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Abraham Lincoln's last tweet would have been: "Watching boring ass play, #killmenow" , amirite?

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Too soon.

chichichichias avatar chichichichia Yeah You Are +128Reply
@open_mind_open_soul It's been 23 years.

Let me guess, you failed maths at school?

@dan94 Let me guess, you failed maths at school?

You're retarded. It's been more than 23 years since the assassination. But you can joke about a dead person after 23 years. South Park said so.

What is an ass play?

@nosferatu What is an ass play?

old-fashioned gay porno

Anonymous +78Reply
@old-fashioned gay porno

I will never look at Abe the same way again

@nosferatu I will never look at Abe the same way again

Lincoln lay back on his bed, nude save for his trademark stovepipe hat. "Tell me," he purred seductively, as he and Obama formed a more perfect union. "When you come, is it 10% ethanol?"

__________s avatar __________ Yeah You Are +39Reply
@__________ Lincoln lay back on his bed, nude save for his trademark stovepipe hat. "Tell me," he purred seductively, as he and...

That reminds me of the episode of American Dad when Stan decides to write a play aboot Abraham Lincoln, and he becomes extremely popular with Log Cabin Republicans.

@old-fashioned gay porno

LMFAO I used to shoot in those vids

CatMans avatar CatMan Yeah You Are -2Reply

...or on Facebook. John Wilkes Booth likes this status

allow me to take of that rt@honestabe Watching boring ass play, #killmenow

Anonymous +35Reply

I like how this is in the "FOOD" category

Snookis avatar Snooki Yeah You Are +22Reply

10:13 PM @BoothnotTable Lawl! Sic Semper Tyrannis, bitchezzzz :P

MrRites avatar MrRite Yeah You Are +18Reply

"Just called in CIA to fake my assassination #lololol"

-30 seconds ago

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +18Reply

But ass play is never boring!

Vitaes avatar Vitae Yeah You Are +14Reply
@Vitae But ass play is never boring!

a splay*

But a splay [of butt cheeks] is never boring!

YouTube video thumbnail

Relevant. Lincoln was an asshole.

StickCavemans avatar StickCaveman Yeah You Are +14Reply
@StickCaveman Relevant. Lincoln was an asshole.

This must be where the movie idea came from. ...The vampire part

Anonymous 0Reply
@Velociraptor 

Whoa, you almost passed the character limit there, be more careful next time.

@Velociraptor 

why is making squares funny??

alittleannoyeds avatar alittleannoyed Yeah You Are +4Reply
@alittleannoyed why is making squares funny??

I see squares all the time, too. Dunno why...

Imagines Abraham Lincoln babysitting some fourty-something-year-old douche bag while said douche bag takes the least aggressive route in story mode of Gears of War and not losing any lives in the process

...haha. At least his parents have cable.

except, wasn't it a super funny play or something?
S:

@Erin except, wasn't it a super funny play or something? S:

It's weird; I can't really imagine President Lincoln laughing hysterically. Huh.

Favvkess avatar Favvkes Yeah You Are +20Reply
@Erin how about chuckling?

yeah, but he probably burst out laughing at some point as an adult...

Favvkess avatar Favvkes Yeah You Are +12Reply
@Favvkes yeah, but he probably burst out laughing at some point as an adult...

"Oh, fiddlesticks. My trademark hat fell off I was laughing so hard."

Aimzs avatar Aimz Yeah You Are +25Reply

I doubt it. He'd have more class than most of tweeter

I bet amirite feels stupid now.

Epic commenting! xD

Abraham Lincoln. Whatta tool.

lilypops avatar lilypop Yeah You Are -6Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@1480046

Drunken Beer Pong Baby?

Anonymous +18Reply
@Drunken Beer Pong Baby?

Nah I think it's "Don't Buy Peanut Butter."

@Raiden Nah I think it's "Don't Buy Peanut Butter."

I love how this site is becoming more allergy conscious. It makes me and my severe peanut = death curse feel much more welcome smile smilie

@Raiden Nah I think it's "Don't Buy Peanut Butter."

OMG that will help me so much! I keep forgetting I'm allergic to peanut butter and buying it anyways! But now I can have "Don't Buy Peanut Butter" repeat on my ipod instead of "breathe in, breathe out." That was getting kinda boring. Like thanks so much!

Anonymous +6Reply
@Raiden Nah I think it's "Don't Buy Peanut Butter."

You're both wrong. It's 'Die, belittling pig butts!'

__________s avatar __________ Yeah You Are +5Reply

Too soon, man. Too soon.

Anonymous -20Reply
@ashnicoleluvsblg You're too cute.

I'm blushing! forcefully blushes

@Shadi I'm blushing! forcefully blushes

You call that blushing? It's much too forced. You look constipated.

@FlyingGuineaPig You call that blushing? It's much too forced. You look constipated.

Some laxatives will take care of that. Also, sleeping pills. And maybe LSD. It'd be like the matrix with more fecal matter.

__________s avatar __________ Yeah You Are +15Reply

You're stupid, twitter didn't exist back then

Anonymous -52Reply
@You're stupid, twitter didn't exist back then

Wow, what an insightful comment, even though the post clearly says "would have been."

Eminnas avatar Eminna Yeah You Are +24Reply
@You're stupid, twitter didn't exist back then

Why thankyou for pointing that out... but how would you know? YOU WEREN'T THERE NOW WERE YOU?

Anonymous +18Reply
Anonymous +44Reply
@I'm Abraham Lincoln.

I am Not Abraham Lincoln

Anonymous +44Reply
@I am Not Abraham Lincoln

I am NOT FlyingGuineaPig.

Anonymous -6Reply
Anonymous +10Reply
@I'll say pikapika!

I'll say Simon says say 'I'll say 'Simon says say 'I'll say''

__________s avatar __________ Yeah You Are +3Reply
@I'm Abraham Lincoln.

Will the real Abraham Lincoln please stand up, please stand up?

Purple_Roses avatar Purple_Rose Yeah You Are +12Reply
@You're stupid, twitter didn't exist back then

Why would you love that comment? This troll isn't even funny.

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +8Reply
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