+2,586

500 years ago when men went to war it was common for them to force their wives to wear chastity belts while they were away. Therefore, in the meantime, only a locksmith could remove these belts. This probably explains why 'Smith' is the most common name in the phonebook. amirite?

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That explains why my last name is Strongmetalcrushingrapist

@Nonsense_Narwhal That explains why my last name is Strongmetalcrushingrapist

You must've had a tough childhood with a name like that

HastyCroissants avatar HastyCroissant Yeah You Are +36Reply
@HastyCroissant You must've had a tough childhood with a name like that

Oh yes, the other little boys and girls would point and laugh at me every time the teacher took roll. I walk down the street and everyone looks at me as if i myself am a strong metal crushing rapist, but Im not! Im really not! Years of therapy have taught me to embrace my name for it holds much heritage, from colonel Strongmetalcrushingrapist who won the Great War for our country to the late Israeli King Strongmetalcrushingrapist that brought freedom to his people. So while kids may be cruel, one day I'll teach them not to mess with a Strongmetalcrushingrapst, or they'll be sorry!

@Nonsense_Narwhal That explains why my last name is Strongmetalcrushingrapist

I hope you don't play any sports or else the jersey makers will have a tough time getting that name on the back.

:O woah. this actually makes a lot of sense.

Anonymous +49Reply
@:O woah. this actually makes a lot of sense.

That is the basis of my theory. Things that make a lot of sense will be homepaged and later at some point become POTD.

Theres a locksmith in my family lineage (: haha

Anonymous +44Reply

Woah.

I'm just like-- wait-- woah.

My Grandma's surname is Dickie. I wonder what her ancestors did...

Dameequas avatar Dameequa Yeah You Are +26Reply
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@1430762

NOT THE KITCHEN AND BEDROOM!

@Shadi NOT THE KITCHEN AND BEDROOM!

do you just lurk in the comment section of every POTD trying to be funny? Like, honestly.

@Shadi I don't know. Do I?

Is the score supposed to answer my question? Because right now, the score of that comment is negative. And don't answer this question by that method, please. Just respond.

@1430762

Shudder

The word "chastity" has the words "ass" and "titty" in it. Coincidence?hmm smilie

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +22Reply
God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +82Reply
@Serg You're God. Change the spelling.

I'm god, I wrote bibles, nor dictionaries.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +18Reply
@God* Not**

*I

**Don't

***Give

****A

*****Shit

Also, yes, you are going to Hell for that.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +46Reply
@God_the_Almighty Except that that would be chasstitty, not chastity.

As always, God just HAS to be the one with the amazingly profound statement.

RobotDevils avatar RobotDevil Yeah You Are +32Reply
@RobotDevil As always, God just HAS to be the one with the amazingly profound statement.

Oh please you're just still mad that I banished you from heaven.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +27Reply
@God_the_Almighty Oh please you're just still mad that I banished you from heaven.

Joke's on you! Everyone on Earth knows you should have just killed me! You made the wrong choice, man. And now I am corrupting every human's mind with my horrible deeds, so that they will all burn in Hell! Well, everyone except homosexual couples. They are clearly too sweet and caring to be sent to Hell. But of course, everyone already knows that...right?

RobotDevils avatar RobotDevil Yeah You Are -1Reply
@RobotDevil Joke's on you! Everyone on Earth knows you should have just killed me! You made the wrong choice, man. And now I am...

No, if i had killed you, it would have been too quick. Now you are stuck living a lonely life in Hell. Most humans fear you, they love me.

@God_the_Almighty No, if i had killed you, it would have been too quick. Now you are stuck living a lonely life in Hell. Most humans...

You still gave me the ability to screw with humans' minds, when you clearly could have just banished me to Hell forever and gave me no way to ever make contact with humans again!

RobotDevils avatar RobotDevil Yeah You Are -6Reply
@RobotDevil You still gave me the ability to screw with humans' minds, when you clearly could have just banished me to Hell...

I gave humans the choice. If they choose you over me, they deserve to endure your punishments.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are -12Reply
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@1430683

Dingdong and a Swiss Miss.

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@1431416

What about Robin and men in tights? Ah... Robin HOOD... er... nevermind.

Robins avatar Robin Yeah You Are -1Reply

So why would a locksmith have the key or whatever to open the chastity belt?
You'd think the husbands would make sure only they could open it.

@bubbly Locksmiths MAKE keys, dunkass.

She said COPY KEY PATTERN, meaning they would have quicker access to make a copy of the key instead of making another from scratch, dunkass. :D

Izus avatar Izu Yeah You Are +10Reply
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@1430740

What are you, a dunkass?

@Stepharoo So why would a locksmith have the key or whatever to open the chastity belt? You'd think the husbands would make...

Well...I'm not real sure of the workings of a chastity belt but I imagine going to the bathroom with one on would be kind of difficult. That has to be the reason why it needs to be unlocked.

Anonymous +34Reply
@Stepharoo So why would a locksmith have the key or whatever to open the chastity belt? You'd think the husbands would make...

Probably in case the original is lost. They'll have a copy key pattern in case of that situation as well as to make their rape plan work.

Shugahs avatar Shugah Yeah You Are +21Reply
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@1430736

Your comment implies that you are not as impressed as the context of your comment might otherwise affirm.

One of my favorite posts became the potd...I'm a hipster. (:

crazyllamass avatar crazyllamas Yeah You Are +8Reply

Is that why my chastity belt is barbed and lacks any means of removal?

sb123s avatar sb123 Yeah You Are +7Reply
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@1430760

ACTUALLY! There are male versions too. Meaningless fact of the day.

@1430760

What does that tell you? hello smilie

@Shadi What does that tell you?

It tells you I need something to hold up my chastity pants

sb123s avatar sb123 Yeah You Are +25Reply
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@1430794

Actually I meant aboot sb123's comment, but you make a valid point.

you need to unlock a chasity belt before you pee. How's that supposed to work?
I'm pretty sure it was mostly dads.

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@1430767

You took my name ;) That kinda freaks me out. Just thought you should know.

Drineys avatar Driney Yeah You Are -3Reply
@1430767

I think the OP means that more men became locksmiths during this time.

ctiscoolers avatar ctiscooler Yeah You Are -15Reply

Girls love to sleep around.

Anonymous 0Reply
@Girls love to sleep around.

I'm sure that notion goes well in tandem with your username.

I AM POSTING BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO POST ON THE POST OF THE DAYS ARE COOL.

@Andy I AM POSTING BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO POST ON THE POST OF THE DAYS ARE COOL.

I'm pretty sure you just ruined that generalization, dude.

Like @Sandrine said, even if having an affair was common, I don't think they would get married, so how could they take the last name Smith? I don't think divorce was even allowed then..

rowannes avatar rowanne Yeah You Are -1Reply
@rowanne Like @Sandrine said, even if having an affair was common, I don't think they would get married, so how could they...

The kid could take on the locksmith's last name, although that would cause the husband to be pretty pissed.

LimeGreenBunnys avatar LimeGreenBunny Yeah You Are +11Reply
@LimeGreenBunny The kid could take on the locksmith's last name, although that would cause the husband to be pretty pissed.

But that would make no sense because then the husband would know and the whole thing would be a waste. Although, since they didn't have contraceptives they probably got pregnant really easily so the husband would probably figure it out.. unless she pulled some Mary shit and claimed God. Idk man. I'm just gonna stop.

rowannes avatar rowanne Yeah You Are -3Reply

[Citation Needed]

?

Anonymous -9Reply
@?

¿

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +46Reply
@Serg ¿

¶ amidoinitrite?

@pb55020 ¶ amidoinitrite?

Ah HELL nah!

-Trya

Anonymous +4Reply
@Serg ¿

I'm sorry you only have one eye and no mouth.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@1430687

This isn't Facebook either.

HastyCroissants avatar HastyCroissant Yeah You Are +59Reply
@HastyCroissant This isn't Facebook either.

I wish the exact time a comment was made was still displayed.

@1430687

Come on people i was joking -___-

Expelliarmuss avatar Expelliarmus Yeah You Are +2Reply
@1430687

This isn't facebook, either. Nice try, though.

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