When you mess up or do something stupid, your mom thinks it's your new hobby. Ex: "This is my daughter; she likes to make out with the neighbors.", amirite?
"This is my son. After many years of not liking chicken, we finally got him to try some popcorn chicken. He said it was okay so now every time we go to KFC I'm going to assume it's his favorite food and make an excited face and say, 'Oh look, Austin, they've got some popcorn chicken! You love popcorn chicken don't you??'"
I like it. I'm just not as crazy about it as my mom seems to think. I swear it applies to anything.. if I show any sign that I like it a little bit, she thinks it's my most favorite thing in the world. So what I end up doing a lot of times is pretending I don't like things.
Mom: You like the Hamburger Helper, Austin? (That's my name, too)
Austin: <I can't stand any kind of Hamburger Helper and I'm just trying to be polite> Yes.
And then, Mom makes that shit every day and is all "You liked it last time I made it."
What's worse is when you get to around 10th grade and they start asking you what college you want to go to. And if you give them an answer, they tell everyone about it.
To solve this, I told my parents a different college every time. For a while, I had everyone believing that my dream was to go to the Honolulu Institute of Colorado to major in Quantum Mechanical Biology.
I feel your pain. All the hot guys in my neighborhood live on the other side. It's the same neighborhood but it's connected by a huge main road... so I can't go see anyone on the other side. :(
This one time a few months ago I told my parents I didn't want to bring a jacket because it wasn't cold outside and I ended up wearing my mom's and so now every time I wear a jacket they say "So you decided to bring a jacket, huh?"
"This is my granddaughter; she got kicked out of a Christian-based camp and will never work there again. Oh, and could you please bring out the dish boy? She'd like to apologize to him for showing him up on their date last month."
i broke the fender off my cousin's old car I used to practice driving in like a while back.
and so that's the first thing anyone knows about me when my mom introduces us.
and i can't do anything but stand there and smile, like I'm some fool who can't drive.
When I was like in 4th grade I would tell everyone that I wanted to be a brain surgeon now my mom mentions that to like everyone even though I definitely have no ambition to be a brain surgeon anymore.
"This is my son. After many years of not liking chicken, we finally got him to try some popcorn chicken. He said it was okay so now every time we go to KFC I'm going to assume it's his favorite food and make an excited face and say, 'Oh look, Austin, they've got some popcorn chicken! You love popcorn chicken don't you??'"
chicken
I like it. I'm just not as crazy about it as my mom seems to think. I swear it applies to anything.. if I show any sign that I like it a little bit, she thinks it's my most favorite thing in the world. So what I end up doing a lot of times is pretending I don't like things.
Mom: You like the Hamburger Helper, Austin? (That's my name, too)
Austin: <I can't stand any kind of Hamburger Helper and I'm just trying to be polite> Yes.
And then, Mom makes that shit every day and is all "You liked it last time I made it."
What's worse is when you get to around 10th grade and they start asking you what college you want to go to. And if you give them an answer, they tell everyone about it.
To solve this, I told my parents a different college every time. For a while, I had everyone believing that my dream was to go to the Honolulu Institute of Colorado to major in Quantum Mechanical Biology.
That's silly. The Honolulu Institute of Colorado doesn't have Quantum Mechanical Biology as a major!
I think he meant Quantum Mechanical Psychology. The Honolulu Institute of Colorado has one of the best QMP departments in the country
"This is my daughter; she likes to look at lolcats 24/7"
Please mom, that's ridiculous.
It's more like 23/7
Oh Lord, the persistence
http://ctrlv.in/76749
Gotta love that pussy stench! Oh, wait. What did that say? rereads Oh, that makes more sense.
"Mom, I gotta get some sleep, so it can't be 24/7!"
"Oh, we know, you still do it in your sleep though."
I live in an old people neighborhood, don't feel bad.
I do too except I have one neighbor and he's extremely hot and rich
You said you lived in the forest like snow white
I only have 1 neighbor I'm sure snow white had a neighbor
Well then, I should move to your neighborhood and change that.
...I should REALLY stop setting myself up.
I feel your pain. All the hot guys in my neighborhood live on the other side. It's the same neighborhood but it's connected by a huge main road... so I can't go see anyone on the other side. :(
Except for you... ;)
Fail.
You're right, he's not that great. You on the other hand.. Maybe go move over there and help him out.
Haha I feel like that example is from personal experience.
This one time a few months ago I told my parents I didn't want to bring a jacket because it wasn't cold outside and I ended up wearing my mom's and so now every time I wear a jacket they say "So you decided to bring a jacket, huh?"
"This is my granddaughter; she got kicked out of a Christian-based camp and will never work there again. Oh, and could you please bring out the dish boy? She'd like to apologize to him for showing him up on their date last month."
That...really happened?
Sounds pretty interesting XD
She tells people this every time we go to the restaurant.
Well, it IS quite an accomplishment...
I don't understand why parents think they're funny when everyone repeatedly insists they are not.
i broke the fender off my cousin's old car I used to practice driving in like a while back.
and so that's the first thing anyone knows about me when my mom introduces us.
and i can't do anything but stand there and smile, like I'm some fool who can't drive.
I KNOW! It's so annoying, my Mom is always like: "Oh, that's my son. He likes murdering people with a rusty axe." I mean like, I ONLY DID THAT ONCE!
Well....do you?
I want to favourite this post all day.
I want to make out with it.
I want to give it a strip tease.
Go for it! Please...?
When I was like in 4th grade I would tell everyone that I wanted to be a brain surgeon now my mom mentions that to like everyone even though I definitely have no ambition to be a brain surgeon anymore.
My mom holds the stupidest grudges. -_-
I feel your pain.
this is funny to me because i've made out with my neighbor
Was it very slippery and slimy? DETAILS PLEASE!
I'm sorry, but how is making out with a neighbor stupid or a mistake?
Because they're a 45 year old crack dealer with three teeth and bad B.O.