The people in horror movies are so stupid. If the killer askes you for last words the words to come out of your mouth should never be "fuck" and "you", it should be someting that makes the killer NOT want to kill you. Ex. "I give good head" or "I am your daughter", amirite?
"I don't think my father, the inventor of toaster strudels, would be too pleased to hear about this."
Wait until my father hears about this!
Yeah, but hopefully you don't say both of those things haha :P
What if the killer interprets that in a different way though?
"Oh, you give good head? Perfect for my collection." *Decapitates you.
Or what if he is on a mission to kill his entire family? You think he doesn't know you're his daughter? He had to go through years of searching and investigating to find all of his illegitimate children, now that you just confirmed i all the more reason to kill you.
And what if he already has a daughter that gives good head? Then you would be useless to him.
She's dead too.
He's about to kill you anyway. I think it's at least worth trying.
If the killer askes you for your last words, you should say, "You spelled 'asks' wrong. You don't need the 'e'." He'd be so grateful he wouldn't want to kill you anymore. Then you can both go to Baskin Robins and watch people eat really expensive ice cream because neither of you is willing to pay five bucks for a single scoop of vanilla.
Free samples of everything though. :)
Cyanide and Happiness seem to have a comic for pretty much every situation.
And definitely not "Your daughter gives good head."
But then he might reply with, "I know" and then no one would know what to think.
I would just cry, I'm sure it wouldn't work but I'm being honest. He'd probably laugh at me.
My last words would be, "Yes, just three."
[Compliments of Whitest Kids U Know]
wait i dont get it.
"yes" is one word, "just" is one word, "three" is one word. 1 + 1 + 1 = 3
well yeah but why would you say just three words
Do you have any last words?
Yes(1) Just(2) Three(3)
So the phrase describes itself.
yeah i got that... i just dont get, is that supposed funny? arright whatever
What if you said, "you fuck?"
Yeah, but if he's a complete psycho he's going to do it anyway. I'd really rather my last words on earth not be begging someone with "I give really good head."
mine would be "But who's going to post pictures of cats on POTD?! Amirite?!"
My last words would be "Before you kill me, let me show you a little something I like to call amirite.net." And then we'd follow each other on Amirite and mention each other in our about me pages and comment on each other's posts and help each other gain achievements and we'd be best friends on Amirite and stuff. And the best part is that I don't die!
Or the serial killer would kill you and then google amirite.
Or, he would just get so caught up reading because of how much the time flies while you're reading that then you would make your get away.
"I HAVE DOUBLE D's!"
Oh thanks. I needed some batteries.
Yes my "acting" classes will finally come to good use.
" You know what [sniffle] I could have saved you more than 15% on car insurance. $345 a year on that white van you were going to throw me in. But no, you want to kill me, so just keep paying extra you bastard"
"I KNOW HOW MANY LICKS IT TAKES TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP."
It could backfire, though
"THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW!"
off with your head
Reverse psychology could also work, though. If you say
"Cut my face off and feed my body to ants.", you'll be given a pat on the head and a capri-sun juice box.
Or you can use reverse reverse psychology, and ask to be let free. That way he would think you were using reverse psychology and that you wanted to be killed, so he would let you go free with your Capri-sun juice box to do what he thinks is what you don't want.
Or you could use reverse reverse reverse psychology and beg your life. Then he could think you were using reverse reverse psychology and set you free (against what he thinks are your real subconscious wishes) and toss the Capri-Sun in there too.
I'd definitely go with, "If you kill me, you'll never be able to find the treasure!"
The treasure of Ima Wiener?
I was thinking more National Treasure than The Simpsons Movie, but that works too:p
the treasure of Imawiener?
Why would you make such a lame joke?
wow i feel like an asshole now. when i posted that comment no one else had replyed so i thought i was the first one. god i feel like a douche now lmao
Haha I didn't think anyone else would know who he is.
LuanLegacy is FIERCE! >:D
Killler: Any last words?
Victim: RED ROBIN!
sweeps legs out from under the killer
Victim: hell yeah one point for me zer-- OH FUCK HE'S STILL ALIVE, RUN LITTLE LEGS RUN!!"
I find it extremely disturbing that I was thinking of this for a long time last night and then found my exact thoughts posted as POTD. I would greatly appreciate for you to not invade my mind again. 'kay thanks :)
dafaq did I just read
I saw the first word in your sentence and thought the same thing.
yes, you did just read da faq
Oh man, I remember reading this when it first came out. I feel like I'm watching a child grow up.
"If you kill me, then that leaves no room for a sequel!"
only 1 person thought of it from a man's point of view (im not including i give good head as a man's quote although...)
Or you can use reverse reverse psychology, and ask to be let free. That way he would think you were using reverse psychology and that you wanted to be killed, so he would let you go free with your Capri-sun juice pouch to do what he thinks is what you don't want.
Did anyone not notice that there is no letter "e" in the word "asks?"
Why does everyone assume it's a guy? I think a women killer would be easier, "I have a really big dick but I need both of your hands to pull it out and mine untied." Now you run or actually have sex, which ever is better.
And then a few months later you test positive for HIV. Who wins now?
Or you could try to change the subject by yelling something like "PUDDING!"
a post from 2010? wish they had a better system for picking POTD
Well, judging by your anon name, you should probably follow this post's advice.
"Ant, can I have POTD? Your daughter gives good head."