I think that it can be part of effective parenting. But if ALL you do is spank? That's never going to work. I got spanked maybe 5 times in total and I've turned out pretty well. I also got grounded and had some privileges taken away when it was warranted. So I guess for me, it was a combination of several things that I think worked.
Also, there is a difference between spanking and hitting.
i agree. i got spanked as a child, and i have to say i probably deserved it. my almost 4 year old nephew doesnt get spanked he gets a "talkin to" and he IMMEDIATLY does what got him into trouble in the first place, he thinks its cute. If you spank them, they will associate whatever they did wrong with pain (not a lot of pain just a sting but it still hurts and they will get oh this makes them unhappy). its stupid to expect a child to be on the same wave leangth as you and understand what you are talking about and think what they did is wrong for the same reasons you do. a talking to is good good when they called a peer a mean name or the first time they threw the ball in the house. a spanking is good when the keep on throwing the ball in your house after several talking tos and disrespecting you.
precisely! For things that don't endanger the kids health or life, a talking to is perfect, the first time. If they do it again then i think it's pretty obvious that getting a warning or being shouted at doesn't work!
Ok people, let's look at this practically! If your toddler is about to stick their finger in an electric socket, are you going to sit there with them and explain the pros, cons and subsequent consequences of their actions, or give their hand a sharp slap to stop them? Even if you shouted at a toddler "don't do that" do you really think that 100% of them will listen? Personally, i wouldn't want to risk that my toddler's in the percentage who don't listen.
next thing you know, they're gonna consider a "stern talking to" as verbal abuse and try to outlaw that. Face the facts people, humans (especially kids) are simple creatures. They don't understand a thing unless they get a spank.
I was spanked fairly often as a child. Maybe once every two weeks or so. Its hard to tell because I was so young. There were 4 children in my family, and my mother would get angry over something and spank us. As a young child, I thought she enjoyed it. My father, however, would explain to us every time why what we did was wrong, and tell us that he loved us. Afterwards, we got a hug and maybe some ice cream. That is the proper way to spank children. I got toys taken away occasionally, and I remember crying all night about it and wishing I had been spanked.
YES I KNOW!! my friends mom goes to mommy toddler group things and when she said "dont make me spank you" they kicked her out! its not like shes hitting him with a bat or something, and the spanking feels like a pat on the back!
I'm 17, and my mother stills "spanks" me. I guess, it should be embarrassing, but she continuously hits me over and over with a belt for things like leaving a pack of paper towels out of the closet, or putting closed captions on the television, or if I give her a look with "attitude," or if she's in a particularly bad mood and I'm annoying her. I'm pretty sure she crossed the line into abuse a long time ago.
there are so many people saying they were spanked as a kid and turned out okay.
well, i wasn't spanked as a kid and i still turned out okay. I'm happy my parents didn't spank me because they didn't need to, and who knows how i would've grown up if they had.
still, i don't think spanking should be considered abuse. i wish my aunt and uncle spanked my cousin, she's growing into a little brat.
well, my parents have slapped me once or twice, but it just pissed me off.
"Spanking your child when they're being bad or disrespectful should not be considered abuse." that would be better because when you hit a child not out of discipline it becomes wrong.
I think it depends on the individual kid. Some kids actually do listen after being told off, but some might need something a little more physical (nothing drastic).
It's not like you're hitting them so it hurts. When I was spanked it didn't hurt but it was more like the shock of it that made you stop what you were doing. So no, it's not abuse. If you leave bruises and do it all of the time that's a different story.
I'm not going to argue- I think what's different is just how you define abuse. Without being too detailed, I think abuse is causing a kid pain, so spanking's abuse, but I see what you mean.
There are other, better, more effective ways to discipline children- even children who do really bad stuff. So no, spanking isn't really good. Besides, it's just weirder on older kids who would rebell anyways.
its better than giving your kid a stern talking to, have everything you say go in one ear and out the other, and have them still think what they did to get the stern talking to is ok.
why would they think that what they did is okay? if you tell them that it's wrong and explain why they will know not to do it again and if they do give them a time out or something
spanking is just for people who are too lazy for actual parenting
its really really really dumb to expect a child to be on the same wave leangth as you and actually understand where youre comeing from and think what they did is wrong for the same reasons you do.
That's a load of bologna. I got spanked as a kid and I turned out fine. I'm not particularly violent, and I don't plan on going to war, shooting anyone, or fighting people.
How can you disagree with a study?
That's like saying, "Well, this study says that more people die from suicide in the war than actually being killed, but I disagree."
I disagree with the studies because those "studies" are mostly opinion based. Death is factual and can be counted in numbers, whereas a study on spanking is formed on opinion based research. If you go into it thinking that spanking makes kids aggressive, then you will find and pay more attention to the kids that showed signs of aggression over those that did not.
I got spanked a few times as a child.
I'm not violent.
A swat on the rear meant that I did something very bad, so I learned not to do that action. It didn't make me mad at the time, I was more ashamed for doing something I wasn't suppsoed to.
I know that at the age of 3 or 4 I would not have taken whatever may parents told me not to do to heart. I was a little kid. I wouldn't have understood why it was wrong. A slap, not very hard, to the backside made me think, "Oh. Better not to that again. Mom is not happy."
Then, until I could understand why what I was doing was wrong, in the same situation I would not do the same thing because I remembered that the swat was unpleasant.
If you just continuously spank your child for their misdeeds, they'll get used to it.
The thing about punishing is that you always need new tactics, otherwise they'll find out how to make it so that the punishment isn't as bad. They'll find ways to make themselves occupied and they'll stop caring about your feelings as they grow into teenagehood.
And I don't like violent punishments. They're harsh on a child, mentally. They may keep them at hold for the time being, but it changes them. Just a small, bad thing in someone's childhood can change them dramatically, and if you really can't think of another punishment other than spanking, then frankly, you will suck at parenting.
There are plenty of other forms of punishment.
I did not say I wasn't punished in other ways.
When I was spanked, which was very few times, it was strictly once in a while and only if I did something that I REALLY wasn't supposed to.
I do not rebell against my parents and I am very well behaved.
Personally, I think we don't see eye to eye. I think the world is getting too soft and sensitive.
If spanking a kid once or twice in their childhood is considered "child abuse" I don't know what the world has come to.
It's like saying that washing a child's mouth out with soap when they swear is abuse.
It's just teaching a lesson, and it's not very harsh.
Obviously there are limits on spanking. If it is too frequent or painful for the child, it should be abuse. But as for once in a while? Not at all.
shto??? haha :)
oh, ya ponela.
bahaha. :D
i agree. but if all they do is hit you and nothing else, then yea its abuse.
No, it shouldn't. But at the same time I don't think it's effective parenting either.
I think that it can be part of effective parenting. But if ALL you do is spank? That's never going to work. I got spanked maybe 5 times in total and I've turned out pretty well. I also got grounded and had some privileges taken away when it was warranted. So I guess for me, it was a combination of several things that I think worked.
Also, there is a difference between spanking and hitting.
i agree. i got spanked as a child, and i have to say i probably deserved it. my almost 4 year old nephew doesnt get spanked he gets a "talkin to" and he IMMEDIATLY does what got him into trouble in the first place, he thinks its cute. If you spank them, they will associate whatever they did wrong with pain (not a lot of pain just a sting but it still hurts and they will get oh this makes them unhappy). its stupid to expect a child to be on the same wave leangth as you and understand what you are talking about and think what they did is wrong for the same reasons you do. a talking to is good good when they called a peer a mean name or the first time they threw the ball in the house. a spanking is good when the keep on throwing the ball in your house after several talking tos and disrespecting you.
precisely! For things that don't endanger the kids health or life, a talking to is perfect, the first time. If they do it again then i think it's pretty obvious that getting a warning or being shouted at doesn't work!
Depends on how old the kid is
Ok people, let's look at this practically! If your toddler is about to stick their finger in an electric socket, are you going to sit there with them and explain the pros, cons and subsequent consequences of their actions, or give their hand a sharp slap to stop them? Even if you shouted at a toddler "don't do that" do you really think that 100% of them will listen? Personally, i wouldn't want to risk that my toddler's in the percentage who don't listen.
next thing you know, they're gonna consider a "stern talking to" as verbal abuse and try to outlaw that. Face the facts people, humans (especially kids) are simple creatures. They don't understand a thing unless they get a spank.
It depends. As I child, I got spanked. Not very often, and not very hard. Frankly, I preferred it to time-out.
If spanking is not used in excess or too force full and the child is clear on what they are being punished for then it is not abuse.
I was spanked fairly often as a child. Maybe once every two weeks or so. Its hard to tell because I was so young. There were 4 children in my family, and my mother would get angry over something and spank us. As a young child, I thought she enjoyed it. My father, however, would explain to us every time why what we did was wrong, and tell us that he loved us. Afterwards, we got a hug and maybe some ice cream. That is the proper way to spank children. I got toys taken away occasionally, and I remember crying all night about it and wishing I had been spanked.
YES I KNOW!! my friends mom goes to mommy toddler group things and when she said "dont make me spank you" they kicked her out! its not like shes hitting him with a bat or something, and the spanking feels like a pat on the back!
It really depends on the situation.
I'm 17, and my mother stills "spanks" me. I guess, it should be embarrassing, but she continuously hits me over and over with a belt for things like leaving a pack of paper towels out of the closet, or putting closed captions on the television, or if I give her a look with "attitude," or if she's in a particularly bad mood and I'm annoying her. I'm pretty sure she crossed the line into abuse a long time ago.
I think it's fine as long as they don't do it out of anger. I once got spanked really hard because I wouldn't apologize to my dad for something.
i personally wish i was spanked more.
i'm the youngest, and i know i was spoiled.
i dont even know what i would turn out to be if i was NEVER spanked.
there are so many people saying they were spanked as a kid and turned out okay.
well, i wasn't spanked as a kid and i still turned out okay. I'm happy my parents didn't spank me because they didn't need to, and who knows how i would've grown up if they had.
still, i don't think spanking should be considered abuse. i wish my aunt and uncle spanked my cousin, she's growing into a little brat.
well, my parents have slapped me once or twice, but it just pissed me off.
I've never gotten spanked and I've turned out well, so I don't think spanking is needed, or right, in that case.
YUp
"Spanking your child when they're being bad or disrespectful should not be considered abuse." that would be better because when you hit a child not out of discipline it becomes wrong.
As long as parent's don't haul off and overdo it, yeah.
I think it depends on the individual kid. Some kids actually do listen after being told off, but some might need something a little more physical (nothing drastic).
It is abuse- you're physically punishing your child to discipline them. You never hit kids, regardless the age or whatever they've done.
It's not like you're hitting them so it hurts. When I was spanked it didn't hurt but it was more like the shock of it that made you stop what you were doing. So no, it's not abuse. If you leave bruises and do it all of the time that's a different story.
I'm not going to argue- I think what's different is just how you define abuse. Without being too detailed, I think abuse is causing a kid pain, so spanking's abuse, but I see what you mean.
What if they've done someting very bad?
Like throw stones at someone or call someone a "nigger".
1 spank would be sutiable for a situation like that. It teaches them not to do it.
There are other, better, more effective ways to discipline children- even children who do really bad stuff. So no, spanking isn't really good. Besides, it's just weirder on older kids who would rebell anyways.
violence doesn't solve anything you're just teaching your child that it can
its better than giving your kid a stern talking to, have everything you say go in one ear and out the other, and have them still think what they did to get the stern talking to is ok.
why would they think that what they did is okay? if you tell them that it's wrong and explain why they will know not to do it again and if they do give them a time out or something
spanking is just for people who are too lazy for actual parenting
its really really really dumb to expect a child to be on the same wave leangth as you and actually understand where youre comeing from and think what they did is wrong for the same reasons you do.
then give them a time out that always works on supernanny they still get the message
facepalm
its really funny how your voting up your own stupid comments.
Spanking a child makes them grow up more violent.
And I don't want anymore war or gunshots or deaths or fights.
So how about no.
That's a load of bologna. I got spanked as a kid and I turned out fine. I'm not particularly violent, and I don't plan on going to war, shooting anyone, or fighting people.
I shouldn't say violent, but aggressive.
http://www.nospank.net/straus.htm
http://www.neatorama.com/2010/0...re-aggressive/
http://www.associatedcontent.co...g2.html?cat=25
I wouldn't even say that I'm particularly aggressive. I don't agree with any of these studies, but if you do, that's your prerogative.
How can you disagree with a study?
That's like saying, "Well, this study says that more people die from suicide in the war than actually being killed, but I disagree."
I disagree with the studies because those "studies" are mostly opinion based. Death is factual and can be counted in numbers, whereas a study on spanking is formed on opinion based research. If you go into it thinking that spanking makes kids aggressive, then you will find and pay more attention to the kids that showed signs of aggression over those that did not.
I'm not violent.
I got spanked a few times as a child.
I'm not violent.
A swat on the rear meant that I did something very bad, so I learned not to do that action. It didn't make me mad at the time, I was more ashamed for doing something I wasn't suppsoed to.
There are better punishments than a slap to the rear that are more efficient and are better long-term.
Like what? A stern talking to?
I know that at the age of 3 or 4 I would not have taken whatever may parents told me not to do to heart. I was a little kid. I wouldn't have understood why it was wrong. A slap, not very hard, to the backside made me think, "Oh. Better not to that again. Mom is not happy."
Then, until I could understand why what I was doing was wrong, in the same situation I would not do the same thing because I remembered that the swat was unpleasant.
I'd say that it's a pretty long term punishment.
If you just continuously spank your child for their misdeeds, they'll get used to it.
The thing about punishing is that you always need new tactics, otherwise they'll find out how to make it so that the punishment isn't as bad. They'll find ways to make themselves occupied and they'll stop caring about your feelings as they grow into teenagehood.
And I don't like violent punishments. They're harsh on a child, mentally. They may keep them at hold for the time being, but it changes them. Just a small, bad thing in someone's childhood can change them dramatically, and if you really can't think of another punishment other than spanking, then frankly, you will suck at parenting.
There are plenty of other forms of punishment.
I did not say I wasn't punished in other ways.
When I was spanked, which was very few times, it was strictly once in a while and only if I did something that I REALLY wasn't supposed to.
I do not rebell against my parents and I am very well behaved.
Personally, I think we don't see eye to eye. I think the world is getting too soft and sensitive.
If spanking a kid once or twice in their childhood is considered "child abuse" I don't know what the world has come to.
It's like saying that washing a child's mouth out with soap when they swear is abuse.
It's just teaching a lesson, and it's not very harsh.
Obviously there are limits on spanking. If it is too frequent or painful for the child, it should be abuse. But as for once in a while? Not at all.
I'm not violent. Fights and such are something I hate. Spanking is a form of discipline.