+3,801

I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle." amirite?

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The voice in my head that read this sounded reaaaaaaally stoned.

@super_sour_diesel The voice in my head that read this sounded reaaaaaaally stoned.

me too! I immediately thought of finding nemo and the voice sounded like the turtle from that movie.

alittleannoyeds avatar alittleannoyed Yeah You Are +10Reply
@super_sour_diesel The voice in my head that read this sounded reaaaaaaally stoned.

OP was probably stoned when he wrote this, but look, it got POTD. This just proves I need to write more posts while taking drugs.

DandyLions avatar DandyLion Yeah You Are +4Reply

This reminded me of the turtles from Finding Nemo.

Anonymous +71Reply

Turtles have been my favorite animals for a long time, but until now, I could never put into words why. Thank you.

shorkians avatar shorkian Yeah You Are +67Reply

Why do I feel like you nicked this from someone/somewhere? :/

@Kellie Why do I feel like you nicked this from someone/somewhere? :/

This dude "swears" they didn't copy it from anywhere, yet it is a word for word exact match with a facebook group i recently liked. what a coincidence..

This user has deactivated their account.
@1348393

Just looked it up and the page was created in 2010.

@Kellie Why do I feel like you nicked this from someone/somewhere? :/

It's from Mitch Hedberg. He did a similar joke on frogs talking about the forest fire representative in england being better than the bear. 'Frogs are always cool' etc etc

Anonymous +8Reply
@It's from Mitch Hedberg. He did a similar joke on frogs talking about the forest fire representative in england...

I was like "Wow this really sounds like Mitch Hedburg" and I'm really glad you said that.

NoodleArmss avatar NoodleArms Yeah You Are +10Reply
@FredWeasley Not that I could find when I searched it

It has the air of being previously posted to me, but that might just be, well, me XD

@Retooser It's not just you. I feel like it's from something...

I'm tellin you dude, I checked this shit like 45 times. I didn't copy it from anywhere. Damn, bitches all up on my jaun and shit

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +97Reply
@Retooser I wasn't saying you stole it, it just sounds familiar and I can't place it.

I was thinking it sounded familiar too. IMO it sounds like something Demetri Martin would say. Not saying that it was stolen though, but it does remind me of him an awful lot.

@Retooser I wasn't saying you stole it, it just sounds familiar and I can't place it.

It sounds like something my friend would say. When I read this, I heard her voice saying this. That's why it sounds familiar to me.

To which you will respond: cool story bro. Tell it AGAIN. Tell it ata PARTY. You'll get laid.

@FredWeasley I'm tellin you dude, I checked this shit like 45 times. I didn't copy it from anywhere. Damn, bitches all up on my...

I've seen this shit all over Facebook Like sites more than many months ago.
But its new to the site so congrats :D

Anonymous +1Reply
@FredWeasley I'm tellin you dude, I checked this shit like 45 times. I didn't copy it from anywhere. Damn, bitches all up on my...

You stole it. I wrote that exact same thing about four months ago, and was accused of stealing it. Then it was removed. You totally stole it. Even if you didn't steal it from a post on here, you still stole it from another site.

@Retooser It's not just you. I feel like it's from something...

RayWilliamJohnson, possibly? He did an episode on turtles.

Anonymous -9Reply
@FredWeasley Not that I could find when I searched it

It was definitely on facebook, but idk, maybe it was on here first.

Anonymous +7Reply
@It was definitely on facebook, but idk, maybe it was on here first.

A lot of people have the same opinion on turtles. At least 2600 of them do, atm. Can people stop bitching about every post? Minds think alike. You're subconsciously jealous that this got POTD. You think your posts are so much deserving than this one. Just shut up and enjoy the post!

Anonymous +26Reply
Ravens avatar Raven Yeah You Are 0Reply
@A lot of people have the same opinion on turtles. At least 2600 of them do, atm. Can people stop bitching about...

(Seriously.):
Chill. Like seriously, chill. I think this is a good post of the day, and I even admitted that it might have been posted on here before it was posted (word for word, by the way, so it's not a coincidence) on facebook. Relax, I'm not bashing the post of the day. People were wondering if they'd seen if before, and I mentioned that I had seen it too.

Anonymous -5Reply
@(Seriously.): Chill. Like seriously, chill. I think this is a good post of the day, and I even admitted that it...

That wasn't directed towards you specifically, but everyone in that little conversation about how he stole it. I don't need to relax. I used exclamation points and it came off the wrong way to you.

Anonymous +3Reply
@(Seriously.): Chill. Like seriously, chill. I think this is a good post of the day, and I even admitted that it...

I'm steamed because I wrote this on here word for word a few months ago, and it was removed because it had been posted before.

On the first day of kindergarten, I saw this kid and thought he looked like a turtle.

JennaGees avatar JennaGee Yeah You Are +61Reply
FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +37Reply
@FredWeasley Duuude, I have a friend who looks turtle-ish. Cool fuckin kid.

Omg I have friends who look like mice. They look pretty cute though lol

Anonymous +10Reply
@Omg I have friends who look like mice. They look pretty cute though lol

And I have friends who are mice! After doing some experiments on them I realized that they were the superior life-form and that they were actually testing ON ME! Who would've guessed?! And also, they Earth is just a machine to find the question of life after we already know the answer, which is OBVIOUSLY 42.

@open_mind_open_soul Good job, you have successfully proven you can read!

yeah, i wasn't sure up to that point so i gave myself a little pat on the back when i recognized something.

alittleannoyeds avatar alittleannoyed Yeah You Are +1Reply

They're like the Bob Marley's of the animal kingdom.

I_Predict_A_Riots avatar I_Predict_A_Riot Yeah You Are +46Reply
FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +64Reply
@FredWeasley Dude, turtles with dreads. That'd be fantastic

If I ever saw that I'd cry tears of happiness. Then commit myself to a drug rehab cuz they'd be singing reggae as well.

I_Predict_A_Riots avatar I_Predict_A_Riot Yeah You Are +37Reply

How am i supposed to get comment loves now? Nobody reads the comments at the bottom of the page.

@pb55020 Thanks for calling me nobody :(

(don't worry, that was just an attempt to get loves without actually trying)

@Nonsense_Narwhal (don't worry, that was just an attempt to get loves without actually trying)

Nice try, but I can read phrases even if they are enclosed in parentheses!

IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO? I am the ALMIGHTY Chauncy Pickles! Fear my AMIMIGHT!

My tortoise used to sneak up on me when I was sitting and try to bite my toes.

Lkuns avatar Lkun Yeah You Are +29Reply

I like you.

Abbless avatar Abbles Yeah You Are +27Reply
@Abbles I like you.

Thank yoooou. Let's be friends.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +6Reply

This post is fucking all over the internet now. I'm just gonna point out that I didn't copy it, it was here before it was anywhere else. I'm glad everyone loved it so much.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +24Reply
@FredWeasley This post is fucking all over the internet now. I'm just gonna point out that I didn't copy it, it was here before...

I believe you Fred! xD I googled it after you put it and there was just this post!! (Even though now even a couple of friends have this as theirs statuses)

Anonymous +8Reply

I don't see why this post is targeted in the war against reposts and stolen posts when there are 5000 other stolen
posts out there too...

crazyllamass avatar crazyllamas Yeah You Are +24Reply

oh yeah, turtles are awesome :) simple life is the way to go, man.
PS: I'm glad you're not dead yet, FredWeasley

turtles have been my favourite animal for ever! also am i the only one who read this in a really stoned voice? i kind of have the feeling the op was flying high when they wrote this.

Turtles, dude... Now I wana be a turtle... Sounds like fun... Swimmin around... Eatin lettuce...

TheMaineDestinees avatar TheMaineDestinee Yeah You Are +16Reply

I hate the person who made this because they are directly responsible for all those idiotic facebook pages copying this and changing it around for basically everything. sorry about that OP.

There's an ad at the bottom of this page advertising beautiful turtle cages. I might just click on it, because I fucking love turtles. And your post.

YEAHMANs avatar YEAHMAN Yeah You Are +12Reply

All of these comments are people trying to find this as a repost, yet nobody has succeeded. Congrats, Mr. FredWeasly, you have the first amazing yet original post I've ever seen. y smilie

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +12Reply

I think if the World were an animal kingdom, the Canadians would be the turtles. Or maybe the Jamaicans.

This user has deactivated their account.
@1027164

It's impossible not to make the connection. :) I'll be talking and in my head I'm like, "Turtle, turtle, turtle...eh?"

From now on, everyone must vote "I like turtles" on this post. No exceptions.

Anonymous +10Reply

I know people hate reposts but never have I seen more than 100 comments focused on finding out if a post was a repost. That's a little...obsessive.

OMG geyest POTD ever, is there some way we can fire Conor?

@FredWeasley gayest*

No, you have to say "gey" or else it's offensive.

@Simon No, you have to say "gey" or else it's offensive.

"g" commonly makes a "j" sound when followed by the letters "i" or "e", but that is usually when "g" is also preceded by another vowel.

I was scuba diving once, and I thought this turtle was gonna bite my nose off. Nope; he just swam past the distressed me and ate some coral. Om nom nom.

Dominos avatar Domino Yeah You Are +9Reply

What is the point in commenting on the POTD when it's already received so much recognition?

This comment was deleted by its author.
@1348289

your name makes me hungry

Predys avatar Predy Yeah You Are 0Reply

Isn't Fred Weasley supposed to like owls or rats or something instead? Wait, isn't Fred supposed to be dead? hmm smilie

Expelliarmuss avatar Expelliarmus Yeah You Are +8Reply

I believed you, but I googled this purely out of curiosity and this was already out there, in various places with dates prior to this post.
I wouldn't care normally, but the fact you kept insisting you made it up and it miraculously spread around so fast kinda irks me. It was pretty unlikely, anyways. As popular as this site is, it's not THAT popular. In comparison to other sites, it's not some huge well-known thing.

no smilie

orangesockss avatar orangesocks Yeah You Are +7Reply
@orangesocks All you have to do is google it; don't act dumb, please.

Yeah so I googled it...none of them were before mine. But if you wanna find one for me go for it.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +5Reply
@FredWeasley Yeah so I googled it...none of them were before mine. But if you wanna find one for me go for it.

...........
damn. Idk, must've misread what it said on the iPod mobile google thing, because when I actually opened the links it was just someones signature, so obviously it just updated to older posts or whatever on the sites that showed up.

You have permission to call me whatever you want, because I for one feel rather stupid. :B
rock on weasleyz

orangesockss avatar orangesocks Yeah You Are +11Reply

You have never met the turtles my science teacher keeps in her classroom. they.are evil.

Anonymous +6Reply

The fact that he was high when he posted this only increases my respect for this dude. Well played, good sir.

@Sean The fact that he was high when he posted this only increases my respect for this dude. Well played, good sir.

When you post while high you apparently either get ramblings about the futer or sheer awesomeness on the subject of turtles, and either way you get POTD. Clearly I need to start smoking.

FlyingGuineaPigs avatar FlyingGuineaPig Yeah You Are +11Reply

I guess you haven't heard... http://www.clickorlando.com/new...53/detail.html
Very, very sad.

@jm1111 I guess you haven't heard... http://www.clickorlando.com/new...53/detail.html Very, very sad.

His fault for goin out to tag them. People gotta leave turtles alooone man. They're not botherin you, don't bother them.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +15Reply
@jm1111 And how about all of these poor souls who had no idea what was about to happen?...

Look, I'm not going to read all of that. I'm just going to assume that it's a bunch of stories about turtle-related atrocities. But this post obviously can't speak for all turtles. Humans have done some prettttttty fucked up shit, but a majority of us aren't really bad people. Same goes for turtles, dude.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +14Reply
@FredWeasley Look, I'm not going to read all of that. I'm just going to assume that it's a bunch of stories about turtle-related...

Oh hey, I agree with you. There are some awesome turtles out there. Those sites are just being very specific. I was just trying to point out those scary turtle incidents. Because they happen. But anyways, I'd side with the good turtles any day. It's not like it was participially their fault. Haha :)

highdeas

@Roxie highdeas

http://highdeas.com/search/apac...maybe+eat+some

Every post with turtles in it is dated after mine. Try again pl0x

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +13Reply

Everyone saying I copied it:

http://www.google.com/search?q=....+They+don%27t
+hurt+anyone.+They%27re+just+like%2C+%22Hey+man%2C+I+want+to+swim%2C+and+maybe+eat+some+lettuce.+But+I%27m+gonna+take+my+time+getting+there%2C+I%27m+not+in+a+rush.+Because+I%27m+a+turtle.%22&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

Find one where it was posted before mine. I dare you. That is all.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +5Reply
@FredWeasley Everyone saying I copied...

"Dude, she called you a-" "You know what? I don't care, cause I'm a turtle."

Miss_Meerkats avatar Miss_Meerkat Yeah You Are +12Reply
@FredWeasley Everyone saying I copied...

http://answers.yahoo.com/questi...2170053AAmBbsU

This question with the same saying was asked 6 months ago. I understand 6 months ago would have been January 14th, but I find it hard to believe this would have been spread around the web that quickly. Unless of course the person asking the question was asking after reading this post.. Who knows. So I guess just ignore this post, because it has no proof. Paaayyyccee.

Taylorrr124s avatar Taylorrr124 Yeah You Are +1Reply

I find all these post about stating which turtles in particular retarded. It's a quote designed for pure comedic purposes. Not some fact filled learning quote.

You could specify which turtles, if you wanted to kill the whole thing in cold blood.

Anonymous +5Reply

YouTube video thumbnail

Predys avatar Predy Yeah You Are +4Reply

I read this is in the funniest dopiest sounding turtle voice ever xD

Shielys avatar Shiely Yeah You Are +3Reply
This user has deactivated their account.
@1012269

Must have been a lot of strangely pronounced words...what happened to her anyway?

alittleannoyeds avatar alittleannoyed Yeah You Are 0Reply

smoke weed er' day.

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +3Reply

Totally sounds like something from Mitch Hedberg.

Zombie Kid? Is that you?

Well, all of that ^^ sort of made me sad. I loved this and put it as my status on Facebook. Turtles are freaking awesome.

Tiras avatar Tira Yeah You Are +2Reply

Damn buddy! You have some nerve telling me that "No ones ever pointed this out before." on my Bruno Mars post. While you can't prove that I am or am not the first to DISCOVER that his eyes were open. But you, you take a quote straight from the mouth of Mitch Hedberg. You're really sharp, sir.

@HillariousBastard Damn buddy! You have some nerve telling me that "No ones ever pointed this out before." on my Bruno Mars post...

Sorry this is so late but I just saw this and I'm upset by your sarcastic attitude. So here's the Mitch Hedberg joke you're thinking of:

frogs are always cool. Never has there been a frog hopping toward me, and I thought, "Man, here comes that frog...I'd better play dead." You never say, "Here comes that frog" in a terrified manner. It's always optimistic, like, "Hey, here comes that frog, all right.

What part did I copy?

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +6Reply

i just had to come to this post...

Apparently OP was high when he made this, yet not a single person referenced Owl City's "Fireflies". Astounding.

@Shadi Apparently OP was high when he made this, yet not a single person referenced Owl City's "Fireflies". Astounding.

(Chauncy Pickles): A fox trot above my head, a sock hop beneath my bed, a disco ball is just hanging by a thread...
thread...
thread.

Okay, there. Someone referenced it.

FlyingGuineaPigs avatar FlyingGuineaPig Yeah You Are +7Reply
@FlyingGuineaPig (Chauncy Pickles): A fox trot above my head, a sock hop beneath my bed, a disco ball is just hanging by a...

Gross.

Also I meant that no one made a comparison between this post and the aformentioned song as both are popular and were made while someone was under the influence of drugs.

Wow... I thought this was already a potd. Deja vu I guess :P

I feel like i read this a while ago...cause i remember the name FredWeasley and thought it was a clever username. Also, i agreed that the turtle post was pretty chill.

Reading this makes me want a BLT that much more.

This is definitely Mitch Hedberg

Sloths!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BrookeNinjas avatar BrookeNinja Yeah You Are +1Reply

Holy shit, post of the day man. Rad

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +1Reply
@FredWeasley Holy shit, post of the day man. Rad

Your post started out as PotD with more votes than most other PotD's ever had. Surely this must be some form of record.

i like turtles

Owljoyxs avatar Owljoyx Yeah You Are +1Reply

I packed my bags before finishing reading this post

Am I the only one who reads this in a voice like Crush from Finding Nemo?

This comment was deleted by its author.
@949138

Ummm I'm obviously not talking about snapping turtles?

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +33Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@949510

You're so right, I have no idea what I was thinking

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +35Reply

Turtles are my favorite animal.

i like turtles.

Anonymous 0Reply

I <3 TURTLE!!!!!

I agree wholeheartedly.

radgrls avatar radgrl Yeah You Are 0Reply

A turtle bit me on the boob once. Fuck that, it won;t hurt me -_-

Anonymous 0Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@1348952

...oooooooomerangs.

I have one.

this is a copy....not fair so many of my post have been removed just because they are old sayings and this post that is everywhere is still here, I LOVE TURTLES maybe its just the first time in this website so WAY TO GO DUDE dont care so FTW!!!

LauraHernandezs avatar LauraHernandez Yeah You Are 0Reply
@RudyStephenson

Bowser's grandfather?

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +1Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@951139

No it isn't...>.>

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +3Reply
@FredWeasley No it isn't...>.>

tis', someone even posted a link for it

Anonymous 0Reply
@tis', someone even posted a link for it

I can't help but think that you're the same person who created the facebook page after I posted this, seeing as all the comments sayin I copied it are from an anonymous person.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +19Reply

oh my god this is such a repeat. if you type it into google it is word for word copied.
and you really expect me to believe it was a coincidence?

Anonymous -1Reply

Was this on facebook before or after it was on this site?

I LOVE turtles!!!!!! They are like the best ever!!

dAnc3r_girls avatar dAnc3r_girl Yeah You Are -3Reply

tosh.0 with turtle kid

Anonymous -3Reply

I guess we can't really say you aren't right, considering you're telling us that you like them...

Anonymous -3Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@1348294

Myspace like

Haha, wouldn't that be funny if someone said that, though?

I honestly don't get this...?

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +3Reply

Has anyone said, it was mitch hedberg that said this first?

@Sethbert Has anyone said, it was mitch hedberg that said this first?

If you'd hit ctrl + F and typed in Mitch Hedberg, you'd realize that it has been stated.

Now that that's out of the way, Mitch Hedberg's joke has nothing to do with this post.

And then they played some lax and drank a natty lite.

@HotKoolAid And then they played some lax and drank a natty lite.

No. Then they ate some fucking lettuce and went for a swim. MLINB

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +56Reply
@FredWeasley No. Then they ate some fucking lettuce and went for a swim. MLINB

Then they saw another turtle in a banana suit riding a unicycle. Best. Day. Ever.

I'm not sure why but this facebook group/post really pisses me off every time I read it.

dude...I totally made this up. no joke. literally. I made it a facebook like...and it was one of the most popular...>:(

Anonymous -6Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@1348972

LMFAO! YOU'RE SO STUPID I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW YOU FOUND THE SHORTCUT TO THE INTERNET ON YOUR DESKTOP.
If you would kindly check the date of this post, you shall see that this was posted in JANUARY. That means that all those other pages came from HERE. Do you understand, you unsophisticated squirrel?

Alligator snapping turtles have the second strongest bite force of any animal alive. They'll hurt the absolute FUCK out of you if you get near them.

@Mike_Hawk Alligator snapping turtles have the second strongest bite force of any animal alive. They'll hurt the absolute FUCK...

...We covered the snapping turtle topic earlier. Not the kind of turtle I was talking about at all.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +33Reply
@FredWeasley ...We covered the snapping turtle topic earlier. Not the kind of turtle I was talking about at all.

I used proper grammar to get my point across, as well as using facts and clarifications. They do give a good point, though, about specifying. Just saying "turtles" impies every animal that can be classified under the umbrella term of "turtle". We're not psychic.

@Mike_Hawk I used proper grammar to get my point across, as well as using facts and clarifications. They do give a good point...

Dude, I am too goood damn high to handle your shit right now. I guess I'm sorry, hop off pl0x.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +35Reply
@FredWeasley Dude, I am too goood damn high to handle your shit right now. I guess I'm sorry, hop off pl0x.

I understand. I remember once, the triple Os in the phrase "don't know how" was freaking me out.

I will, in fact, hop off.

i think you might be referring to tortoises, since turtles are actually quite moderately fast swimmers and crawlers. Also, they're not very calm either, most turtles are carnivorous hunters. They do "chill" when they bask in the sun. Maybe you're referring more to sloths, who hang on trees and nap all day.

Anonymous -8Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@951440

You just fucking made that. googled it like 20 times. There's no way that was there word for word and didn't come up when I checked. Go away.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +10Reply
@FredWeasley You just fucking made that. googled it like 20 times. There's no way that was there word for word and didn't come...

I didn't "just make" anything. It's got 33,000 people liking it. How on earth would that happen so fast?

Anonymous +2Reply
@I didn't "just make" anything. It's got 33,000 people liking it. How on earth would that happen so fast?

Its the internet. Shit happens fast. This post was all over tumblr less than 12 hours after I posted it. The page wasn't there before I wrote this.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +2Reply
Anonymous +3Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@952188

robed? as in you robed off facebook? why would you take a robe off of facebook? that's nasty man

Rosss avatar Ross Yeah You Are +41Reply

U took that from MLIB

@18adidas U took that from MLIB

I don't think I did, I google searched it like 13 times in like 13 different ways. Something would've came up. But if you find the post for me I guess I'll believe you.

FredWeasleys avatar FredWeasley Yeah You Are +37Reply
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