+1,002 The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.", amirite?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

and nearly from ricky gervais...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Ricky's Reaction: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://jamesboylan.org/wp-content/plugins/rss-poster/cache/0ab4b_ht_gervais_10_sc_110705_wg.jpg&imgrefurl=http://jamesboylan.org/%3Fp%3D829&usg=__dFieLfjULVvl4J97rLU0Wz9X3bU=&h=360&w=640&sz=35&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=5vhsWodsbb1hcM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=160&ei=oe8cTorjI8SU0gHH4PntBw&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dricky%2Bgervais%2Bfunny%2Bpose%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1276%26bih%3D683%26tbm%3Disch&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=273&vpy=97&dur=6729&hovh=168&hovw=300&tx=176&ty=82&page=1&ndsp=28&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&biw=1276&bih=683

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I love him... i actually remember that exact episode where he said it

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You're right! You are wrong! Wait...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You're Ninja. You're not Ninja. Wait... ARE YOU A FUCKING NINJA OR NOT?!?!?!?!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Probably...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Probably...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Quantum mechanics would say he's a superposition of being a ninja and not being a ninja.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Schrödinger's ninja?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Screw you all! I thought of it myself! http://www.smnnews.com/WP/wp-content/1christ-middle-finger-300x298.jpg

by Anonymous 13 years ago

obviously you didn't...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

ya i did! ur just saying that cuz ur gay!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I wish i were you anonymous

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Anon could possibly be Jerry Sienfield

by Anonymous 13 years ago

What does sexuality have to do with this?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well obviously all homosexuals are always wrong, all the time. Didn't you know that? Seriously, what are they teaching you in schools these days?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That 1+1=3. Public education FTW!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Americans who think all Americans are stupid/ignorant and just drink and party all the time, are worse than those other Americans. That's one reason I like living in New Zealand. And BTW, I was just trolling with the anonymous stuff. It's just a character I like to play from time to time.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Shameless post promotion: http://www.amirite.net/459956

by Anonymous 13 years ago

lawl

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Ever seen the big ones? Don't mess with those.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

http://reallyfunnypictures.co.uk/interesting/pics/09.06.07/madpocketknife.jpg If someone took that bad-boy out, I'd run. Fast.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

(Your+name+(optional)): Is that Chuck Norris's personal swiss army knife?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Ya he keeps it as a pet. An all-purpose pet.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No, that's his toenail clipper.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

his tooth picks...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Wow. I love it when I go anon for a post and it gets homepaged.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

http://seobullshit.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/bullshit_detector4.gif

by Anonymous 13 years ago

http://ctrlv.in/29488

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well slap my ass and call me Jimmy. She ain't lyin'!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Sheesh Brett not everyone is like you....

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'll do that second thing but I won't do that first thing...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

you must be REALLY loving it now, huh?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You'd be surprised how easy it is to kill someone with a toe clipper when they're busy laughing at you.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Come here, let me just clip your toe nails... AHA! I gave you a small cut on your big toe! Now you will feel pain while walking!" "Oh no! What a minor inconvenience. frown"

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Haha! Now I can run away from you without fear of you chasing me! And I know you wont shoot me with your gun out of fear of getting the rougher end of my keychain flashlight!"

by Anonymous 13 years ago

500 years without war mostly due to get the mountains that surround them.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

http://www.myfacewhen.com/108/

by Anonymous 13 years ago

useless meme for the situation ^ http://myfacewhen.com/260/

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well they could use the corkscrew to gouge the enemies eyes out...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Stand still a sec... Almost... Yeah got it!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Ok now the other eye!" "I don't know if I can stay conscious for that long, this pain is very excruciating."

by Anonymous 13 years ago

L! how is this shit POTD?! real talks, anthony, go stab yourself with a fork.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

*spoon

by Anonymous 13 years ago

*toe clippers

by Anonymous 13 years ago

*tweezers

by Anonymous 13 years ago

*Combo Breaker

by Anonymous 13 years ago

... God dammit Albie.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

This is a runon sentence sir/beautiful woman.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Get by him? The guy behind him has a toothpick. That's right, back off."

by Anonymous 13 years ago

MINI SCISSORS! Just wait- in two hours, I'll have broken the skin! Can you believe it? That's an improvement.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Just wait one second while I come over to you! I have to walk slowly with these things! Safety first!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I need top keep the sharp point in my fist. If I trip, they could stab me in the eye! *gasp*

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Okay. I've been training for this my whole life! Let's go! *trips* NO!!! DAMNIT!!!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Swiss bank robbery: *Robber passes note to clerk.* *clerk reads the following: I have a nail clipper. Give me all you got." He's still being searched for and is currently in possession of 30 million.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That explains why Swiss banks are so trustworthy

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Toe clippers? So it clips off whole toes instead of nails? That's actually pretty damaging.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It would ruin a person's balance...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Except it would be pretty difficult to use, without the person wondering why someone is bending down at their feet clipping at their toes.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Reminds me of "I'll kill you with my teacup"

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I thought of "I once killed a man using only his own mustache and a grape."

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That's pretty a pretty badasterick way to kill somebody.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Badasterick is a pretty badasterick word.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

From where?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The Chronicles of Riddick

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why would Switzerland attack people when they can just chill at home? Why attack Switzerland when you can't see what they are doing?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

They could also throw their chocolate and cheese at people. The people who are allergic will melt, and the people who aren't allergic will eat the chocolate and cheese and call it a truce.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

what if they poison the chocolate and cheese?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Then they all melt. Don't you know physics?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I know psychics. They say this won't turn out well for you... ... Also you have butt cancer.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

(Chauncy Pickles): My honest reaction to that is... <:-/ That's kinda creepy. And something a magic eight ball could tell me.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

But does that magic eight ball have a medical degree that it could very well have printed off the internet?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

(Chauncy Pickles): If I print off a medical degree for it, it will.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That's all I wanted to hear. y

by Anonymous 13 years ago

WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE FRIENDS?!?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Cos Facebook only allows 5000.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Sounds like the grounds for a war... It's over when only five thousand are left standing... wary

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Especially if the Swiss talk to their enemies as comrades? "buddy", okay, makes sense there's no war goin on over in those parts.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

They'd have a hell of a time getting through airport security with those items.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

i made the score 666 :O!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I like how the post implies that armies only fight with the country's respective knife.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"And that last guy? Sure, he looks unarmed, but he's carrying our secret weapon: Cheese."

by Anonymous 13 years ago