We really need a nicer way to tell people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings. Its like 'Hey im bored! Lets go brush our teeth!" Or, "I have to make a phone call, hold this gum in your mouth.", amirite?
I usually just pull out some really good gum and pretend like I'm trying to eat it without them noticing. Reverse psychology kicks in and then they ask for a piece.
"Umm... no it's not, you just told me last week that you'd never be a dentist, because you hate touching other people's teeth so much.... You said it was gross and that you'd rather tear out your own intestines and hang yourself from it"
Here you want this, its a tooth brush, tooth paste, mouth wash, floss, and an instructional video on how to use them all. I had extra in my house that we need to get rid off, and you would really be doing me a favor...
we pow'ful need a nicer way t'tell varmints their breath stinks wifout hurtin' their feelin's. Its like 'Hey im bo'ed! Fry mah hide! Lets hoof it brush our teeth! Fry mah hide!" Or, "ah have t'make a phone call, hold this hyar gum in yer mouth.", amirite?
lol I remember nigahiga did a video on people with bad breaths
(when he was funny)
here have a piece of gum!, ooh I also happen to have some mouth wash, here you can take it I have extra at home. oh what's this some shampoo? here....(something like that)
(Your+name+(optional)): Clearly he meant something like "Lemon or Lime," as in the flavor of the gum. Or maybe he was referring to "little old ladies," since they take their teeth out at night and thus briefly eliminate bad breath. He might even have meant "Listerine or loser," since anyone who has poor dental hygiene is most definitely not someone I want to be seen with.
"You're not my friend, you never were, I fucking hate you, and your breath stinks."
That's the nice way to put it.
inb4 Nonsense_Narwhal makes another television reference
Hey y didnt u reply to urself. thas wut u do!!!1!!1!
No.
I'm sorry... I'm an imposter...
I like it when you talk to yourself... It makes me and myself happy...
Nom nom nom... Nononsense_Narwhal is pleased.
I bet you can't fit 20 mentos in your mouth!
So you can do that, but I bet you can't drink this can of Diet Coke!
thats a good one :D
Except then you're down twenty mentos lol
"Hey, who wants to play eat the mint?"
"Right here" Eats mint
"You win!"
"Alright, what do I win?"
"Another mint!"
"Oh, I'm going for the high score!"
OHMIGOD 5 gum came out with a new flavor! Wanna try?!
Side note: for a gum vendor, 5 gum's commercials look really elaborate and expensive.
And the people in the commercials are having orgasms
And acid trips...simultaneously.
"Let's play a game! Whoever rinses their mouth with two fluid ounces of Listerine first wins!"
"You haven't picked your cup up yet."
"That's because I'm... trying to give you a head start! Because your... birthday is today!"
"My birthday was last week. And you didn't remember."
"..."
I usually just pull out some really good gum and pretend like I'm trying to eat it without them noticing. Reverse psychology kicks in and then they ask for a piece.
Oh no, I dropped all my floss! I guess we have to use it now.
"My dream is to become a dentist, may I practice my teeth cleaning skills on you??"
"Umm... no it's not, you just told me last week that you'd never be a dentist, because you hate touching other people's teeth so much.... You said it was gross and that you'd rather tear out your own intestines and hang yourself from it"
"Well your breath made me change my mind. ZING!"
How's that nice?
"I don't know you. Make your own friends."
Hey i just bought some girl scout cookies, how about a thin mint?
Yes. Seeing as gum is currency at my school.
It's that way at EVERYONE'S school.
At my school, hand jobs are currency.
(Hoe Alert): That must be pretty tricky during class, you can pass gum inconspicuously, but it doesn't seem you could pass cum as easily.
"Hey buuuudddy, wanna play a game?
'Sure, what's it called?'
"It's the 'see how long it takes you to finish 23 packets of mints' game. You go first!"
Hey sinner, take this pill, it will get you high for the whole night! (it's actually an altoid, or as I call them, altitoids)
I KNOW WHY YOU'RE NOT GETTING GIRLS!
"Hey bro! I invented a new flavor of gum! I call it 'Brush Your Fucking Teeth'! Have a chew!"
Maybe you should stick to lip balm.
here's a tic tac is one way
Whoever can swig the mouthwash in their mouth the longest wins!
(Your+name+(optional)): Whoever can keep the toothbrush againt the inside of their mouth the longest wins round 2.
ROUND 2.... START! (in street fighter announcer voice)
(Your+name+(optional)): Let's close our mouth and run really far away from each-other!
Here you want this, its a tooth brush, tooth paste, mouth wash, floss, and an instructional video on how to use them all. I had extra in my house that we need to get rid off, and you would really be doing me a favor...
"Let's see who can finish this mint first without biting it!"
No
Gasp! You dare argue with God? Oh, the shame!
"Brush your teeth! ...for charity x]"
we pow'ful need a nicer way t'tell varmints their breath stinks wifout hurtin' their feelin's. Its like 'Hey im bo'ed! Fry mah hide! Lets hoof it brush our teeth! Fry mah hide!" Or, "ah have t'make a phone call, hold this hyar gum in yer mouth.", amirite?
Do you come from the Futer?
What is this, the hill-billy-bob translation?
Haha I like the first option in the post! :)
(Oh BABY!): me too! haha...
"Your breath smells like shit."
Probably not the best thing to say.
Probably.
First POTD I've laughed at. Great post
You know who ELSE's first POTD I've laughed at?
My MOM's.
(Muscle Man): Chauncy?
Rebecca?
(Not Chauncy Pickles): No, just a random stalker.
I don't believe you!
(Chauncy Pickles): YOU HAVE TO! I DON'T KNOW THIS REBECCA YOU SPEAK OF!
Another interesting conversion brought to you by the slightly senile Chauncy Pickles
This really isn't Chauncy. or at least this half isn't. He isn't THAT crazy.
@1297315 (Thisreallyisnt): HOW DARE YOU BRING DISHONOR (pronounced dish on err) TO MY NAME!!!
white glove slap I demand satisfaction! WE will have a battle of whites! We whip eggs at dawn! Be there, or be a poseur!
Which half o.O?
The Rebecca Half. Reply to the other half. And voila! Chauncy!
(Muscle Man): wat
Ooh ooh! How about you unwrap a piece of gum, pretend you trip and shove it so far up their mouth, they won't even be able to thank you.
"Bubble-blowing contest! You first."
On a side note, I keep reading this as "hold this gun in your mouth".
lol I remember nigahiga did a video on people with bad breaths
(when he was funny)
here have a piece of gum!, ooh I also happen to have some mouth wash, here you can take it I have extra at home. oh what's this some shampoo? here....(something like that)
NIGAHIGA WILL ALWAYS BE FUNNY D:
ehhh his humor is dry...
He's just another annoying random icarly to me.
I only watch him cause he does collabs with Kevjumba : D
oooooo what was it called, i didn't see that one!
Rant On Stink People.
thank you!
HEY GUYS let's get so drunk that we dont even notice!
Pretty sure some comedian said this. I'm not calling you out or anything, but finding out who said this is going to drive me crazy all day.
Owen Benjamin
I might be bateing a dead horse, but thank you for posting this!
Thanks for sharing. Always good to find a real epexrt.
God help me, I put aside a whole afternoon to fgirue this out.
Yo, that's what's up trtuhlfluy.
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It's spkooy how clever some ppl are. Thanks!
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Was toatlly stuck until I read this, now back up and running.
Your article perfectly shows what I nedeed to know, thanks!
Thanks for wrtinig such an easy-to-understand article on this topic.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
lOL
I'm not sure how League of Legends has anything to do with this
(Your+name+(optional)): Clearly he meant something like "Lemon or Lime," as in the flavor of the gum. Or maybe he was referring to "little old ladies," since they take their teeth out at night and thus briefly eliminate bad breath. He might even have meant "Listerine or loser," since anyone who has poor dental hygiene is most definitely not someone I want to be seen with.
He meant 'Lick (this mint) or leave'.
Lozenge or leave?
laugh out loud?
Sixty-ninth comment wins a freebie! Tell your friend their breath stinks, then show them the freebie and they won't be mad at you! YAY FREEBIES.
Stole this from Owen Benjamins stand up on Comedy Central Presents...
No one cares.
See thats the problem with this website. Nobody gives a fuck if something isnt original
A lot of people haven't heard the 'unoriginal' posts though.
Speaking of unoriginal, I LOVE your username.
K