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Its not up to them what decisions they get to make about dating. As long as they're living in their parents' house they should be following their parents' rules. Either that or move out.
Kicking your child out for dating at 14 is kind of extreme...I wouldn't really call it doing the right thing. Kicking out your child for something petty just seems like avoiding responsibility to me.
False. Unless your work went into purchasing something or your name is on the title or Grammy sent you something for your birthday, it isn't yours. You use it.
This anon everyone, is a perfect example of the point I'm trying to make. Parents do all kinds of things for their kids and foolishly let them believe that those favors are owed to them. That's simply wrong. They aren't required to do anything except feed and clothe you. The rest is of their free will and following rules is the least we can do to repay them
Oh, I'll apply it to the first anon then. I just really hate the idea of kicking your child out for something like dating, even sex. It's just not wanting to deal with conflict and the lack of love really shows through.
But they still pay for the line, Internet, etc. and not necessarily. For example, my parents always tell me that the computer they gave me as a gift is theirs, I just get to use it
Don't kick them out. Take away their phone, car, gas, computer, allowance, snacks, mattress, tv, etc. make them realize every thing you do for then
Where did she go? Was this the first time she's done something rebellious? I'm not judging your parents' actions, I just hope your sister was okay...
So if I bought you something for your birthday and gave it to you, it's still mine? No.
Your belongings may not be yours, in which case I would pity you, but my belongings are mine. You decide to move out and you have no clothes to take with you, no phone, nothing, because as you say, none of your stuff is yours. That makes complete sense.
I really feel like you're a troll. This is ridiculous
I said gifts are kinda exceptions. "Your belongings" are loans.
When I leave I would live to keep the things my parents give me. That doesn't put me under the illusion that they're mine.
This demonstrates on so many levels what's wrong with the world today
I'm 100% sure that all my belongings are mine, hence the ''my belongings'' part. Paying for something doesn't make it yours. If you buy something for someone else, it becomes theirs.
Okay smart one, let's take a look at the work "belonging" here used as a noun. Is belonging synonymous with something you use? No. Is it synonymous with something you hold? No. Is it synonymous with something you own? Yes. How do you own something? Do you touch it? No. Do you drive it? No. You pay for it.
What happens when daddy cancels your phone line? "My belongings are mine!" What happens when he stops paying for your gas or insurance? "My belongings are mine!"
You have nothing. Except parents that care about you but haven't done a very good job raising a gracious kid.
You're gonna have a fun time once you're on your own
Your furniture and room wouldn't be yours, but personal posessions like a cell phone, computer, clothes etc would be because your parents gave them to you as gifts.
Exactly. Thank you, spareseconds.
They gave you a gift, but it's theirs? Can you see how that doesn't make sense? It's quite douchey too.
It makes sense because their credit card is on the receipt.
Well I really see no point in continuing this debate. You obviously feel that you're Gods gift to the world and that everything you have is your birthright not a symbol of love
No it doesn't. A gift is something you give. Once it's been given, it no longer owns to the person who bought it.
Wow. I'd never let my parents take any of my belongings or tell me unreasonably when I can and can't date.
Do you own them? Did you pay for those with your pay check? I'm pretty sure most of "your belongings" are your parents', not yours. This is exactly what I mean when I say "make them realize everything you do for them"
Your first two sentences describe the same thing I'm thinking. Knowing that your belongings belong to you is a fact, not an illusion.
What bullshit. All my belongings are mine; don't be so delusional.
I know right? My sister wanted to go in this date with a boy from school but my parents didn't let her. She went out with him anyway but my parents did the right thing by kicking her out. She was only 14 but in my house, no one disagrees with my parents.
Its not their life? It's their child's life.. And most parents care about their children's lives more than their own. They have wisdom from personal experience.
I think parents have a say if you are 13 and younger but then they need to shut up about dating. Yea, they can give their imput on what they think of WHO they are dating but that should be it.
So you wouldn't stop your daughter from dating a guy you know is nothing but trouble and will probably introduce her to drugs and get her pregnant? I seriously doubt you would just sit back and let that happen.
if your age is on the clock, you're too young for the cock
But you're still the perfect age for Pedo bear!
I know. It's like deciding what age they can have friends. Although I think a parent shouldn't let a kid date at, say, 11.
"I completely agree. Except not really."
You raise some good points about parental control over dating, but the post isn't about whether parents should have control. It says parents shouldn't decide what AGE their children may start dating. Saying "You're too young to date" is different from saying "You can't go out with that person because your grades are too low" or "You can't go out with that person because I think you're going to get hurt."
Having to follow rules is a small price for not having to pay rent
My parents have never imposed any restrictions like that on me. I'm in high school and have never dated anyone, but that's entirely my choice.
Neither did mine. I had a boyfriend at 14, really loved him, got hurt and learned from it. Being so controlled would just make someone too dependent to make their own decisions and rebellious.
Haha "entirely my choice."
Funny.
I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16 and I am glad my parents had that rule. Otherwise I probably would have ended up in some bad situations. It is a matter of keeping the children safe. I think the age of consent would be a good age to let kids start dating.
My parents never actually told me at a certain age whether I could or could not start dating. I was too shy to ask, so when I brought my first boyfriend home, I was totally afraid of what they might say. Turns out, they were fine with it! They just wanted me to make the right decision and they had enough faith that I would.
They pay the room and board, yes, it is their life actually.
"OMG OMG no I'm a self-righteous teenager who believes everything I have is my right not a privilege. I also have no real argument and I'm a fuckin dumbass." don't worry thatguys I translated for you
Thank you John, I love you.
No it's not. Shut the fuck up.
God, so sick of these "parents suck" posts. They are many years OLDER, have much more experience then you, and you still doubt their judgement? Their decisions may not make sense at the time but they will help you in the long run, trust me.
I agree, but I'm also sick of the posts where parents are being treated like gods - they're always right, they can do whatever they like and you must do whatever they ask without question, etc. And the "as long as they pay or give you a place to live, you have to do anything they want" nonsense. Parents are legally and morally obligated to give you those things and while you can still be grateful, it's not grounds for listening to everything they say without question. I'm mainly talking about the unreasonable parents,to be clear. If they set rules like "not even a sip of wine 'til you're 18" or "no dating while you live here", it'll just make their kid rebellious and unable to make their own decisions later in life. Being older and more experienced is completely irrelevant. If their parents are being unreasonable, then yes, their judgement should be questioned. They are only human, they're not always right.
Ah I see, kind of a view of everything in moderation then. I agree that kids need to be informed on alcohol. The drinking age is 18 here and my parents would never let me drink even at a friends house if he was offering beers they wouldn't let me till 18. It bugged me but I realize now I'm happy they established that 'parent' barrier over 'friend' barrier. They knew I was drinking underage from time to time, and probably didn't even care, but they maintained those standards of the law and I can understand that
Are we assuming the drinking age is 18 where you live...? I disagree with that one. Unlike dating till 18 if a parent tells you not to drink till 18 they are telling you not to do something illegal. That seems reasonable. Parents also tell you never to drive over the limit when you get your lisence. In both situations they are well aware you will do it anyways, and probably frequently, but it's good ground rules to stand by none the less. It's different for dating where the parents aren't agreeing to the law they are making their own
It's 18 here. You have a point about it being illegal, but I think most reasonable parents who sometimes drink will allow their teen a sip or two to try it (not entire bottles) and educate them about alcohol, because if they forbid it completely their kid might wonder what the big deal is and not knowing much about drinking responsibly, they might start drinking behind their parents' backs. I think a more reasonable rule about drinking would be to set a limit, e.g. no more than one glass of wine or beer and no more than a sip of anything harder.
I wouldn't admit it to my parents but, parents always know what is best for their kids. And just from my experiences, whenever I don't listen to them I end up realizing that it was a mistake not to.
Biologicly, you're full of shit
When they start paying for their own well being, they're old enough. I think the answer of "you can do what you want when you're raising yourself and not having your parents do so" is extremely obvious.
At what age is the child "old enough" to make his or her own decisions? When the parents say so?
So until you're supporting yourself, your parents have the right to make every decision for you?
Touchè
Then your parents can also choose your friends and your classes? That seems a tad extreme.
Yes, my parents had some people in mind that they didn't want their son hanging around. And there were some difficult classes my parents made me take in high school because they knew what I needed.
Yep!
Biologically, we aren't "old enough" until our early twenties.