+877 Guys AND Girls: You would actually like to be a virgin when you get married, and you want your spouse to be a virgin too - then sex is something that only you two have. You want this even if you don't admit it or it's not religious, amirite?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm fine with having sex with a girl if I intend to marry her, even if we aren't married yet.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Fuck that, do you buy a car without test driving it? What if you marry a man who is HORRIBLE in bed, you would regret it for the rest of your life, or 5 years because that's basically what marriage is anyways.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

you shouldn't love someone because of the sex. it shouldn't matter.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

you can't just ignore a whole part of a healthy relationship. Sure, sex isn't supposed to be the main part of a marriage or even a relationship. However it's still an important part, that you can't just keep on the down low until you can't leave your relationship.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

He's not going to be terrible forever

by Anonymous 13 years ago

alright but sex would suck because neither of u know what the fuck ur doing because its all new to you... therefore sex would suck and u wouldn't have any joys out of marriage...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

(Jonathan Uzaizi): How about being with the one you love? how is that not a joy of marriage?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Are you going to end a relationship with someone you love, just because the sex is bad?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You wouldn't exactly know how horrible they were considering that they are the only person you've been with. & if you're both virgins then you could teach eachother what you like & be the best sexual partners you both will ever have.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Are you really going to base your love on how good sex is? And marriage is supposed to last forever not just for 5 years. The only reason alot of marriages don't work out for very long is because the people weren't really truley in love. They probably were only married for the sex, or for money, and ended up cheating because they had already made a huge mistake.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It takes two to tango.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Obviously you haven't been in a relationship with an active sex life. A healthy sex life is important to any marriage.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

AGREED.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yes, to any MARRIAGE, not any relationship with that "special someone" you've known for a week. So, save the gift of yourself for marriage, then have a healthy sex life with your spouse. Which is what this post is saying... It didn't say anything about not having sex when you're married.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

High five fellow anon.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If he or she was ur first time u wudnt be able t tell if it was bad cuz u can't compare it to anything

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If he or she was ur first time u wudnt be able t tell if it was bad cuz u can't compare it to anything

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Nobody is saying sex i bad. I mean sex is good in the boundaries of marrige. When you're married accidently getting pregnant is less stress because you're stable. And did you know they can't test you for EVERY sexually transmitted disease, so once you have had sex you never no if you're clean. And sex in relationships before getting married is just filling an emotional gap that sex can only fix for a while. I am proud to be a virgin and to say I'm waiting to get married, people say I won't make it but I will.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

rock on :)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

My boyfriend and I have sex, we are not married, we have been together for 2 years now, and NO we are not having sex to 'fill in' emotional gaps We are both OVER 18 and we love each other very much and probly will end up married anyway. I respect YOUR decision, you should respect other peoples. And I believe you can get married a virgin, but good luck on finding another dude thats a virgin-i mean you cant just be picky (omg I can only love a virgin) who knows who you may happen to fall in love with-thats all im sayin

by Anonymous 13 years ago

yeah, but the orginial post says 'actually like' and 'want', not need. And most likely most people who agreed with it don't think it's actually bad to have sex before marriage, or condemn other people for it, I don't

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I understand that, I was mostly responding to the statement that said 'unmarried couples are just having sex to fill in an emotional gap' because thats not true in all cases

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm actually in the same..."situation" as you? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and have a healthy sex life. We intend on getting married anyways. Honestly, I dont see why it's such a big deal to ahve sex before marriage if your just going to get married anyways...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I want my husband to know what he's doing. I want to know we're compatible. Just because you can't compare it to anything doesn't mean you'll know it's bad. If it's bad, you'll know. SEX IS IMPORTANT and FUN. You should be having it. If you're waiting till marriage...well, I hope you never get married and die a virgin because you're...well, too dumb to reproduce.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

One of the things about being mature is the ability to respect other people's decision. If he wishes to stay a virgin, then let him

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Agreed with your statement that sex is important and fun. Als agreed with the one above me about how you should respect his decision. And, who says it's all about reproducing these days? If people xchoose not to have sex because they don't want the kids right now...their not dumb. They are actually really smart. Considering the amount of people who have kids when they don't want them or cannot handle them.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

In my community the majority of people stay married til they die. Most of my friends still have happily married parents, and most of them didn't fuck before they were married. So whether it makes sense to you or not, it works.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

i would try it when we're engaged, just to know what it's like. Even if i didn't like it, i would just stay with her.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Getting married a virgin is an outdated tradition; it used to not matter because by and large, women did not enjoy sex, and didn't expect to. It wasn't even that long ago that the female orgasm was considered a myth!! Women stayed in those marriages not because they "worked" or that they were happy, but because they feared societies' reaction to them getting divorced (taboooo) and because it was much harder for a woman to take care of herself financially back in those days, let alone multiple children. Women used to basically sacrifice their sexuality. We don't have to do that anymore, which is why it's infinitely wiser and more realistic to know what you're getting in bed BEFORE making a lifetime commitment to it. Sex is not the only thing, but it is very important, and if you don't realize that you probably have some growing up to do still. As someone who's been married almost 10 years, and seen many friends break up and get divorced, I can tell you right now that coming int...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

... into marriage sexually naive won't make your relationship better. It will make one or both of you more likely to cheat, though, once you start to wonder what you missed out on... the single most important PRACTICAL factor I've seen in happy relationships is a compatible level of intelligence. Don't marry anyone much smarter or less smart than you... you will quickly hate each other and run out of things to talk about, I promise. Ok, end sermon... just keep in mind; I've kept a marriage together and relatively happy for 10 years(with 3 years of dating/living together before that) so I miiight know what I'm talking about.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You don't have to be 'naive' to be a virgin. You can learn about sex without acutally having it. Good for you on your marriage, but you aren't an expert JUST for being happily married. Being a virgin or not a virgin is NOT what should determine how successful your marriage is. Because on the other hand, their are alot of people who got divorced and weren't virgins when they marriaged as well. So you can live your life your way and not 'sermon' to others about why their way is stupid.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Exactly! And you can know what you like without actually have sex...I mean guys masturbate. So they know. And some girls do too. But sex is something that should be shared with one other person, not 5. And you never know for sure if you'll end up married.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Some girls do too? I think there is a lot more than you realize...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well I know a lot do, but not all...haha. But you know what I mean

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That's blind marrige, and it's a stupid idea.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Marriage is NOT about sex.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

My husband and I lost our virginity to each other, but we knew that we were going to marry each other. I'm very happy I waited.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No intention of getting married OR having sex here, so I'm not voting.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Wait... seriously?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yeah. The idea is sort of repulsive to me.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm still considering it. Being single just sounds easier, it's not that the idea repulses me. If I meet someon I really like though, I won't reject the idea.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You think its repulsive until you actually do it. I was like that too.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

...I wouldn't.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

There was a counselor who does speeches about sex and love that came to talk to my school. He said that one day a Deacon from the Catholic church came into his office in tears. When he was a teenager one summer, he and his friend came up with a way to get any girl to sleep with them. This Deacon ended up sleeping with over 200 girls that summer. He was in this man's office crying, literally kneeling on the floor because every time he had sex with his wife, all he could see was the face of a different girl from that summer. This is true, I promise. When you're having sex, do you really want to be thinking about a different person from before, or do you want to be focused on the one that you love?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

oh my.... that suxs. and you don't like chocolate cake? how strange...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

oh, I do like chocolate cake, don't worry

by Anonymous 13 years ago

well, that's a relief :)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"sleeping with over 200 girls that summer" He has lost his right to complain about anything ever again.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

how did he get any girl to sleep with him

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The speaker wouldn't tell us because he was speaking to a group of over 100 teenagers. He didn't want any of the guys getting ideas...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

What about those who can't get married, how long should they wait?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why can't you get married? O.o

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Lol, wasn't necessarily referring to myself, but I'm talking about the gay couples. That wasn't meant to be sarcastic or assholey, I'm genuinely curious as to the response I'll receive.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

lol well I guess they can get married when they can :D like, they could always go to California or wherever it' legal

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I would want us both to have had some experience, especially with each other.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I've been told my whole life that sex should wait until marriage. But really if you meet a certain person that you love, it's your choice. Life's full of choices and just because someone chose a different way than you in life, doesn't make them a bad person. Yes I would like to wait until marriage but if I chose to before, that's my choice. Other people shouldn't care.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Just gonna say...nope...glad i have experience, and your wording was confusing, sex is not something only you two have....lots of people have sex all the time, to lots of different people...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

they meant only the two people would have sex together. not them being the only two that have it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

(mememme.): I know what they meant. I was just simply stating that their wording was weird, and could be construed differently.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

sex is a big part of a relationship. sure, you should love someone because of who they are. that's a huge part. but what separate lovers and friends? lust, sexual attraction.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

but you can have sexual attraction without actually having to have sex.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

thing is we're humans and have lots of hormones. some of us will not be able to control our sexual urges. like i completely respect people who can wait til marriage, but i think there's nothing wrong with losing your virginity earlier. i lost it with a guy i truly loved but does make me a horrible person?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

no, it definitely doesn't make you a horrible person. that was your choice, and there's nothing wrong with that. plus, you truly loved him. it is, in my opinion, bad when people have sex without feeling just cause they're horny.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I think waiting until marriage for sex is an honorable thing to do. It's saying to the person you will marry, even if you haven't met them yet, that you love them more than anyone else, and that you want to be able to offer your entire self to them. Also, it's respectful to your future spouse to wait so that you know you're STD-free. I mean, what if you had sex with a bunch of people, got herpes, and then found the love of your life. You want to marry that person and have sex with them, but you can't because you would give them your disease. That's not fair to them. So all in all, I think it's very responsible and romantic to save your virginity.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I want to lose my virginity to another virgin, but it really doesn't matter if I'm married or not to me, as long is it's not drunk at a party or in a gas station bathroom or something.

by Anonymous 13 years ago