+1,735 Abraham Lincoln's last tweet would have been: "Watching boring ass play, #killmenow" , amirite?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Too soon.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

It's been 23 years.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Let me guess, you failed maths at school?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

You're retarded. It's been more than 23 years since the assassination. But you can joke about a dead person after 23 years. South Park said so.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

LOL, I read that thinking that you thought only 23 years have passed, when you were trying to say more than 23 years have passed.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Hahaha oh :P

by Anonymous 14 years ago

*four score and 7 years

by Anonymous 13 years ago

*1 score and 3 years.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

What is an ass play?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

old-fashioned gay porno

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I will never look at Abe the same way again

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Lincoln lay back on his bed, nude save for his trademark stovepipe hat. "Tell me," he purred seductively, as he and Obama formed a more perfect union. "When you come, is it 10% ethanol?"

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That reminds me of the episode of American Dad when Stan decides to write a play aboot Abraham Lincoln, and he becomes extremely popular with Log Cabin Republicans.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

LMFAO I used to shoot in those vids

by Anonymous 14 years ago

http://tinyurl.com/yhnjcpb

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well, great. Now that's in my history.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Ain't it?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Too soon, man. Too soon.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Too late, man. Too late.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Too cute, man. 2 CUTE! <333

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You're too cute.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm blushing! *forcefully blushes*

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You call that blushing? It's much too forced. You look constipated.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Some laxatives will take care of that. Also, sleeping pills. And maybe LSD. It'd be like the matrix with more fecal matter.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

So.... like, Neo would take breaks from flying and looking badass to visit the little boy's room?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

10:13 PM @BoothnotTable Lawl! Sic Semper Tyrannis, bitchezzzz :P

by Anonymous 14 years ago

...or on Facebook. *John Wilkes Booth likes this status*

by Anonymous 14 years ago



by Anonymous 13 years ago

Whoa, you almost passed the character limit there, be more careful next time.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

why is making squares funny??

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I see squares all the time, too. Dunno why...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Just called in CIA to fake my assassination #lololol" -30 seconds ago

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You're stupid, twitter didn't exist back then

by Anonymous 13 years ago

troll

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Wow, what an insightful comment, even though the post clearly says "would have been."

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You're stupid, this is a joke.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why thankyou for pointing that out... but how would you know? YOU WEREN'T THERE NOW WERE YOU?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

There was no Twitter back in my day.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

But we did Tweet the old fashioned way... with birds!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm Abraham Lincoln.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I am Not Abraham Lincoln

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I am NOT FlyingGuineaPig.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'll say you aren't un

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'll say pikapika!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'll say Simon says say 'I'll say 'Simon says say 'I'll say''

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Will the real Abraham Lincoln please stand up, please stand up?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why would you love that comment? This troll isn't even funny.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

But ass play is never boring!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

a splay* But a splay [of butt cheeks] is never boring!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Ass splay! goo

by Anonymous 13 years ago

except, wasn't it a super funny play or something? S:

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It's weird; I can't really imagine President Lincoln laughing hysterically. Huh.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

how about chuckling?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

yeah, but he probably burst out laughing at some point as an adult...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Oh, fiddlesticks. My trademark hat fell off I was laughing so hard."

by Anonymous 13 years ago

*Imagines Abraham Lincoln babysitting some fourty-something-year-old douche bag while said douche bag takes the least aggressive route in story mode of Gears of War and not losing any lives in the process* ...haha. At least his parents have cable.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4Uf9rsBbhc Relevant. Lincoln was an asshole.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

This must be where the movie idea came from. ...The vampire part

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I like how this is in the "FOOD" category

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Epic commenting! xD

by Anonymous 13 years ago

http://touch.amirite.net/366618

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I bet amirite feels stupid now.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Abraham Lincoln. Whatta tool.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

what you did there I see.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I doubt it. He'd have more class than most of tweeter

by Anonymous 10 years ago