It's hard to believe that dogs don't go to heaven, amirite?

well if you're christian, all you need is God. he does say to let go of worldy things.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Heaven is supposed to be great for each and every person there, so if somebody who really loves their dog didn't have it there, it would not be heaven. But, hey. I guess it's what you believe and what you don't. :/

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Not when you believe no one goes to heaven.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Um, you do realize people go to heaven all the time, right?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Obviously, as all of us living people would know.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Its in the bible...?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

@Anonymous - Yeah dude, I just got a text from my bro who's up in the heaven. He says he's just chillin' with Jesus and shit... Seems legit.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Are you being sarcastic?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Are YOU being sarcastic?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Are you BEING sarcastic?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Are you being SARCASTIC?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

And this is why I can't have atheist friends. Sorry, but y'all are so sarcastic like allll the time.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Do you realize how biggoted you sound? That's like me saying "this is why i can't have religious friends because they're all as dumb as you"

by Anonymous 11 years ago

If I wasn't convinced you were a troll before... Also, people tend to regard me as one of the most sarcastic people they've ever met and I enjoy me some Jesus. Just sayin'.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Nah, bro, I'm talking about some serious shit. He sent it from his new iPhone and everything. See, I know Heaven is totally legit because normally he only had a shitty Samsung, but since he was real good and all Jesus was like "Bro, I'mma buy you a motherfucking iPhone."

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Its not being bigoted it's just from personal experience! All the Christians I know are like really nice and want the best for everyone, and all the atheists are meet are just sarcastic dicks who don't take anything seriously.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Jesus has better things to do than make phones appear...

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Ah, like continue to allow all the wars, racism, and poverty (just to name a few) to exist in this world?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

He knows that people in poverty and war would rather be in Heaven than in that situation. Like, wouldn't you?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Jesus can do whatever he wants, Anon. He's //Jesus//. If he wants to give YeahIAm's bro an iPhone then he can. Ain't no one gon' say anything.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Well seeing as heaven doesn't exist imo, I can't really answer that question.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Bitch, he didn't just make it appear, although that would be some pretty hardcore shit. He went over to WalMart with his 10% off coupon and tried to buy the iPhone. But it turned out his coupon had expired and he got super pissed and was all like "Bitch, I'm motherfucking Jesus. I'm not gonna pay the full damn price." But then the cashier was all like "Dude, you look frickin' homeless. You ain't Jesus." But then Jesus did some magical shit where he turned his water bottle he brought so he wouldn't get tired on the walk to the store into a bottle of wine, and the cashier was all like "Damn bro, I guess you are Jesus." And then she gave him the iPhone for free!

by Anonymous 11 years ago

That's really disrespectful. Just because you don't like Jesus doesn't mean you're allowed to tell stupid stories making fun of Him

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I love Jesus and I found that to be a great story. Plus, how is it making fun of him? If anything, it's showing what a great guy he is, I'm just sayin'.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

What are you talking about? Why would I make fun of my bro Jesus?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Yeah don't go bullying Jesus, wow.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

How is it not disrespectful? Yeahiam is clearly being sarcastic (PROBABLY CAUSE HES AN ATHEIST DICK LIKE I SAID) and Jesus doesn't just go to Walmart :/

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Oh, I'm sorry, is Jesus one of your friends that you hang out with on a regular basis?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

So you know where Jesus shops now? What, is he too good for Walmart?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Also, my //pastor// has told stories like this. Is somebody that lives and breathes the word of God disrespecting Jesus?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

yes, He is a friend! Jesus has and always will be my best friend and my holy Father. And Jesus doesn't need to shop at Walmart or otherwise.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Well, obviously, I meant that you go shopping with and stuff. I have to say though, Jesus seems more like a Target man.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Your pastor is probably trying so hard to seem cool & relatable to the kids that he's risking eternal damnation. Congratulations, your pastors an idiot.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Jesus is always wish me when I shop.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

You just called a pastor an idiot. That's pretty bad.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Oh, so YOU'RE too good for Walmart. I SEE HOW IT IS.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I dont care I respect Jesus to much to respect your if he does that. this is not a joking matter

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Well yeah, Walmart probably gives off diseases and stuff. It's gross. But that's like not relevant at all

by Anonymous 11 years ago

You're right, I'm sorry. After doing some hardcore internet research, I've learned some pretty devastating news that's gonna affect where I shop from now on. It seems that in January, when Jesus was on his weekly shopping routine, the local WalMart had some "lowest prices in town" guarantee. So Jesus was all like "Fuck yeah!" and set out shopping. But then he saw the Xbox he was buying for his bro Peter was like $500. So he went up to the manager and was like "Bitch, this shit was only like $400 at Target. What the fuck is up?" And then the manager made some lazy-ass excuse that Target could sell things at lower prices because they sent all their jobs over to China and if he wanted to support America he should shop at Walmart. But then Jesus was all like "Bitch, I don't give a damn about who gets the jobs, I just want cheap shit. Besides, what about the motherfucking guarantee?" And every since, he's been shopping at Target.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

So, a PASTOR //doesn't// respect Jesus? Somebody that SPREADS THE WORD OF GOD FOR A LIVING?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Jesus doesn't even talk like that, what's wrong with you

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Well most of them do just probs not yours, sorry

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Bitch, you think you know how Jesus talks? That bro of mine knows how to adapt to the times.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

The sad part of this is that YeahIAm is the only one making sense with his lovely stories of Jesus and friends.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

JESUS IS NOT YOUR BRO AN MAYBE IF YOU TALKED TO HIM A LITTLE MORE YOU WOULD NOT THAT.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Bitch, I just hung out with him on Friday and we watched Inception together. The whole time he was just like "What the fuck is going on? Damn it, bro, I don't get this movie! MINDFUCK! MINDFUCK!" Then we got totally wasted off his premium wine water and he started ballin' and telling me about this one bitch of his, Mary, that dumped him for some asswipe from Nigeria.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Ok now that's definitely the stupidest thing I've ever heard, Jesus doesn't watch movies especially ones with sinning in them. You lose.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

DAMN IT GUYS MY COVERS BEEN BLOWN.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

OH YOU.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Well it's been fun. I lack a talent for this so don't expect me back, but you tell kickass stories so I give you my applause. On that note I'm going to bed. Have a nice night friends.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

It seems I've wasted all of my stories of Jesus and friends on a troll.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Just become friends with somebody named Jesus and write down everything he does. Then you can write a book called Jesus and Friend and the cover picture can be a Mexican guy with a Jesus-beard.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Hey man, I recommend just spreading them around the office, schoolyard, wherever. Even if the conversation isn't religious. Because I mean, everyone loves a good story involving deitys and Walmart.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Friend: "I just can't believe she dumped me..." Me: "That reminds me of this one time when Jesus was shopping at Walmart..."

by Anonymous 11 years ago

"Dude, holy shit, look at my new iPhone." "Speaking of 'holy' and 'iPhones'..."

by Anonymous 11 years ago

"Hey man, we should do something tonight." "Oh yeah, we should rent a movie. Like inception! Ah man, last time I watched that..."

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Oh poor little anon. You don't belong on this website do you..? You actually don't belong on the internet period.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

@Giggity: You realize this is a TROLL IN THE DUNGEON, right?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

YeahIAm was trolling the anon. Anon seemed kinda serious.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Well Koala was going Anon trolling, and she accidentally didn't go Anon as seen a few posts above. And that just means the trolling was at least somewhat successful :p

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Oh damn I didn't see that part. That was kind of lame trolling though since they were trolling each other...

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Well not at the very beginning... But it was still entertaining to read :p

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Nothing like some good old double sided trolling.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

No koala. Yeahiam thought you were a troll earlier and trolled you back. This makes you a cannibal troll.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I feel like that's pretty much what I meant, but with way cooler wording.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Search troll on knowyourmeme and you'll learn all about cannibal trolls.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Took me a second to understand once I read about it, but I get what you're saying now.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

This is the greatest thread ever.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

OUR DOGS WILL GO TO HEAVEN!

by Anonymous 11 years ago

the topics: pets and equal rights hehe

by Anonymous 11 years ago

A movie told me that All Dogs Go to Heaven... wary

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I used to love that movie!

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Me too. I watched it the other day with some friends. It... it wasn't the same as when I was four.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

A lot of people believe dogs go rainbow bridge. Its a place where they wait until their owners arrive and then they cross the bridge into heaven

by Anonymous 11 years ago

It's easy to see heaven in general as wish-fulfillment. But that doesn't mean it isn't true. There could be a heaven, but who can know for sure? Same goes for God (I don't think there could be one without the other). Also, most secular ideas of heaven have very little grounding in any religious tradition.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

This, to me, is evident of how much the users on this site just need to loosen the fuck up and chill the fuck out. Crack a bottle and light a spliff. Whatever you need to do, just make sure it opens your eyes and makes you realise that your existence is not subject to a religious (or, as I would have it, //opinionated//) debate on some goddamn website with who-knows-whom.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Kruger, this is one of my favourite comments ever!

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Dogs go to heaven; Bitches go to Hell - Jesus Christ

by Anonymous 11 years ago