You have tried, and failed, to wash your face like they do on proactive commercials, amirite?

Water.

Everywhere.

Water gets in your nose and in your eyes and all up in your shit and it's just not a good time.

It doesn't look very effective

I've also tried the Covergirl thing, like the slow motion spin where you say "Easy, breezy, beautiful" but I just ended up with a mouthful of hair. Gross.