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Chicks: It's really silly for us to be porno-Nazis, get mad if our guys want to look at an occaisional magazine or video, and cause them to have to lie to us. As long as they still pay more attention to you, a little porn is harmless, and you're not going to make them stop watching it no matter how much you bitch, amirite?

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It was the "That 70's Show" post that got me thinking... like, how awesome Donna is except for that ridiculous, overly-controlling thing she has with Eric about porn. He was willing to wait, not press much, and all that... why on earth would any of us care about pictures of random women? I might be a bit bothered if my husband starting wanting to watch the same star all the time, like got obsessive over her, or if he'd rather watch porn than fool around.

People need to realize that, especially in romantic relationships, you really have to pick your battles. Moderate porn consumption is not battle-worthy in the big picture, I promise. =)

420Grrl +9Reply

Lol wow. Controling insecure bitches much? What's wrong with a dude wanting to watch porn? People have NATURAL urges. Sex (with solo or otherwise) is HEALTHY. My man watches porn. And we have a very healthy sex life. And a great relationship.

Anonymous +4Reply
@Lol wow. Controling insecure bitches much? What's wrong with a dude wanting to watch porn? People have NATURAL...

(boo.): Actually, I'm not insecure or controlling. I just respect myself. It's a mind-blowing concept, I know.

@PurpleKneeSox (boo.): Actually, I'm not insecure or controlling. I just respect myself. It's a mind-blowing concept, I know.

Woah woah woah. Calm your nipples there. I'm probably not going to change any of your beliefs by saying this, but guys watch porn and/or masturbate. How old are you exactly? I looked on your profile but didn't see an age. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess maybe 16 or 17. At that stage of life, guys are pretty much in the mood all day long, whether they want to or not. Have you ever been like that ALL DAY LONG? Anyway, that being said, would you rather have a guy bug you all the time for sex or have him be more considerate and just take care of himself?

@Max Woah woah woah. Calm your nipples there. I'm probably not going to change any of your beliefs by saying this, but...

And also, I never said that I wanted a guy who never jacks off in his life. However, it is not required that a guy looks at trash for him to do so. Obviously.

@PurpleKneeSox And also, I never said that I wanted a guy who never jacks off in his life. However, it is not required that a guy...

I'm not trying to cause an argument here, in case you took that a little harshly. I'm just discussing an opinion. Plus, "calm your nipples" is my all time favorite expression. :P

Anyway, I just COMPLETELY lost my train of thought. You only answered one of my questions. "How old are you?" and "Would you rather have the guy bug you all day long?" still stand. By 'ALL DAY LONG' above I meant all day every day. Not just for one day. Also, would you rather have your boyfriend masturbate to you? I think that would be kind of disrespectful to be honest.

@Max I'm not trying to cause an argument here, in case you took that a little harshly. I'm just discussing an opinion...

My age is none of your business, but if you must know, I am 15.

Would I rather have a guy bug me all day long? No, I wouldn't. If I guy is going to bug me for sex, then I'll find a different guy. In case you didn't realize it, there ARE men out there who respect a girl. I know plenty of guys, two I have dated, that do not bug me for sex, and do not watch porn. They are 16. Yes, teenaged boys are hormonal throughout their teenaged years. It IS controllable, though. Sex does not have to rule a guy's life. And as for your last question, I wouldn't care if he did so. I understand that most hormonal guys need an outlet for sexual feelings, but it doesn't mean that they need to fill their minds with trash and become desensitized to sexual things as a whole.

@PurpleKneeSox My age is none of your business, but if you must know, I am 15. Would I rather have a guy bug me all day long? No...

:O I'M 15 TOO! WE COULD BE LIKE BFFS

Anyway, you have unrealistic expectations and you'll soon run out of guys who go to the trouble of lying to you about it. Also "I just respect myself." and "I wouldn't care if he did so. [masturbate to you]" That seems a little contradictory to me.

Lastly, a guy watching porn doesn't mean that he doesn't respect women or his girlfriend more specifically. I don't see how a guy simply taking care of his own needs is demeaning to women at all.

@Max :O I'M 15 TOO! WE COULD BE LIKE BFFS Anyway, you have unrealistic expectations and you'll soon run out of guys who...

how is masturbation or watching porn a need? they're gonna die if they don't? :O

and porn makes guys think of the opposite sex, as sex objects.
you know those jokes about girls existing to make sandwiches or stay in the kitchen and cook? how they think its all sexist and that?
isnt porn sort've giving the message that girls exist to satisfy guys sexual (apparently) 'needs'? hows that not disrespectful?

Anonymous +1Reply
@Max :O I'M 15 TOO! WE COULD BE LIKE BFFS Anyway, you have unrealistic expectations and you'll soon run out of guys who...

I like what the Anonymous person above me said.

I don't "find guys who will go to the trouble of lying to me about it". I find decent, respectable guys that are willing to change that part of themselves for me, because they respect and love me. Contrary to your apparent beliefs, there are guys who don't "need" to watch garbage in order to live a normal life.

Like I said, I understand that guys want an outlet at times to their sexual urges. I would rather him relinquish those feelings while thinking about the person who he is romantically involved with, who he loves, than while watching women who have demeaned themselves to sex objects that are available to any male at any time.

@PurpleKneeSox I like what the Anonymous person above me said. I don't "find guys who will go to the trouble of lying to me about...

I said at the very beginning that I wasn't going to change your beliefs at all through this, and that I was just simply stating an opinion. I'm sorry everyone else seems hostile about this to you.

Anyway, as a sort of personal thing of mine, I'd never masturbate to my girlfriend. I think it would lower her to just being a sex object, especially if she wouldn't just have sex with me in the first place. There's no word to say it exactly, but if I was going to do that without her permission, it would feel like a lower form of rape almost. If she wouldn't be willing to have sex, I'd just prefer to leave her out of it.

@PurpleKneeSox My age is none of your business, but if you must know, I am 15. Would I rather have a guy bug me all day long? No...

This purple sox chick fails to realize she's 15 AND HER BOYFRIEND IS 16! That means you're to young for sex, and so is your boyfriend (unless you're a ''slut'') If a guy is having lots of sex, there's no need for porn. That's why almost all boys aged 12 to 18 view porn on a regular bases. If a guy was home alone for an entire day, he would spend only about 1 hour watching it. When we finish, there's no motivation to do it again (twice in a day). You save it for the next day, or the next time you're alone. How is a teen kid supposed to fap without ever having memory of a sex scene or a girl naked? Once you have memories, then use use them to fap.

@TheMachanga This purple sox chick fails to realize she's 15 AND HER BOYFRIEND IS 16! That means you're to young for sex, and so...

Who said that I have a boyfriend? Or that, if I did, he would be 16? Both are false... check your facts before you speak.

And, it is not required that a guy have seen or experienced sexual things in order for him to masturbate. It can be done by merely thinking about a girl. (I've talked to guys about it.)

@PurpleKneeSox Who said that I have a boyfriend? Or that, if I did, he would be 16? Both are false... check your facts before you...

Ok, let's be honest here.

You're 15. You're idealistic. You want a guy who will not watch porn. For your age group, it's rare. If a guy watches porn, you want them to stop completely, cold turkey. Also very rare. I've tried, trust me. In time, your ideals will relax a little once you've experienced the real world, and you'll see that these rules you hold can be forgotten for the right guy.

You say a boy can just think about a girl to help him get off. This is true, but frankly it's easier and more pleasurable for the guy to have an image of a girl in front of him. It's about being able to focus on a figure to target the sexual attraction to, which is made far easier with an image.

Thirdly, who says a guy watching porn does not respect women, or himself? When they're watching porn, they know they are. They don't see this as a realistic woman, and expect it from others. They see a woman who is performing for the camera, and they enjoy that performance.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ShadePawOT Ok, let's be honest here. You're 15. You're idealistic. You want a guy who will not watch porn. For your age...

I'm actually pretty realistic; just because you have never experienced my reality does not make my reality any less of a reality than yours.

I understand that the kind of guy I have described is rare; however, because I respect myself in a way many females do not, I am holding out for those rare few who respect MY self-respect.

@Max I'm not trying to cause an argument here, in case you took that a little harshly. I'm just discussing an opinion...

I know, that person needs to calm down. I mean come on, if you want him to jerk to you, I would actually feel uncomfortably flattered with it, but more uncomfortable. He will never meet those women in his life. How is it not showing respect for himself? He's just satisfying his "needs". It's actually quite uncomfortable to be in the mood all day and not do anything about it.
I would rather have my boyfriend jerk to porn (privately of course) instead of bug me for sex all day.

@Max Woah woah woah. Calm your nipples there. I'm probably not going to change any of your beliefs by saying this, but...

Yeah, I have been like that ALL DAY LONG before. I would rather have a guy who respects me and respects himself, thank you. That is not an "either/or" question.

If you don't put out, I deserve porn.

@RiddlesAreHard If you don't put out, I deserve porn.

Pig. Why should we put out if we just dont feel like getting pregnant or taking that risk? . If all you want is sex, just go hire a hooker.

Anonymous +15Reply

@purplekneesox: You're a dumbass. Just because a guy watches porn doesn't mean he doesn't respect you. My man respects me to the fullest, and still watches porn. Its a fantasy. I agree with whoever said you're probably 16. You're super immature. And a prude. Grow up.

Anonymous +2Reply
@@purplekneesox: You're a dumbass. Just because a guy watches porn doesn't mean he doesn't respect you. My man...

(boo.): The name-calling really doesn't help your case. I grew out of that habit in the 5th grade.

You apparently haven't read all that I've said, because I have answered your arguments above.

my mom has a saying my dad can 'look but not touch'

Anonymous +1Reply

... looking at it right now, that he complains about it with his friends and secretly resents it. Unfair expectations and hidden resentment are the root of all relationship problems, because they dig in and grow if allowed fertile ground. Listen or don't; I'm in a very happy long-term relationship, while I've watched everyone around me go through one disaster after another. I've seen a lot, and as a student of human nature I pay attention.

420Grrl +1Reply

I think it's dumb to expect guys to watch porn, that's giving them a free pass at no self-control. Sure everyone gets natural urges but if you can't control that you're not able to do a whole lot. Look into psychology before you say porn has no effects.

@LewisL LMAO!! Someone missed the point of the post, yes? Either a guy can be honest with you about how he looks at porn, or he can lie to you about how he looks at porn. I'm sure there are exceptions, mostly religious, but I'm pretty sure almost all other dudes want to look at a wee bit o'porn every now and then. Girls who really think that a guy quits porn for them for any significant(meaning: more than a few months) length of time are terribly naïve. You probably would have to find one who doesn't like it to begin with, and the older you get, the closer to impossible that will be unless you go the religious route.

Sox, I have to wonder, why does it "hurt" you? Are you jealous? Do you really think, actual porn present or not, that he thinks of you and only you when he jerks off? Is that what bothers you? Because no matter how hard you try, you can't take the porn in his brain. I can guarantee you, if he liked porn before he was with you and he actually isn't looki...

420Grrl 0Reply
@@LewisL LMAO!! Someone missed the point of the post, yes? Either a guy can be honest with you about how he looks...

It hurts me because porn isn't just pictures. They may not be able to touch the women, but it desensitizes a guy sexually. If a guy can't respect me enough not to do it, then he isn't a guy I'm going to be with. I've been with two guys who actually love/loved me, and quit because they knew it hurt me.
I'm aware that most guys have looked at porn at some point. I can't stop them from having sexual thoughts about other women at some point, and they most likely will. That's not the issue; it's the lack of respect I have a problem with. And any girl with respect for herself will wait to find a guy that will quit garbage like that. It's not an unfair expectation at all.

@Dude Sorry, I have this thing for being thorough xD plus I ramble when I'm high.

420Grrl 0Reply

It's ok you guys; Sox will grow into more realistic expectations, as we all do sooner or later. It looks like main problem is that she apparently sees sex as a dirty or shameful thing; otherwise, she wouldn't call people who enjoy performing sex acts for an audience or camera "trash" or claim that people who watch don't "respect themselves". Those of us who realize that it's probably our greatest natural gift realize that the freedom to explore and express one's sexuality in any way that doesn't infringe on anyone elses rights is crucial for good emotional development... and also, that there's nothing to be ashamed of =) no matter what revs your engine, there's someone else who likes it, and also someone who's probably freakier =P We should all just embrace what makes us happy and horny, and live fuller lives where we don't waste time judging others because of it =)

420Grrl 0Reply
@It's ok you guys; Sox will grow into more realistic expectations, as we all do sooner or later. It looks like main...

The indirect attack is cute.

To answer your jive: I see sex as a wonderful and natural thing. I actually never said anything about sex being bad or "shameful", at all, so I find it quite humorous that you are trying to put words in my mouth.

I lucked out and found a man who doesn't like porn:) We both love sex but he wants dirty pictures I send them to him and when he wants sex I give it to him. I have a higher sex drive than him anyways lol when he wants it I give it to him. He wakes up with the urge to have sex I am 100% willing to be woken up for it

Anonymous 0Reply
@I lucked out and found a man who doesn't like porn:) We both love sex but he wants dirty pictures I send them to...

If he knows you're up for it when he is, then he doesn't need porn. You have him and he has you. I hope you're happy together for a long time. =3

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply

Your logic is full of fallacy, actually... "desensitized", in that context, is a meaningless word. It's something unprovable, and commonly thrown around by people who feel like others should adhere to their morals. I'd like to know what evidence of being "desensitized" you've heard/read about? The only thing I can think of is, if a guy never sees a naked body but one, I suppose that body would be the be-all end-all of his sexual universe... for a little while. What you don't seem to understand is; show me someone who isn't getting what they want from their partner, and I'll show you someone who already is or would get it somewhere else, given the opportunity. At your age, a guy who doesn't have a connected computer in his own room and parents who aren't too nosey may not have a lot of access to porn, and may actually not be watching it while they date you. We're still talking extremely limited circumstances; short(in terms of your life) relationships, lack of access, privacy, ...

420Grrl 0Reply

...or both, and likelihood that any guy you date may still be a virgin. I'm assuming that some day, you'll want to take all that long-term, though... before that can happen sucessfully, you'll have to realize that no one can make permanent changes for someone else. You have to accept people for who they are, not who you tell them they have to be in order to be with you. Don't worry; I think most of us were idealistic like that at your age. I have guy friends of college age who are still dealing with it even, but that's about as far as it goes, outside religious circles.

420Grrl 0Reply

Oh and btw Sox... I wasn't putting words in your mouth, I was profiling you based on what you said, and as the other people seem to be seeing that too I really doubt I'm far off. You are obviously so repulsed by the idea of pornography that it's virtually impossible for you to have a healthy view of sexuality. People who don't see sex as dirty and shameful aren't generally so adamantly opposed to porn in general. You have contempt for specifically the women in porn, most likely because deep down you're jealous of their apparent freedom to be blatantly sexual and not care what people think. shrug you just have a lot of growing up to do, and hopefully along the way you'll gain some perspective and security in your sexuality.

Hey, some day soon, people will pay me a lot of money per hour for these kinds of insights =P you should take advantage.

420Grrl 0Reply
@Oh and btw Sox... I wasn't putting words in your mouth, I was profiling you based on what you said, and as the...

"you'll have to realize that no one can make permanent changes for someone else"

I beg to differ. ANYONE can make a huge change for someone else if they love them enough. It happens everyday. That's a pretty ignorant thing to say.

Not being desensitized doesn't mean that a guy has never seen a naked body in his life. It means that he isn't constantly feeding sexual garbage into his mind in order to achieve a sexual high.

I've never said anything about sex being a dirty or shameful thing, as you said I "obviously" believed. As I said before, I believe sex is a wonderful and healthy thing; however, thriving off sexual crap like porn makes a person a sexual dumpster.

So, you're saying that because I believe that a man only needs one woman for his sexual needs, "it's virtually impossible for [me] to have a healthy view of sexuality"? The unhealthy view of sexuality here is that porn is 'neccessary' for a man to live or to handle living a normal life. Simply because

@Oh and btw Sox... I wasn't putting words in your mouth, I was profiling you based on what you said, and as the...

I don't settle for less than a decent guy in my relationships does not mean that I don't have a healthy view. It's actually quite a bit healthier than saying that this is the way it is, no guy is ever going to change that for you, because porn is something no male can live without.

I find it humorous how you are trying to brush me off because of my age. There are plenty of adults who still do not have a healthy view of sex. In case you haven't noticed, teenagers in this day and age know more about sex than most adults. And, simply because you think I haven't had as much experience in that area, or whatever ignorant response you have, does not mean that it is so. If you want to sound at least mildly intelligent, you should probably get off your high horse of, "you still have a lot of growing up to do, so you obviously have no idea what you're talking about".

@PurpleKneeSox I don't settle for less than a decent guy in my relationships does not mean that I don't have a healthy view. It's...

First of all, you're admitting you're not even reading her arguement. 'or whatever ignortant response you have' is not something you say when you're trying to respond to something.

Secondly, you are 15, yet you're talking like you know relationships. How long has your longest serious relationship been? How many have you had? You can't say that you only settle for something until you know what you're settling for. A guy may say he'll do something, but people change over time, and unless you've experienced that, you've no right in brushing away your inexperience.

Thirdly, your lack of respect for women in porn. You view sex as a beautiful thing to be shared by a single person you love. By this view, I'm guessing you're religious. I could be wrong, but bare with me. In a religion, you love a single person for your entire life, and you stay with them. Most modern relationships don't do this. In fact, very few do. You need to think realistically.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ShadePawOT First of all, you're admitting you're not even reading her arguement. 'or whatever ignortant response you have' is...

What these women do are not the same as the sex you share with the one you love. I believe that they are different acts altogether, and to think them the same is to (for lack of a better term) insult the meaning of making love to the one you love. These women use their bodies for a purely physical enjoyment, and then they go home to perhaps their boyfriend or husband who respects them for what they do and they share their love in their own way.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ShadePawOT First of all, you're admitting you're not even reading her arguement. 'or whatever ignortant response you have' is...

Actually, I DID read her argument. I was referring to the ignorant response I anticipated she would conjure up to reply to the statement I made.

I don't speak of things I have no knowledge of. I have been told many times that I am mature for my age, and in addition to this, for my age I have more experience with relationships than most. To answer your question, my longest relationship was 8 months, and I have had 3. Within those relationships, I have met guys who are genuine and loving. I explained to them my standard, and they loved me enough to abide by it. My first doesn't look at porn anymore, outside of our relationship; not only because of me, but because he realized its negative effects. So, as I said above, I understand that such a man is rare. But, as I also said, I am holding out for those that love and respect MY self-respect.

Maybe I can help you to understand a different way... I have the same respect for porn stars that I would have for a whore or

@ShadePawOT First of all, you're admitting you're not even reading her arguement. 'or whatever ignortant response you have' is...

a prostitute, which is none. I view them in the same light, regardless of the fact that one is more well-known to the public than the other.

@PurpleKneeSox a prostitute, which is none. I view them in the same light, regardless of the fact that one is more well-known to...

Well, it's understandable you put these jobs together, but they're quite different. I won't go preaching about the differences, since all you care about is that they're essentially selling their bodies. I should have probably asked this before, but why do you disrespect them for doing this? To get an answer I'll be satisfied with, as you're typing, keep asking yourself, 'why do I think this? Do I have proof of this?'. It would help a lot more in this debate.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ShadePawOT Well, it's understandable you put these jobs together, but they're quite different. I won't go preaching about the...

"All you care about it that they're essentially selling their bodies."

Go back and read that a few times, and see if it clicks.

I don't have respect for prostitutes and for porn stars, BECAUSE they are selling their bodies. The female body, females, weren't meant to be displayed to the world and used up, wasted, as superficial objects of desire for innumerous men. As I said before, I believe that there is ONE man meant for ONE woman. The intimacy between ONLY two people is the best, most amazing kind of intimacy; it's based on love, not lust and superficial things. Porn is about nothing but lust, and it never satisfies in the end.

@PurpleKneeSox "All you care about it that they're essentially selling their bodies." Go back and read that a few times, and see...

It's not meant to satisfy in the same way true love can, it's meant to entertain and stimulate a purely physical response.

Secondly, you believe that there is ONE man for ONE woman. In this world of near 7 BILLION people, the chances of you finding your one man is very slim. The chances they'll be in the same country as you, even smaller. The more specific you make it, the less chance you'll find them. In time, you'll learn that you'll need to settle for less than perfect, or you'll almost never find that person you're looking for. That's not to say stop looking. It's more to say, you might not be looking for the right guy.

Thirdly, porn isn't just about females. There are men that do it too. I assume you hold the men in the same disrespect, but I'd just like to say that the womens bodies are not being 'wasted' as you say. Many porn actresses have boyfriends and husbands who share the love that you are talking about.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are -1Reply
@ShadePawOT It's not meant to satisfy in the same way true love can, it's meant to entertain and stimulate a purely physical...

Do you not think that providence might bring these two people together...? The right person will come along eventually, and yet you think it is ok to do whatever you want in the meantime? Turn your mind to sexual mush while waiting, simply because "the chances of you finding your one man is very slim"?

People get married every day. Sure, a lot of people don't hold out for the right person, and that's why the divorce rates are so high. But there ARE those that wait and have a truly intimate sex life, simply because they waited and didn't give in to sexual temptation in the meantime.

@PurpleKneeSox Do you not think that providence might bring these two people together...? The right person will come along...

First of all, porn doesn't turn your mind into 'sexual mush'. Anyone who has told you that is lying. Pure and simple. And no, you don't do whatever you want. You just satisfy yourself with something less. Secondly, if providence were true, then there wouldn't be such high rate of divorce, as people would find their 'one true partner'. So no, I don't think providence would bring these two people together. You have to find them yourself. Good luck. For all you know your perfect person frequently masturbates to porn, but their other qualities 'make up for it'. It's a minor detail in the big picture.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ShadePawOT First of all, porn doesn't turn your mind into 'sexual mush'. Anyone who has told you that is lying. Pure and...

Providence is to be blamed because people don't hold out for the right one and end up in divorce?

As I said, many times, it desensitizes a person to sexual things. At some point during that, sexuality stops being something special and sacred, something that is supposed to be saved for the person you love, and turns into loveless lust and objectifying.

That's true; my perfect person may masturbate to porn. But, if he is the person who will end up my husband, that will change. It doesn't bother me if a guy has done it in the past; most have at least a few times. It bothers me when they continue to do it, and when girls brush it off as if it's a neccessary thing for males to survive.

@PurpleKneeSox Providence is to be blamed because people don't hold out for the right one and end up in divorce? As I said, many...

No, I'm saying that lack of providence is to blame. People don't find the right person to begin with.

As I said, there is a difference between looking at porn and being with a person. Perhaps you're right with the desensitization, but that doesn't mean a person doesn't feel that sex is something special and sacred. Masturbating to porn is entirely different than sex with a partner. Masturbating is something you do purely for pleasure, and is done alone. The porn makes it even more so. Sex is something you share with another person, and its meaning is totally different in a way this comment box won't allow me to express, but I feel like I don't need to explain it to you, you seem the type to understand what I mean.

I could use the same logic on you. Perhaps when you find this perfect person who will end up your husband, you'll be willing to allow him to keep doing so. Who's to say he's the one to change and not you?

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ShadePawOT No, I'm saying that lack of providence is to blame. People don't find the right person to begin with. As I said...

To your last paragraph: I do... it's called standards.

I understand that actual sex is different from porn. It doesn't change the fact that porn desensitizes a person. Sure, sex may still feel special to the person; however. It's not as intimate and special as it could be; those who look at porn are lessening its value by constantly exposing themselves to sexual trash such as porn.

@PurpleKneeSox To your last paragraph: I do... it's called standards. I understand that actual sex is different from porn. It...

As you get older, as what you're looking for becomes clearer to you, standards change. Something like this may end up something that you may like, but isn't vital.

This isn't a perfect world. Things will go underappreciated, and it doesn't help if you disrespect those that, in your view, are doing something wrong. If you do, they have no reason to see things your way.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ShadePawOT As you get older, as what you're looking for becomes clearer to you, standards change. Something like this may end...

A lack of respect for the occupation is not equivalent to disrespect for the person. If I were to meet a porn star face to face, I would show him/her the same courtesy I show every human being, and love them for who they are. It's just the same way I feel about homosexuality; I believe what the person is doing is wrong, though that will not keep me from showing God's love to them. Love the sinner, hate the sin.

Standards often do change with time, and you may be correct. I doubt it, merely because for what some consider an extremely young and naive age, I understand much in this area. I might also pose the same question to you; who's to say that your standards or idea of what all people are like won't change at some point?
I can assure you that there are present, on this earth, men who do not look at porn, out of free will and a different level or kind of respect for women than some of the men on this website. Though some of my opponents here say that the

@ShadePawOT As you get older, as what you're looking for becomes clearer to you, standards change. Something like this may end...

majority of men look at porn and WILL look at porn regardless of how his significant other feels about it, there are actually MANY men that do not feel porn is a necessary part of their life. It is my goal, in this particular area of my life, to find such a man.

@PurpleKneeSox majority of men look at porn and WILL look at porn regardless of how his significant other feels about it, there...

Well, all I can really say to that is good luck searching for such a man. I wish you many happy tidings when you do.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply

If you are only 15 you know almost nothing about sex. You might know the basics and know what you like from those things but there is so much more for you to learn. I was with a guy and I was his first. He was, and still is, the best I have ever had. And he learned everything he knew from porn. And occasionally when were together we would watch it together. And yes, I may not enjoy it as much as he did, but I learned a few things as well. I have never met a man that changed his views about women after watching porn. If anything, they said it helped better their sex lives. So if your boyfriend lasts more than a minute in bed and can please you, thank the porn industry.

Anonymous 0Reply

@ilovethomas Um, no. Either you're unclear on the post, or you're delusional, but either way your cap-lock-heavy post doesn't settle anything. Lots of people in relationships watch porn, because most people are at least secure enough not to be jealous of impossible fantasies and not so uptight that they can't appreciate a little dirty fun.

Not that a 15 year old should be worrying about all that! You guys shouldn't even be concerned with the masturbatory habits of your bfs, honestly. But if anything I say helps somewhere down the line, you're welcome. =)

420Grrl 0Reply

Ha honestly that's completely ridiculous insinuating that my boyfriend doesn't respect me because he watches porn. Hell I've watched it with him, and often we make fun of the really ridiculous stuff we see. I'm comfortable enough to know that porn isn't going to change the way he feels about me. We've been dating 3 years, pretty sure we must be doing something right. And being 15, I can honestly say you have not even begun to understand serious sexual relationships or even guys for that matter. You have a long way to go.

Anonymous 0Reply

I'd like to know where you got your information on how porn makes guys think, because it sounds like some overly-feminist bullshit based on nothing. My husband likes porn, and he does not treat me like a kitchen-bound, sandwich-making baby factory. Not only do we a have a great, open, experimental sex life, he also does "women's" work around the house like dishes. Also, I known guys personally who either a) are early enough in the relationship to just feel grumbly and resentful about their girls not letting them have porn, or b)past the "doing what she says" point and looking at whatever they like... and having to lie about it. I've seen people break up because the girl was so uptight and insecure that she treated watching porn clips or having a penthouse between your mattresses as if it were actual infidelity.

I just hope that some day, either you'll mature enough to realize we adults were right, or at least some time when you're bemoaning the fact that you can...

420Grrl 0Reply

...can't find a "decent" guy, you'll remember you were told how it really was when you were kids, and you'll know you have only yourselves to blame for why you can't find anyone to meet your unfair and prudish expectations.

420Grrl 0Reply

@The_Machango Yep. Anyone who knows anything at all about psychology knows that NO ONE ever makes real, permanent changes unless THEY want to. They cannot do it for someone else.

I really only responded because the line "teenagers in this day and age know more about sex than most adults" made me LOL. That was like, the stereotypical stubborn-teen line, and I haven't heard it in awhile.

I don't usually offer personal information, but just do you know hun... I'm a Psych/Sociology double major, with a concentration in human sexuality, as I plan to be a sex therapist. So please, tell me how much more about sex, and human behavior, you know than I do.

420Grrl 0Reply

*so

420Grrl 0Reply

purplekneesox: you're going to have SUCH a rude awakening when you have to step out of your fantasy and into the real world. Good luck.

Anonymous 0Reply

Personally, I'm fine with it as long as you keep it to yourself. My ex would keep going on about how awesome certain porn videos were and I DID NOT WANT TO HEAR IT I HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOUR PORN LIFE I ALREADY HAVE MY OWN PORN LIFE I DO NOT NEED YOURS.

Hector_Prynnes avatar Hector_Prynne Yeah You Are 0Reply

Lol! What's wrong with porn? I'd rather a guy i'm with jack off to porn than jack off to something in his head he fantasised about, somehow that makes it a bit weird...

Anonymous -1Reply

My mom thinks that if I watch porn I'll become a serial killer/serial rapist! Hasn't happened yet, though! :D

Anonymous -1Reply

Anon 583557: So if the message of porn is that women only exist to fufill men's sexual needs... what about lesbian porn? A lot of guys watch that. What about femdom porn, when women turn men into their little bitches? What about most regular and softcore porn, where the entire object seems to be to pleasure the woman as much as possible(except during the bj scenes)? What about the fact that lots of women enjoy porn too, and may even have to hide it from their guys!?!

As the OP pointed out above me, what you say sounds valid on the surface, but when you take a minute to actually think about the situation, you realize men in porn are just as "exploited" or "objectified" as women, and your ideas don't make any sense. If ANYONE is taking something negative away from the porn industry, it's the producers and directors... not the talent(hehehe) or the audience.

Anonymous -1Reply

I think this just comes down to maturity. All these girls saying its bad and he doesn't respect her blah blah blah are younger than 15. When they grow up, they'll realize how unrealistic and stupid their views are. I'm pretty amazed at these girls. Hahaha. But really, we shouldn't even be having this conversation with dumb kids.

Anonymous -1Reply

its funny when someone is so ignorant to their own prude hipocritical ways. Ahahaha.

Anonymous -1Reply

@420Grrl: it makes me laugh too. They're both being completely stubborn about what people are trying to tell them. They're going to get a very rude awakening when they realize their dream world where a man doesn't watch porn and only fantasizes about them is...well, a dream! There is absolutely nothing wrong with watching porn. I've got an amazing relationship that's been going strong for 4 years today :) he watches porn. We've watched it together. These 15 year olds need to stay out of grown up conversations and stop acting like they know everything.. Oh, to be so young and naïve again. And I love how my phone put the dots over the i :)

Anonymous -1Reply

ShadePawOT: I highly doubt you're going to get anything but an ignorant defensive high strung I'm better than you so pffftt! Teenage response. :/ lol

Anonymous -1Reply

I beg to differ, lust satisfies just fine. As does love. And in a healthy adult relationship, both are needed. Seriously, reading through your responses on here...you're more immature than a lot of people your age. Whoever says you're mature is an idiot. You'll learn, eventually.

Anonymous -1Reply
@I beg to differ, lust satisfies just fine. As does love. And in a healthy adult relationship, both are needed...

Lust satisfies physical desires; however, in the end, those that have nothing more than lust are empty people. Love is the only true thing to fill a person's life.

And, if you didn't have the capability of assuming so, it was inferred that lust within true love is acceptable and fine.

I have read my responses many times. Simply because I am standing up for a point I strongly believe in, and with sound reasoning, does not give you the right to say I am immature. As a matter of fact, it denies your statement.

If you don't want to have to get upset that a guy is looking at trash like that, then find a better guy. It's not a hard concept.

@LewisL Yeah, just find a guy who doesn't like porn. Can't be too difficult.

It's not finding a guy that doesn't like porn that's the issue. It's finding a guy that respects me enough to not do something he knows hurts me. And I have actually found a decent guy, so.

@PurpleKneeSox It's not finding a guy that doesn't like porn that's the issue. It's finding a guy that respects me enough to not...

Porn is made by consentual adults who choose to do that with their bodies. They have fun, and they make money. I don't see what's so offensive about it. Women have the choice in how they treat their own bodies. I think we should respect that.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are +3Reply
@ShadePawOT Porn is made by consentual adults who choose to do that with their bodies. They have fun, and they make money. I...

You think I should respect a woman who shows herself in such a way for such a purpose? That's disgusting. There is no respect or honor in being a porn star.

@PurpleKneeSox You think I should respect a woman who shows herself in such a way for such a purpose? That's disgusting. There is...

Honour? Doubtful. Respect? Maybe. It takes a lot of effort and work into being a porn star. They choose to do this for entertainment. Saying you don't respect them is like saying you don't respect actors. They're doing the same thing, just in different ways.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are +3Reply
@ShadePawOT Honour? Doubtful. Respect? Maybe. It takes a lot of effort and work into being a porn star. They choose to do this...

Just because something takes a lot of work and effort does not make it a respectable thing. Pre-meditated murder also takes a lot of work and effort, by the way.
Putting porn stars in the category of 'actor' does not link them to that title. It does not make them respectable or commendable.

@PurpleKneeSox Just because something takes a lot of work and effort does not make it a respectable thing. Pre-meditated murder...

It's the same job though. They act for the camera for the entertainment of the people watching. That is acting. That is there job in which they perform. And there's a difference between respect and acceptance. You can dislike it and still respect it.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are +3Reply
@ShadePawOT It's the same job though. They act for the camera for the entertainment of the people watching. That is acting...

Sorry, but I have no respect for trashy women. You could also easily make the argument that when people are fake (with their "friends"), that it is acting and can be respected. There are a lot of things that fall under the category of acting, none of which are respectable, no matter how much work and effort is put into it.

@PurpleKneeSox Sorry, but I have no respect for trashy women. You could also easily make the argument that when people are fake...

Facepalm Porn doesn't make a guy lose respect for you. A man will respect a woman no matter what (with very very few expectations). Sure, it's fun to tell sexist jokes, they really are funny, but if you are hurt or need help with something, our inner man comes out and works its ways. We respect people in porn, amd they respect themselves. I was watching this segmant about the lives of them. Many of them wanted to do that since grade school, when they first porn. They said it makes them feel beautiful, and it's fun. Watching porn does not make you lose respect for your girlfriend or women... In fact, it shows us how beautiful and amazing the female body is and how great intercoarse is. Also, it's almost impossible to succdsfully fap without viewing ''trash''. We need it to fap, but don't need it for every fap. In other words, your need memories of previous videos you have seen (nobody faps to pictures anymore). Also, how is sex ''trash''?

@TheMachanga Facepalm Porn doesn't make a guy lose respect for you. A man will respect a woman no matter what (with very very...

Your logic is full of fallacy.

A guy may not say he has lost respect for a woman, but you can say anything; that doesn't make it true. If a woman wants him not to watch porn, then he will respect that and stop doing it if he truly respects and loves her.

"In fact, it shows us how beautiful and amazing the female body is and how great intercoarse is." *intercourse
Do I even need to say how ridiculous this statement is? No male, when masturbating to porn, is marveling at the beauty of the female body. He is thinking lust and of satisfying his sexual desires with trashy, slutty women on the internet. You know what would show us how beautiful and amazing the female body is? If girls would keep themselves and their beautiful bodies for one guy, that she loves, and not display her body openly and in a way that is meant only to arouse men. When women do that, it shows that that they have self control, respect for themselves and their bodies, as well as confidence in

@TheMachanga Facepalm Porn doesn't make a guy lose respect for you. A man will respect a woman no matter what (with very very...

who they are, and that they don't need to display themselves as a slut in order to "feel beautiful".

Actually, I never said that sex is trash. I said that porn is trash. Get your facts straight.

@PurpleKneeSox who they are, and that they don't need to display themselves as a slut in order to "feel beautiful". Actually, I...

There is a difference between acting and your example. Acting is portraying a character, their emotions and behaviours. Your example is just that person lying.

Also, you don't give men enough credit. You assume that every man who watches porn automatically assume that real girls will act like this. I don't even need to say how untrue this is.

Thirdly, women have fought tooth and nail for the right to choose their own jobs, to be considered equal and respected for what they do, no matter the job. In putting down these women who have chosen to use their bodies like this, you are only showing the double standards that women sometimes hold.

Furthermore, beauty is relative. You obviously find beauty in a nice conservative girl who is sure of herself and doesn't need to show off her body. For others, it may be that the more they show the better. The female body is a truly beautiful one, and some think that it's best expressed when a man and woman come together.

ShadePawOTs avatar ShadePawOT Yeah You Are 0Reply

ilovethomas: stfu. I'm guessing you're about 15 too? And a virgin? And have been with this thomas person like 3 months? Seriously. Kids need to stop commenting on posts they know nothing about. You can't have a good relationship with someone after telling them what they can and can't do. If dude wants to watch porn, he's going to. And really, the other option is that he's going to cheat. Believe it or not.

Anonymous -2Reply

I will end this arguement.. IF UR IN A RELATIONSHIP, NO WATCHY! IF UR NOT, GO RIIIIGHT AHEAD! you're welcome [:

@ilovethomas I will end this arguement.. IF UR IN A RELATIONSHIP, NO WATCHY! IF UR NOT, GO RIIIIGHT AHEAD! you're welcome [:

Both you and Purple Sox need to read both pages of the artical fully. http://www.askmen.com/dating/va...e_secrets.html

I also personally thing this Purple sox chick is the jealous type...

Anonymous