your own life when you were married and were expected to look after the kids??? what if you husband divrsed you? now you need to work and look after kids. Sexism maight not exist technically when the threashold is what the law says but that doesnt mean it doesnt exist in practice. It is society that decides a place for a women, not the law. And because society was generally controlled by a man, how do you think that worked out for women? There are still countries where a women is not allowed to get a drivers license or own land! even if they were given those rights in law, do you think that by magic its now all fair???

@HannahAbbot ummm im sorry for calling you are smartasss....that was rude of me...

Don't worry about it. Although your points of view show men at their worst. Just because women are treated poorly in one situation(which I agree with, and I have since this post) does not mean they are treated poorly in another. I don't want to put examples because I'm sure you will agree and I'm lazy, but true equality will probably never happen between men and women and that's the reality of it, same as discrimination because in the end its opinions that matter in these circumstances.

@ravensrule Don't worry about it. Although your points of view show men at their worst. Just because women are treated poorly...

Well maybe. Though I think you are missing the point. I wasn’t trying to 'show men at the worst'. I was trying to point out the inequalities that exist. I wanted reflect what happens in practice, even though (your right here) statistics are often generalizing. I actually don’t think it is the men’s fault. It’s not right to villainize a whole sex! What I think we can attribute most of the inequality is to a kind of passivity. But it is still important to actively challange sterotypical roles. If women have always been looking after kids doing housing work etc then both men and women passively accept this role because it is the way it has always been done. I’m not accusatory. (Hence why I blamed society, not men specifically) The point is, to ensure that we do achieve equality we must at least acknowledge that it exists. And I think the worst thing you said in your comment was to accept that you can do nothing about it! Why not? You just accept prejudice? Even if you can’t eradicate it entirely that doesn’t mean you shouldnt try! I could say the same thing about racism. Racism will never completely die out, but i will never accept it as a valid 'opinion'.

@HannahAbbot Well maybe. Though I think you are missing the point. I wasn’t trying to 'show men at the worst'. I was trying to...

why I've accepted prejudges is because I've tried to remove it, countless times, but from what I saw people usually only change opinions on their own not if someone tells them to, so I don't agree with it but the only way to erase it is for everyone to understand it's wrong. Which I don't see happening, at least not in my life time.

@ravensrule why I've accepted prejudges is because I've tried to remove it, countless times, but from what I saw people usually...

Aw that’s sad. Most women in 1st world countries probably haven’t experienced sexism. But we are the model for gender equality. It’s sad that you would accept prejudice as inevitability when women have come so far because they did not accept precisely that and still they have so far to go especially in 3rd world countries and of course some middle eastern countries like Saudi Arabia. The thing is if you just go with the status quo then nothing changes. It’s not like I expect women to march around with picket signs in front of the white house or burn their bras. If everyone was like you and saw it as a hopeless battle then nothing would change. This is a grand theoretical statement I know, but if you are to accept prejudice then what are the women in Saudi Arabia to think? (Though recent law gave them the right to get a driver’s licence, so change however small change is happening even there.) Child Brides, Genital mutilated women, women who are criminally liable for their own rape...Those women, those countries look to us as a model for gender equality. So um make them proud? I’m a little embarrassed at the grandiosity of my comment, but oh well. You get what i mean.

Because males are COMPLETELY incapable of helping cook, clean, and help with finances, right? <- Sarcasm. And women don't HAVE to cook or clean - if you want your things to be done, do them yourself. The head of the house should not necessarily be a man, but the mate who is smarter and more accomplished.

@KatOwnsYourSoul Because males are COMPLETELY incapable of helping cook, clean, and help with finances, right? <- Sarcasm. And women...

finances I disagree and some of the best chefs in the world are men. Cleaning you got me there. But the best mate I could agree, still women try to be the top even if they aren't the smarter or more accomplished

@ravensrule finances I disagree and some of the best chefs in the world are men. Cleaning you got me there. But the best mate I...

I don't believe either of two should hold all responsibilities. If the female is more intelligent then she should take care of harder tasks; such as providing for the family, finances, etc. If the male is less intelligent, he should take care of simpler tasks; such as cooking or cleaning. Neither is hard if you really put your mind to it. Also, I do not understand why OP believes that males and females can't share in the required tasks. I don't see why a male should have power over a female if he is intellectually inferior.

@KatOwnsYourSoul I don't believe either of two should hold all responsibilities. If the female is more intelligent then she should...

hey I never said I don't believe in sharing but I'm just saying before the men did almost everything and women didn't really need to, but why not you can be lazy. plus this isn't as in insult as in I think women should not be in charge and men should control everything, I'm just saying life could be so much easier

@ravensrule hey I never said I don't believe in sharing but I'm just saying before the men did almost everything and women...

Look, this might sound dumb but, being an intelligent individual, I don't really want anyone doing everything for me. I don't want to be that useless wife in the corner making the "sammiches" - why would anybody want that? I want to be the main provider, take care of the finances and be the head of the household. Not to be conceited, but I am a very intelligent person and I wouldn't want that to go to waste just because of how things used to be.

Well, my dad stays at home most days of the week, and runs a consulting business for a couple of them. My step-mother is a successful doctor and works late most nights and brings in our main income. Just to add a different perspective, as men can also be the main cooks/cleaners in the household.

Oh no! Did you just degrade women? Now youre gonna catch hell...

sb123s avatar sb123 Yeah You Are +2Reply
@sb123 Oh no! Did you just degrade women? Now youre gonna catch hell...

It was suppose to be a joke at first then I forgot it's a girl majority website so I have to defend it, didn't really expect homepage though.

Ok so I get that this post is a bit sexist towards men...I have read above statements and you all make good points about women not having to do the cleaning, that men can help and that there doesnt exist those defined roles ect. You all make good points, but im gonna have to say in the majority of cases OP is right. This is a question of FACT not THEORY. in theory sexes can share the tasks, they have equal rights, so why not? But that is not the case, it just isnt. In China (i got these stats from the economist magazine, it is reliable and well researched) women work 40 hours a week (same as men) But do another 40 in unpaid work around the House (cleaning, looking after kids ect) the men respectively do 4. FOUR. That statistic is just shocking. It goes to show that in practice, sexism is still out there. Not to say that it is active. The men in those marriages probs werent thinking "it is a womens job" but they passively accept it because that is how its always been done. Its unfair, but you cant blame it on the men....

@HannahAbbot dammit. Made the comment too long, and now nobody will be bothered to read :(

I read it. Well, maybe those men who work 40 hours a week aren't as well suited to do housework as the women are. Even if the women work a lot, they may not have a job as difficult as the man's.

@SomeEpicName I read it. Well, maybe those men who work 40 hours a week aren't as well suited to do housework as the women are...

maybe. Maybe that would account for a a slight discrepancy. To be honest I think thats a cop out. With such a large sample size and a discrepency as large as TEN times more unpaid work done by women cannot be explained away as chance. Esspecially when you account for the fact that the women in the sample worked as much as men in a proper job. Can you explain how a women how effectively does almost twice as much work as a man (in total labour so that includes paid and unpaid) could possibly have it better off?

@HannahAbbot I would love to here an example of how working twice as much could possible be easier....

If the women work the same job as the men, then it's more unfair. I was thinking about how most difficult careers with high pay, a lot of education requirements, and long hours are dominated by men, so it seems like men usually have more difficult jobs and are the main source of income. This is not true for every couple, of course. But I do think that even if they do have a tougher job, that should help with housework more.

@SomeEpicName If the women work the same job as the men, then it's more unfair. I was thinking about how most difficult careers...

Well that’s what my statistic was about. It pointed out that women are doing more unpaid work regardless of employment! Though I agree that tallying up the amount of work each gender do is not actually determinative of overall inequality. The very fact that you mentioned that men dominate in highly educated, difficult jobs etc almost backs up my point that inequalities exist. For an example in NZ (where I live) there are more female law graduates than male yet they make up only 20% of the judiciary and only 10% of partners in law firms. Though I think you are playing into the fallacy that a paid job is more difficult than unpaid work. I.e. stay at home mum. My mom is a doctor but when we were little she was a stay at home mom (4 siblings, I have a twin) she always jokes that as a doctor she’s living the easy life now. But im glad that you acknowledge that the work should be spread more equally even so....thats something at least.

Me and my boyfriend live together, we both work and pay half of all the bills, we also have an equal amount of housework to do. We are extremely happy with this situation, I would not like to stay at home all day and cook and clean it would be very unfulfilling and he would not like to have all the financial burden on him.

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@1439493

my mum is a doctor. She works and does virtually all the unpaid labour. My dad works same as mum but no cooking or anything like that...

Anonymous +2Reply
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@1439650

I actually thought the disscussion was a interesting one. OP made an interesting point. I think its disrespectful to make a sexist joke when disscussing feminism....FYI

Anonymous +1Reply
@1439650

Did you make one then?

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