The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.", amirite?
"Haha! Now I can run away from you without fear of you chasing me! And I know you wont shoot me with your gun out of fear of getting the rougher end of my keychain flashlight!"
"TIME TO GET OUT MY TOE NAIL CLIPPERS! ...That's a saw. No no, that's the bottle opener... I don't even know what the fuck that is... just hold still while I sort this out please..."
They're very multipurpose, which makes them perfect for the coming of the zombie apololipse (spelling...). They can pry stuff open, blunt force trauma... plus, hey, the Joker used one on Jason Todd, and that counts for SOMETHING
Swiss bank robbery: Robber passes note to clerk.
*clerk reads the following: I have a nail clipper. Give me all you got."
He's still being searched for and is currently in possession of 30 million.
Well I imagine it was like, "Canada wants independence? Sure, that's cool." "The American colonies want independence? What, no way! We make money off of them and stuff! Who else will buy our crappy tea!?!?!?"
They could also throw their chocolate and cheese at people. The people who are allergic will melt, and the people who aren't allergic will eat the chocolate and cheese and call it a truce.
Americans who think all Americans are stupid/ignorant and just drink and party all the time, are worse than those other Americans. That's one reason I like living in New Zealand.
And BTW, I was just trolling with the anonymous stuff. It's just a character I like to play from time to time.
They thought I (as Anon) was serious, and I acted like a complete idiot, so I consider that a success. Either way, I enjoy trolling, and it doesn't really matter if I do something I'm not good at.
My comment had a few likes until someone decided to insult it (influence). Can't people just be nice to each other on the internet (trolling doesn't count as being mean because you don't mean it)? I know it's the only place some people have confidence because it's anonymous, but that doesn't mean you have to be a douche. And I would've said this even if it was someone else's comment, but I don't really keep track of what happens to other people's comments.
The internet, not just amirite... and that's not the reason you use the internet. You probably use it to entertain yourself or educate yourself, like most people do, but some also take it as a temporary self-esteem plus (without knowing it). Confidence is a weird subject to everybody. No one wants to seem like they're insecure or a pussy. But just because you're uncomfortable talking about it and then you laugh it off, doesn't mean it's not true.
You may mock it, but it's true. For most people they are confident in real life, but for some they are insecure and act like complete douchebags and grammar nazis, so they feel like they have to put someone else down and be cynical from time to time. They strive for undeserved internet fame by trashing others to get to the top. That's not the way it's done.
If you wanna criticize how I don't know how to be famous: I'm not famous on amirite or youtube, but I strive to make good content with innovative FX on youtube sometime (whether you believe in me or not idc) but I am saving up now for a Canon 7D, microphone, etc. And on amirite I made good quality posts, not just random depserate posts all the time, and for a couple of days, they stormed onto the home page. And I know a couple of tricks to get POTD, but I don't really strive to do so (clever pun, or a good what-if, or a critical perspective on how stupid something is that wasn't commonly realized before).
You'd be surprised how easy it is to kill someone with a toe clipper when they're busy laughing at you.
"Come here, let me just clip your toe nails... AHA! I gave you a small cut on your big toe! Now you will feel pain while walking!"
"Oh no! What a minor inconvenience.
"
"Haha! Now I can run away from you without fear of you chasing me! And I know you wont shoot me with your gun out of fear of getting the rougher end of my keychain flashlight!"
"TIME TO GET OUT MY TOE NAIL CLIPPERS! ...That's a saw. No no, that's the bottle opener... I don't even know what the fuck that is... just hold still while I sort this out please..."
Best way to murder someone with it is to throw it at their head and run in the opposite direction.
Aren't they supposed to fit in your pockets?
Eh, even so. It'd be fun to have.
Wait, that thing comes equipped with a pack of condoms?
For... For your coats... right? (cry2)
It has duct tape?
No, I have better things to be doing with my time than actually do a silly thing like read the description I'm commenting on. Does it have a crowbar?
Not for the blunt force trauma, for the awesomeness of a crowbar
They're very multipurpose, which makes them perfect for the coming of the zombie apololipse (spelling...). They can pry stuff open, blunt force trauma... plus, hey, the Joker used one on Jason Todd, and that counts for SOMETHING
Toe clippers? So it clips off whole toes instead of nails? That's actually pretty damaging.
Except it would be pretty difficult to use, without the person wondering why someone is bending down at their feet clipping at their toes.
It would ruin a person's balance...
500 years without war mostly due to get the mountains that surround them.
http://www.myfacewhen.com/108/
useless meme for the situation ^
http://myfacewhen.com/260/
Swiss bank robbery:
Robber passes note to clerk.
*clerk reads the following: I have a nail clipper. Give me all you got."
He's still being searched for and is currently in possession of 30 million.
That explains why Swiss banks are so trustworthy
You are correct.
You are correct.
You are all correct.
Am I correct?
For the last time, the mole on your chest is NOT a third nipple!
amirite?
Only 92% of the time
At least that's an A.
A- if you go to my school.
Maybe it's just a SC thing.
Fuck my state.
It's a B+ in American high schools.
at my school that's an A.
You are C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER.
I might start a combo... Winning!
MINI SCISSORS! Just wait- in two hours, I'll have broken the skin! Can you believe it? That's an improvement.
Just wait one second while I come over to you! I have to walk slowly with these things! Safety first!
I need top keep the sharp point in my fist. If I trip, they could stab me in the eye! gasp
Okay. I've been training for this my whole life! Let's go! trips NO!!! DAMNIT!!!
Crap! Things are getting desperate! Send out the rest of the troops on pogo sticks! Make them wish their cheese wasn't solid!!!
I thought it was funny the way it is.
"Get by him? The guy behind him has a toothpick. That's right, back off."
Wow. I love it when I go anon for a post and it gets homepaged.
http://ctrlv.in/29488
Well slap my ass and call me Jimmy. She ain't lyin'!
I'll do that second thing but I won't do that first thing...
Sheesh Brett not everyone is like you....
You could just bookmark the page....
you must be REALLY loving it now, huh?
It just talks about how the Swiss are bigger pussies than Canadians.
I know, right? Even their independence was like, "Oh you guys want to govern yourselves? Sure, here you go." "Oh that's great for us, eh?"
(Your+name+(optional)): How'd they get off so easy when my country had to give up tea and stop wearing red and go to war and stuff first?
Well I imagine it was like, "Canada wants independence? Sure, that's cool." "The American colonies want independence? What, no way! We make money off of them and stuff! Who else will buy our crappy tea!?!?!?"
They could also throw their chocolate and cheese at people. The people who are allergic will melt, and the people who aren't allergic will eat the chocolate and cheese and call it a truce.
what if they poison the chocolate and cheese?
Then they all melt. Don't you know physics?
I know psychics. They say this won't turn out well for you...
... Also you have butt cancer.
(Chauncy Pickles): My honest reaction to that is... <:-/ That's kinda creepy.
And something a magic eight ball could tell me.
But does that magic eight ball have a medical degree that it could very well have printed off the internet?
(Chauncy Pickles): If I print off a medical degree for it, it will.
That's all I wanted to hear.
Reminds me of "I'll kill you with my teacup"
I thought of "I once killed a man using only his own mustache and a grape."
That's pretty a pretty badasterick way to kill somebody.
Badasterick is a pretty badasterick word.
From where?
The Chronicles of Riddick
WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST BE FRIENDS?!?
Cos Facebook only allows 5000.
Sounds like the grounds for a war...
It's over when only five thousand are left standing...
What have you done with stishficks? ANSWER ME!
I've got my connections. I'll figure this out eventually!
Ever seen the big ones? Don't mess with those.
If someone took that bad-boy out, I'd run. Fast.
(Your+name+(optional)): Is that Chuck Norris's personal swiss army knife?
Ya he keeps it as a pet. An all-purpose pet.
No, that's his toenail clipper.
his tooth picks...
Well they could use the corkscrew to gouge the enemies eyes out...
Stand still a sec... Almost... Yeah got it!
"Ok now the other eye!" "I don't know if I can stay conscious for that long, this pain is very excruciating."
I love him... i actually remember that exact episode where he said it
You're right! You are wrong! Wait...
You're Ninja. You're not Ninja. Wait... ARE YOU A FUCKING NINJA OR NOT?!?!?!?!
Probably...
Quantum mechanics would say he's a superposition of being a ninja and not being a ninja.
Schrödinger's ninja?
Probably...
Why would Switzerland attack people when they can just chill at home? Why attack Switzerland when you can't see what they are doing?
"And that last guy? Sure, he looks unarmed, but he's carrying our secret weapon:
Cheese."
and nearly from ricky gervais...
Ricky's Reaction:
They'd have a hell of a time getting through airport security with those items.
I like how the post implies that armies only fight with the country's respective knife.
lawl
Especially if the Swiss talk to their enemies as comrades? "buddy", okay, makes sense there's no war goin on over in those parts.
i made the score 666 :O!
:D, wait... Hey! >:( that was sarcasm! :O
Screw you all! I thought of it myself!
obviously you didn't...
ya i did! ur just saying that cuz ur gay!
I wish i were you anonymous
Anon could possibly be Jerry Sienfield
What does sexuality have to do with this?
Well obviously all homosexuals are always wrong, all the time. Didn't you know that? Seriously, what are they teaching you in schools these days?
That 1+1=3. Public education FTW!
Americans who think all Americans are stupid/ignorant and just drink and party all the time, are worse than those other Americans. That's one reason I like living in New Zealand.
And BTW, I was just trolling with the anonymous stuff. It's just a character I like to play from time to time.
They thought I (as Anon) was serious, and I acted like a complete idiot, so I consider that a success. Either way, I enjoy trolling, and it doesn't really matter if I do something I'm not good at.
My comment had a few likes until someone decided to insult it (influence). Can't people just be nice to each other on the internet (trolling doesn't count as being mean because you don't mean it)? I know it's the only place some people have confidence because it's anonymous, but that doesn't mean you have to be a douche. And I would've said this even if it was someone else's comment, but I don't really keep track of what happens to other people's comments.
But not hatefully either.
Yeh guize I come to amirite because it's the only place I have confidence. LOL
The internet, not just amirite... and that's not the reason you use the internet. You probably use it to entertain yourself or educate yourself, like most people do, but some also take it as a temporary self-esteem plus (without knowing it). Confidence is a weird subject to everybody. No one wants to seem like they're insecure or a pussy. But just because you're uncomfortable talking about it and then you laugh it off, doesn't mean it's not true.
You may mock it, but it's true. For most people they are confident in real life, but for some they are insecure and act like complete douchebags and grammar nazis, so they feel like they have to put someone else down and be cynical from time to time. They strive for undeserved internet fame by trashing others to get to the top. That's not the way it's done.
If you wanna criticize how I don't know how to be famous: I'm not famous on amirite or youtube, but I strive to make good content with innovative FX on youtube sometime (whether you believe in me or not idc) but I am saving up now for a Canon 7D, microphone, etc. And on amirite I made good quality posts, not just random depserate posts all the time, and for a couple of days, they stormed onto the home page. And I know a couple of tricks to get POTD, but I don't really strive to do so (clever pun, or a good what-if, or a critical perspective on how stupid something is that wasn't commonly realized before).
Shameless post promotion: http://www.amirite.net/459956
L! how is this shit POTD?!
real talks, anthony, go stab yourself with a fork.
*spoon
*toe clippers
*tweezers
*Combo Breaker
... God dammit Albie.
This is a runon sentence sir/beautiful woman.